101 Rajnikanth Jokes

[amol]

With all due respect to the great actor, here is the collection of popular jokes on Rajnikanth:

http://www.southdreamz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/sivaji-rajinikanth.jpg


1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. …He is pushing the earth down.
3. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
5 .Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it’s cover.
7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.
16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.
22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.
25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
27. Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
28. Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.
30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
31. If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
33. Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
36. Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
38. Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good “or else”. The result? Mother Teresa.
42. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.
43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
45. Rajinikanth puts the ‘laughter’ in manslaughter.
46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth.
48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
49. Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.
50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.
51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
52. The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.
53. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,……… …. he turns the dark off.
54. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
55. Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.
61.Rajinikant can lick his elbows.
62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
64. Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
65. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.
66. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult.
67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
69. The statement “nobody can cheat death”, is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.
70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn’t know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.
71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.
73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.
74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
75. Rajnikanth taught Voldemort Parseltongue.
76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon – HoneyMoon.
77. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
78. Rajinikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
79. Rajinikanth’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s.
80. Rajinikanth doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths.
81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.
82. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajinikanth’s fist.
83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.
84. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.
85. Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.
86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikant”.
87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game “Hide n’ seek”, as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
90. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
91. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.
93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
94. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajinikanth.
95. Rajinikanth’s first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.
96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
98. It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
99. Rajinikanth’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
100. Rajnikanth doesn’t answer nature’s call nature answers Rajnikanth’s call!!
101. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

[amit_tiwari]

One fine morning Rajni thought about sharing his 0.001% knowledge and thus Google was born.

[kuram]

बस दो ही शब्द, " रजनी बाबा "

[ndhebar]

बस दो ही शब्द, " रजनी बाबा "
बाबा नहीं गुरु "अयअयेओ रजनी देवा" कहो जी

[amit_tiwari]

Gelileo used moon light to study,

Einstein used candle to study,

Newton used lamp to study

but the GREAT RAJNI used only AGARBATTI to study.

[pooja 1990]

amit ji lage raho.bahut khoob .maza aa gaya

[amit_tiwari]

If Rajnikant was born 100 years earlier, British would have fought to get independence from India

[amit_tiwari]

When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!



Rajnikanth once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced!



Micheal Jordan to Rajini: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you?
Rajni: Rascala; how do you think the earth spins!?

[amit_tiwari]

Ultimate Rajni joke ;





Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.

[bhoomi ji]

once dinosaurs borrowed money from Rajnikaant and refused to pay back
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that was the last time anyone saw dinosaurs

[ndhebar]

Rajani was swiming in caribbean.
he feel thirsty.
he drunk a sip of water
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Today the place called SAHARA DESERT

[bhoomi ji]

Graham Bell invented telephone and went for tea
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when he returned
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there were two missed calls from RAJNIKAANT

[bhoomi ji]

rajnikaat was putting his dog's tail in a steel pipe
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man- oye dog's tail never become straight...
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rajnikaat- its my dog guys i am just bending the pipe

[anjaan]

THE FACT OF THE DECADES WHICH NO ONE REALIZED
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SACHIN TENDULKAR Mom's name is "RAJNI TENDULKAR"
Do i need to say anything beyond this????

[Bholu]

gelileo used moon light to study,

einstein used candle to study,

newton used lamp to study

but the great rajni used only agarbatti to study.

ha ha ha
very good big brother

[jitendragarg]

Graham Bell invented telephone and went for tea
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when he returned

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there were two missed calls from RAJNIKAANT




You got it wrong. I distinctly remember, Graham bell invented the phone, cuz he was unable to receive calls from Rajnikant. Rajnikant used to call people even before the telephone was invented.

[ndhebar]

Rajinikant got 150 questions in exam paper asking - "Solve any 100 questions"

He solved all 150 and wrote, " Rascalla!, CHECK ANY 100!"

[ndhebar]

One day Rajani thought to play cricket in monsoon and rain stopped due to play

[ndhebar]

"Who says the world will be destroyed in Dec 2012..Rajnikant just bought a Laptop with three years warranty"

[ndhebar]

When Rajnikant was studying in 3rd std....some1 stole his rough note....&

Now they call it as .............Wikipedia

Crazy people!!!! ;)

[ndhebar]

Rajnikant started college. All students were confused while taking admission because name of college is

"Rajnikant's Medical College of Engineering for Commerce".

[dipu]

The world is not ending in 2012…. Rajnikant just bought a laptop with 3 yrs warranty!!*

Recently China airports were closed due to heavy fog, later it was discovered that Rajnikant was smoking in India!

Rajnikant did his KG from seven different places, today those places are known as IITs!

Government of India pays tax to Rajnikant for living in India!

Definition of Solar Eclipse: When Rajnikant stares at Sun with anger, sun hides behind the moon. This phenomena is called solar eclipse

Think about what would have happened if Rajnikant was born 150 years ago? British would have fought for independence

Why do Earthquakes occur? Because at that time Rajnikant's mobile is on vibration mode

Why did Rajni buy an acre of land with 4 wells on wach corner? To play carrom..

Before Tom Cruise, Rajani was approached for the movie Mission Impossible, but Rajani refused as he found the title insulting.

Rajnikanths next project. Titanic in Tamil. Climax revised. Both survive. Rajnikant swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and… Titanic in the other.

The Sardarji Association has decided to donate one hundred billion dollars to Rajanikant as a token of thanks for shifting people's focus away from them!!

Rajnikant can count real numbers

Only Rajni can dislike on Facebook

Rajnikant was born on 30th February. since then February decided not to give this day to anybody else

When Rajnikant hits facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!

Rajni once killed 20 men just by saying "BANG"

Rajni will be the star lead in the remake of the movie '300'. It will now be called '1'

Rajnikant first takes Gold Medal and then starts the race

Paul the Octopus was asked to predict when Rajnikant will die. Paul died....!!

Rajnikant has counted to infinty - Twice

Micheal Jordan to Rajni : I can spin a ball on my finger for over 2 hours. Can you?
Rajni : Rascala; how do you think the earth spins!?

Once upon a time, while playing, Rajnikanth said "statue" to a girl... Now that statue is known as "Statue of Liberty"!

Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than death can process them.

Rajanikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain.

Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Rajanikanth can kill a shark by drowning it.

When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,............. he turns the darkness off.

When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror it shatters, because the mirror is not stupid enough to get in between the two Rajanikanths

Rajanikanth's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one can fool Rajanikanth.

Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.

Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass...at night.

It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch "60 Minutes" on TV.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects that Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.

If you say "no one's perfect", Rajanikanth takes it as a personal insult.

When Rajnikant does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.

Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is!!

Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.

Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink.

Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet.

Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the ninth book.

Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.

Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.

To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.

10 actors have played the role of James Bond. No one has been able to enact Rajnikant… THE REAL JAMES BOND.

Why do you think there are no superheroes in india…. Simple… no one can invade Rajnikant’s territory.

Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’s PC will crash.

Rajnikant’s email id is gmail@rajnikant.com

If you Google search ‘Rajnikant getting kicked’, you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.

Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.

Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.

If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”

The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.

When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

Rajinikanth knows what women really want.

Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.

Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.

As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.

Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.

The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.

Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.

Rajinikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.

Rajinikanth’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s.

Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.

Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.

Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.

Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.

Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.

There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.

Rajnikanth can divide by zero.

Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.

Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.

Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.

Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.

Rajnikant’s every step is a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of his morning jog!

Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way!!

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai!

Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Rajnikant can make calls from his iPod to his iPad

Once Rajnikaant signed a cheque… and the Bank bounced!

Once Death had ‘near Rajnikant experience’ !!

When GOD is shocked he exclaims “Oh my Rajnikaant!”*

Great mystery solved : the missing piece of apple in Apple’s Logo was eaten by Rajnikant!!

The world is not ending in 2012…. Rajnikant just bought a laptop with 3 yrs warranty!!*

Rajnikant knows the exact value of Pi upto a Googol

Rajnikant knows what came first, chicken or egg!!

Rajnikant once won an argument with his wife

Rajnikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Rajnikanth hears sign language.

Rajnikanth can slam a revolving door.

Rajnikanth made a Happy Meal cry.

Once Rajnikant bought a Microsoft C.D. from Bill Gates and said keep the change, now Bill Gates is the richest person of the world.

[abhisays]

Rajnikant enters Bigg Boss!
Next day…
“Rajinikant chahte hai ki Big Boss Confession Room mein aaye…!”

[abhisays]

Rajinikanth knows what women really want.

[abhisays]

Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth - Rajinikanth finds you.

[abhisays]

Paul The Octopus was asked to predict when Rajinikant Would Die … R.I.P PAUL !!!!

[abhisays]

Rajinikanth added Facebook as his friend.

[abhisays]

Rajinikanth was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the he found the title insulting.

[abhisays]

If you spell Rajinikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, “Did you mean Rajinikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”

[abhisays]

It takes Rajinikanth 20 minutes to watch TV show 60 Minutes.

[abhisays]

Rajinikanth knows all secrets, including Victoria's Secret.

[abhisays]

Rajinikanth is so fast that he always comes yesterday.

[ndhebar]

Rajnikant enters Bigg Boss!
Next day…
“Rajinikant chahte hai ki Big Boss Confession Room mein aaye…!”

:laughlaugh::laughlaugh::laughlaugh:
:fantastic::fantastic:

[jokes0]

wow sahi likha ha yarr.

[abhisays]

'Ra.One' is a one minute short film of Rajinikanth where SRK had a two and a half hour guest appearance

[abhisays]

If Kolaveri Di was sung by Rajinikanth, it would have been our National Anthem!

[abhisays]

Rajnikanth was originally offered the lead role in 'Mission:Impossible' but he opted out because he found the title too insulting!

[abhisays]

When in kindergarten, Rajnikanth had written an essay on corruption.

It is now known as the Jan Lokpal Bill

[abhisays]

Introducing Rajinikanth's new actress....

Beti B!

[abhisays]

Once Rajini saw a black child singing on the street.

He said, 'A-KON hai tu?'.

He grew up to become Akon.

[abhisays]

Rajini's comments after watching Formula 1 race, "I dont like slow motion race!"

[abhisays]

Rajinikanth made a Happy Meal cry

[abhisays]

Happy Rajinikanth to all- from New Year and family

[abhisays]

Actress: Ek Chutki Sindoor Ki Keemat, Tum Kya Jaano Rajinibabu?

Rajnikanth: 0.00078924576 Rs. Per Gram

[abhisays]

If you spell Rajinikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajinikanth?"

It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

[abhisays]

Sachin Tendulkar: Boost is the secret of my energy..

Boost: Rajnikanth is the secret of our energy..!!

[abhisays]

Dear Harry Potter,
If I did 8 movies to defeat one lame villain, I'd give people their money back.
Regards,Rajnikanth

[abhisays]

Rajinikant got 150 questions in exam paper asking - "Solve any 100 questions",

He solved all 150 and wrote, "Rascalla!, Check ANY 100!"

[abhisays]

Rajinikanth called David Guetta to say, "Hi David, What do you mean 'The World is Mine'?!"

[abhisays]

The missing piece of the Apple logo was eaten by Rajinikanth

[abhisays]

Only Rajinikanth can send enemy requests on facebook

[abhisays]

BREAKING NEWS: Rajinikant purchases two Nano cars for Skating!

[abhisays]

Rajinikant got selected to be part of MTV Roadies.

Next day during the vote out, Rajnikant said, "I'm sorry Raghu, aapka Roadies ka safar yahi khatam hota hai."

[abhisays]

Once Spiderman, Superman, Batman, He-Man and Shaktimaan all visited Rajinikant to wish Rajini sir on Teachers Day

[abhisays]

Who can stop 150 cars at a time?

Traffic police.

Come on guys it can't be Rajinikanth all the time.

[abhisays]

Once Mr. Rajini spat on a building after chewing paan.

Now the building is known as The Red Fort

[abhisays]

Nature answers Rajinikanth's call

[abhisays]

Rajnikanth doesn't ask, "Who's your daddy?" Rajnikanth IS your daddy.

[arvind]

सन 2010 की एक फिल्म... "रोबोट" जिसके हीरो हे "रजनी", फिल्म मे रजनी ने रोबोट का जबर्दस्त किरदार निभाया है।
सन 2045 की एक फिल्म.... "रजनी" जिसके हीरो है "रोबोट", फिल्म मे रोबोट ने रजनी का जबर्दस्त किरदार निभाया है।

[ndhebar]

Rajinikant got selected to be part of MTV Roadies.

Next day during the vote out, Rajnikant said, "I'm sorry Raghu, aapka Roadies ka safar yahi khatam hota hai."

this was awsome..

[abhisays]

RajniKanth One Liners


Rajanikanth makes onions cry.
Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’ PC will crash.
Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
Rajanikanth can build a snowman….. out of rain.
Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Rajanikanth can drown a fish.
Rajanikanth can play the violin…… …with a piano.
When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,……… …. he turns the dark off.
Rajanikanth once had a heart attack…… ……… his heart lost.
When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.
The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.
Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.(including newton )
Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.
When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.

[abhisays]

Kal Pure INDIA Me Light Chali Gayi,
kyO Pata Hai..
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kyO Ki..
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Rajnikant Bhai mObile Charge Kar Rahe The . .

[abhisays]

Barish hui aur bheeg gaye hum..
wah wah
Barish hui aur bheeg gaye hum…
wah wah
Aage kya hua? Hona kya tha, Rajnikant ne phoonk mari, Aur sukh gaye hum!!

[abhisays]

Once Rajnikanth was practicing for a spelling test… the rough sheet he used is known as…
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OXFORD DICTIONARY

[abhisays]

http://rajnijokes.info/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/155436_464924702726_520062726_6150113_6487368_n.jp g

[abhisays]

Why “EARTH QUAKE” occurs on Earth…?
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?
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because
At that time RAJNIKANTH mobile is on vibrating mode..;-)

[abhisays]

Ek bhoot amavas ki raat me 12 baje dusre bhoot ko samjha raha tha…
tu dare mat~~~~~
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Rajnikant Vajnikant jaisa kuch nahi hota!

[abhisays]

What is that rajnikanth can do..that we cant even think of doin it..?!
He can answer a missed call.!

[abhisays]

* The only time Rajini needed a body double was crying scene !
* Rajinikanth knows why this kolaveri kolaveri Di
* Once Rajinikanth threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then grenade exploded !
* Sachin : The God of cricket...... Sehwag: The Rajinikanth of cricket
* Rajinikanth can kill a living room....
* Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Rajnikanth once killed four birds with half a stone.
What? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? Well, the four dead birds didn't think so either.
* Rajinikanth can give missed call to his own number..!
* God created Earth and Heaven in 6 days , on 7th day he rested then he created Rajinikanth !

[abhisays]

* Einstein Said: Everything is relative.
Karunanidhi said: Relative is everthing.
Rajinikanth said: I am everything.
* Rajinikanth doesn't answer nature's call. Nature answers Rajinikanth's call
* Govt of India pays tax to Rajinikanth for living here
* When Rajinikanth goes to a gym to workout, no one can workout since Rajini uses all the weights available.
* Einstein said you can't move at the speed of light, obviously he was never kicked by Rajinikanth
* Why Himalayas are rising? It's simple. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai. Lever effect.
* Adam and Eve are children of Rajinikanth

[abhisays]

* Rajinikanth is so fast that he always comes yesterday
* Rajinikanth can get rid of his shadow
* Rajini's fav desert: Lal michi ki meetha kheer
* Rajini can eat dosa with chop sticks
* Tornado changes course when it sees Rajini standing in it's way
* Police dept is bored because of 0 crime in the city where rajini lives
* Gabbar singh forgets his dialogues when he sees Rajinikanth

[abhisays]

* Rajini won the best actor oscar for his acting in a game of dumb charades
* The box office collection of the movie RA-One Was less than parking collection of ROBOT.......!
* Once Rajnikanth became the coach of Indian cricket team and guess wha India won the Fifa world cup !
* People update status from BlackBerry, iPhone, iPad, etc. Rajinikant updates his facebook status with a calculator !!
* Rajinikant got 150 questions in exam paper asking - "Solve any 100 questions" He solved all 150 and wrote, " Rascalla!, CHECK ANY 100!"
* Rajini participates in long jump once every four year.... And those years are called LEAP year

[abhisays]

* Once Rajnikanth entered bigg boss...The next day announcement was made... Rajnikanth chahte hai ki bigg boss confession room me aaye
* Once Rajni was the guest contestant in KBC. Amitabh says: Computerji, Rajnikantji to phela sawaal poochiye. Computer: main lifeline use karna chahta hu.
* Ek bar Rajinikanth ne ek aadmi ko "Go to Hell" kaha... That person is now known as Yamraj !!
* Rajinikanth knows Ek chutki sindur ke kimat... Rs 0.0234355884
* Once Rajinikanth told joke to a little kid... Now he is known as laughing buddha
* Rajinikanth can cure cancer with his first aid box

[abhisays]

* Once Rajinikanth used the support of a building to tie his shoe lace, the building is known as Leaning tower of Pisa.
* Rajinikanth knows those two persons.. who shake hands in NOKIA cell phones...!!
* Ram and Ravan were in a serious fight..
In the middle of the fight Ravan suddenly stopped after he saw someone standing behind Ram
Ravan : Acha chal bye..
Ram : Arey kya hua?
Ravan : Kuch nai ..bas bye
Ram : Arey lekin hua kya??
Ravan : Itni si baat ke liye Rajinikanth ko kyun bulaya yaar? :-)
* Rajinikanth's dog can bend a pipe with it's tail.
* Lord Shiva: Mera Trishul kahan hai ?
Parvati: Rajnikanth le gaya.
Shiva: Kyun?
Parvati: Maggi khaane ke liye !!!
* Michael Jackson's moon walk is no match for Rajinikanth's Sun Walk...
* Rajinikanth Calls In Indian Airlines- how long it takes for a flight from Chennai to Kolkata?
Airline:1 hour Sir.
Rajnikanth: Issey accha mein paidal chala jau..

[abhisays]

* Munni Badnaam hui Rajinikanth ke liye
* Rajinikanth can make his wife admit her mistakes
* Rajinikanth doesn't enjoy animation movies because he can see the gaps between the 24 frames every second
* The reason why Rajinikanth stuttered in the movie Darr, because he saw Rajinikanth behind Juhi
* When Rajinikanth gets depressed, the world faces great depression
* Rajinikanth is a vegetarian… He doesn't eat animals until he first puts them into vegetative state with his blow
* If Rajinikanth's PC hangs… its time for next windows release…
* Rajinikanth can sneeze with open eyes.
* Rajini is the reason why we don't have any other superheros in India
* Rajinikanth can make 2 parallel lines intersect just by staring at them.

[abhisays]

* Rajinikanth can make dog say "Meow" !!
* Santa Claus waits for a gift from Rajinikanth every Christmas.
* Rajinikanth taught yoga to Baba Ramdev.
* Rajinikanth taught us all... Impossible is nothing...
* One of Rajinikanth's hobby: Swimming on Tsunami.
* Sh!t happens to everyone.. Even to Rajini... One time he coudn't kill 100 bears with a single punch but only 99 died.
* Rajinikanth uses Ambuja cement as tooth powder
* Once Rajinikanth dropped a coin while he was standing in the belcony... He went down to pick it up, but it was not there.... hmmmm... He reached there before the coin...
* Rajinikanth was not amused by Gandhi’s non violence movement.
* Lifetime Warranty does not exist only because of Rajnikanth
* If you want a list of Rajinikanth's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
* When RAJNI had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

[abhisays]

* The apple which fell on newton was actually thrown by Rajinikanth
* Only Rajinijanth has 32 wisdom teeth.
* When Rajinikanth goes thru immigration.. the officers show him thier passports
* Sun doesn't rise until Rajinikanth says 'Good Morning'
* Once Rajnikant, after chewing the 'PAAN', spit on the wall of a building.
Today that building is popularly known as THE RED FORT..
* Once Rajinikath shouted at a boy for not wearing cap in the hot sun.
Today that boy is known as Himesh Reshammiya.
* Rajnikanth Saw The Movie Break k Baad before the Break !!!

[abhisays]

* Rajnikanth's pulse is measured in richter scale.
* Rajnikanth was practicing for a spelling test..the rough sheet he used is known as oxford dictionary..
* Rajnikanth has seen the face of the fat lady who owns the house in tom n jerry..
* Rajnikanth ploughs the field using nothing but his toes.
* Once spiderman,superman and batman visited rajnikant's house together.. it was teachers day!
* Rajinikanth can whistle and smile at the same time...
* Computer doesn't give warning message to Rajini… Rajini warns computer
* Rajini awards goes to Oscar

[abhisays]

* Twitter follows Rajini
* When Rajnikant get angry at the Sun, it hides behind the moon… that phenomenon is called Solar eclipse.
* When rajnikant farts, all the girls follow him
* Rajini was born on 30th Feb, since then that date was removed from calendar so that noone else gets the same birthday.
* Rajnikanth can run Windows 7 on 64KB memory.
* Rajni never tweets, he only roars.
* Who can stop more than 50 cars with 1 hand... Trafic police.. Haar baar Rajinikanth thodi hoga...

[abhisays]

* God is not Rajinikanth.
* Once Rajni was fined by cops for overspeeding at a 75 miles/hr zone... while walking ...
* Rajnikanth can send an SMS from a Landline phone.
* Rajnikanth doesn't write books... words assemble themselves.
* Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
* Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths.
* Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's.
* Rajni’s bike has semicircular tyres...
* We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
* Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.
* Every morning rajni goes for spacewalk.
* When Rajnikant dies..his tombstone will not read RIP...... ......... It will read.......BRB!!

[abhisays]

* Ghosts have been debating for ages whether Rajinikanth really exists or not.
But they are scared anyway.
* In Rajinikanth's wedding, the fire took the saath phere of Rajinikanth and his bride.
* Only Rajinikanth can kiss his own ass.
* Computer viruses are looking for Anti-Rajinikanth software.
* When Rajnikanth was a kid he made his mom eat her vegetables.
* The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Rajnikant out.
They didn't know that Rajinikanth can walk through walls.
* Rajnikant can tie his shoes with his feet. Wink !

[abhisays]

* In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Rajnikant.
The ones listed are in second place."
* Rajnikant can make a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
* Rajnikanth and Superman once had arm wrestled and the loser had to wear his
underwear over his pants... We all know who won..!! It was even worse for Spiderman.
He had to wear his underwear over his head.
* Rajnikant irons his Pants with those still on.
* Rajnikant can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
* Rajnikanth can write into a READ ONLY file.
* Rajnikant once wrote his autobiography. Today that book is known as
"Guiness book of world records" and his childhood homework is now called Wikipedia.

[abhisays]

* What do you call Rajnikanth's Aunty ?? Rajini-Ki-Aunt !!!
* Rajnikant first takes the gold medal and then starts the race
* Rajnikanth went for morning walk...... In the afternoon police stopped him.. Because he
reached USA without visa..!!!
* Rajni gave permission to Sachin to score those hundreds..
* Alfred Noble is nominated for RAJNIKANTH award !
* Rajnikant knows the exact value of Pi upto a Googol
* Rajnikanth laughs at you and your silly jokes about him even before you think them up.
* Some actor set benchmarks in cinema, Rajnikanth sets deskmarks
* Rajnikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life unless it gets in his way.
* Whenever Rajnikant makes an error, it’s an invention.

[abhisays]

* Once God was surprised at something, he exclaimed "OMR" ("Oh my Rajnikaant!")
* There is no Ctrl button on Rajnikant's pc beacuse Rajnikant is always in control.
* Rajnikant cannot fly. He just jumps and chooses when to come down.
* Only Rajnikant knows Kaun Banega Crorepati.
* Only Rajnikant knows Choli Ke Peechhe Kya Hai.
* President is Indian citizen no.1...Rajnikant's number is 0
* Rajnikant twice won arguments with his wife.
* Rajini doesn’t need water supply. He can mix hydrogen and oxygen and produce water
whenever he wants.
* There in nothing Rajini’Kant do.
* Rajnikanth runs until the Treadmill gets tired

[abhisays]

* Rajinikanth wanted to organize a small show for his family and friends and
that's how CommonWealth Games came to India.
* How did Paul Octopus died?? He was asked to predict Rajanikanth's death.
* The missing piece of the Apple logo was eaten by Rajinikanth.
* Rajinikanth's email id... gmail@RAJINIKANTH.com (gmail@RAJINIKANTH.com)
* Rajinikanth had to make 24 runs in just 1 ball remaining. He hit the ball in such a way
that it got broken into 4 pieces and he got 4 sixers.
* Genies rub Rajinikanth and he grants them three wishes.
* You will lose the game even though you have "3 aces" ... if the opponent have "1 Rajinikanth"
* Basketball player: "I can spin a basketball on my finger for 2 hours, can U?".
Rajinikanth: "How the hell do U think the earth rotates? "
* Viagra needs Rajinikanth.
* Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

[abhisays]

* Warning on Condom packet "There is no such thing as protection from Rajinikanth!"
* Even Gajini remembers Rajini.
* Rajinikanth wear sunglasses to protect the sun from his rage.
* Rajinikanth can piss his name in concrete.
* Rajinikanth was offered Aamir's role in "Ghajini" but he denied. Because Rajanikanth
can only give memory loss.

[abhisays]

* Rajanikanth can make onions cry.
* Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
* Rajinikanth can divide by 0 (zero).
* Rajanikanth can build a snowman... out of rain.
* Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.
* Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
* Rajinikanth doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
* Rajinikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
* Rajinikanth can handle the truth.
* Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.
* East India Company left India in 1947, because Rajinikanth was supposed to be born in 1949.
* Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.
* Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
* Death once had a near Rajinikanth experience.
* A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
* Rajinikanth made an IPhone 8G for himself.
* Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.

[abhisays]

* Once upon a time, a wild boar got in Rajinikanth's way & was pulled up by his nose & thrown 30 miles away. Today its descendents are known as elephants.
* Rajinikanth doesnt pay attention - attention pays him.
* Rajinikanth stared at the sun for hours, the sun then blink.
* Rajinikanth once entered a race he came first, second and third.
* Rajinikath once wrote a cheque the bank bounced.
* Once Rajinikanth while playing the game said "Statue" to a lady. Today it is known as the Statue of Liberty.
* Once Rajanikanth participated in 100 mts race and obviously he won. Light came second.
* A girl once lost her virginity. Rajinikanth brought it back.

[abhisays]

* Once Rajinikanth was playing cricket, and he hit a six.... Now the ball is called Pluto.
* One nite while sleeping, Rajinikanth was mumbling some random numbers... That was how the log table was invented.
* Face book, twitter and orkut join Rajini today.
* Once a photo of Rajinikanth was given to get it xeroxed.... but got 2 xerox machhines.
* Rajinikanth knows which came first,the egg or the chicken.
* Whales live in deep oceans.. because they know Rajinikanth lives on land.
* Rajinikanth can cut diamond with his finger.

[abhisays]

* Rajinikath doesn't use condoms... there is no such thing as protection from Rajinikanth
* Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
* Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
* There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
* Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has
encountered Rajinikanth".

[abhisays]

* Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than death can process them.
* Only Rajinikanth can make wind visible.
* If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajanikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
* When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
* Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
* Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
* Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

[abhisays]

* There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
* It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
* Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.
* Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
* Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
* When you say "No one's perfect", Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.

[abhisays]

Some facts about Rajnikant from his films:
1. Rajnikant has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikant is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajnikant!

2. In another movie, Rajnikant is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikant has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3. Rajnikant is chased by a gangster. Rajnikant has a revolver but no bullets in it. Rajnikant waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…
4. Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. Rajnikant has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax. Rajnikant suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

[abhisays]

Rajnikant Vs the Computer World

1. Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.
2. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’s PC will crash.
3. Rajnikant’s email id is gmail@rajnikant.com
4. If you Google search ‘Rajnikant getting kicked’, you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
5. Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
6. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
7. If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
8. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.

[abhisays]

General facts about Rajnikant
1. Rajnikant has counted to infinity-twice.
2. When Rajnikant does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.
3. Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is!!
4. Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
5. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
6. Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink.
7. Rajnikant’s every step is a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of his morning jog!
8. Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way!!
9. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai!
10. Rajanikanth can build a snowman…. out of rain.
11. Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
12. Rajanikanth can drown a fish.
13. Rajanikanth can play the violin….on a piano.
14. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on ….he turns the dark off.
15. Rajanikanth once had a heart attack…. his heart lost.
16. Rajanikanth makes onions cry.
17. It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes .
18. The only things that run faster and longer than Rajnikant are his films.
19. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
20. When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.
21. Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
22. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
23. Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
24. Rajnikant is so fast. He can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
25. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
26. Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
27. Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
28. When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
29. Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
30. Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
31. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
32. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
33. Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
34. Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
35. Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
36. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
37. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.
38. Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
39. Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
40. With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
41. The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.
42. When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.
43. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
44. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
45.. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
46. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
47. Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
48. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
49. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
50. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.

[abhisays]

51. Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
52. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
53. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
54. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
55. Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
56. Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
57. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
58. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
59. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
60. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
61. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
62. Rajinikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
63. Rajinikanth’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s.
64. Rajinikanth doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths.
65. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
66. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.
67. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.
68. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
69. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.
70. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajinikanth’s fist.
71. Rajinikanth puts the ‘laughter’ in manslaughter.
72. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
73. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game “Hide n’ seek”, as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
74. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
75. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
76. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.
77. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
78. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajinikanth.
79. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
80. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

[abhisays]

Rajnikanth can divide by zero.


Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.


Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.


Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.



Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.


Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.



There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.


Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.



Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.



Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.



Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.



Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.



Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.



Rajinikanth can speak Braille.



Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.


Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.



Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet.



Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth. :priase:



Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.



Rajinikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.



Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.



In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.



Rajinikanth knows what women really want.



Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.



Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikanth”.



There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.



Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.

[hasoaurhasao]

more fun




:crazyeyes:

[abhisays]

Once rajnikanth gave advice to shy girl for not to shy .....Now that girl is known as. Poonam Pandey..!!

[abhisays]

Why rajanikant is rich? Because his car doesnt need petrol

[abhisays]

Once police saw rajni doing wrong, tab se Kanoon Andha ho gaya

[abhisays]

While touring Italy, Rajni leaned on a building. Now you know why the Tower of Pisa is leaning!

[abhisays]

Message received on Rajnikant's Birthday.
" Dear Birthday

Happy Rajnikant "

[abhisays]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/304282_241933819188506_100001156702474_595007_5128 540_n.jpg

[abhisays]

Ram aur Raavan bada serious yudh kr rahe the tabhi Raavan ne Ram ke peechay kisi ko khada dekha

Raavan: chal yar bye. :@

Ram: kya hua? :s

Raavan : nahi yar bas bye. Le sita ko leja :-(

Ram: are hua kya ruk to sahi :-(
.

.

.
Ravaan: Bas rehne de yar, itni si baat pe Rajnikanth ko bula liya...

[abhisays]

BOSS to an employee: "Do you believe in life after Death?"
EMPLOYEE: "Certainly not! There's no proof of it", he replied.
BOSS: "Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle's funeral, he came here looking for you."

[abhisays]

When Rajnikant was studying in 3rd std....some1 stole his rough note....&

Now they call it as .............Wikipedia

Crazy people!!!!

========================================

When Rajnikant was a Student¦!!!

Teachers use to Bunk the classes!!!

========================================

Rajnikant started college. All students were confused while taking admission because name of college is

"Rajnikant's Medical College of Engineering for Commerce".

========================================

THE MOST NEGLECTED FACT OF THE ENTIRE DECADE!!!!


Sachin Tendulkar's mothers name is RAJNI Tendulkar

And his coach's name is ramaKANT

Is there a need to say anything beyond this???

========================================

Rajinikant got 150 questions in exam paper asking - "Solve any 100 questions"

He solved all 150 and wrote, " Rascalla!, CHECK ANY 100!"

========================================

One day Rajani thought to play cricket in monsoon and rain stopped due to play.

========================================

Rajnikanth's next project is the Titanic in Tamil. However, Rajni has twisted the climax. Both the lead actors survive. Rajni swims

across the Atlantic Ocean with the heroine in one hand and... The Titanic in the other

========================================

"Who says the world will be destroyed in Dec 2012..Rajnikant just bought a Laptop with three years warranty"

========================================

Rajni can walk faster than light.
"Rajni cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be changed from one form to another".

========================================

Law of Conservation of Rajni

All scientists failed to answer this but rajnikanth did...
Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
Ans: Dosa... mind it!!!

========================================

Once a photo of Rajnikant was given for Xerox. Don't even try to guess what happened.

We got two copies of the Xerox machine.

[abhisays]

Once a big stone obstructed Rajani's way.
He kicked high in sky and now it is so called
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.The MOON

[abhisays]

Once Rajanikant decided to stare at the Sun...
The sun got scared and hided itself behind the Moon...
Later this situation was named as..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
SOLAR ECLIPSE

[abhisays]

Once when shooting on a beach in Tamil Nadu, Rajanikant kicked a stone..
Now that stone is known as
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
SRI LANKA

[abhisays]

Rajinikant participated in 100 meter race and obviously he came first...
But Einstein died after watching that...
bcoz..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
LIGHT came second...

[abhisays]

Once Rajinikant participated in Moto gp Bike race......
.
.
.
.
.
Don't even try to guess wat happened
.
.
.
.
.
Rajinikant won d race on neutral gear!

[abhisays]

Rajinikanth doesnt breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.

[abhisays]

Once Rajinikant went to Bhopal for shooting and had a stomach upset.....and the result was..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
BHOPAL GAS TRAGEDY...

[abhisays]

1 day Rajinikant got angry on his sweeper boy., he kicked him so hard that he went flying in the sky with is broom...
2day that boy is famous as "HARRY POTTER"...

[abhisays]

Rajinikant went fr a morning walk frm Chennai
.
and in afternoon police arrested him..
.
why??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Bcoz he reached USA without Visa

[abhisays]

Once Rajinikant bunked a whole day in school..
.
.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Since then that day is known as sunday...

[abhisays]

Rajnikanth doesnt need a visa 2 travel abroad, he jumps from the tallest building in chennai holds himself in d air while d earth rotates -)

[abhisays]

Before tom cruise,rajnikant was approached for
the movie "mission impossible"
but he refused
.
.
.
.
.
.
as he found the title insulting

[abhisays]

Once Rajnikanth was asked how he felt about the jokes made on him which were spreading through sms and internet.
To everyones surprise he started laughing and replied-Do you really think they are jokes?

[abhisays]

Rajni once taught a child how to play
counter strike and that guy is now
called..............
.
.
.
.
.
.
"OSAMA BIN LADEN"

[abhisays]

Once rajnikant donated blood to a small,thin boy suffering from malnutrition
.
.
.
...
.......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
today the child is known as

"THE GREAT KHALI"

[abhisays]

Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.

[abhisays]

Basketball player to RAJNIKANT:
I can spin a ball on my finger for 2 hours ... can u ???

rajnikanth: yena rascala, how do u think the earth spins?? mind it...

[abhisays]

An e-mail was sent from Pune to Mumbai
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Rajnikant stopped it in Lonavla ... : D

[abhisays]

as a kid Rajnikant maintained a diary of day to day activities,
today that diary called as.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.

Guinness Book Of World Records

[abhisays]

once Rajnikant lost his wallet.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
since then....
the world is facing recession.

[abhisays]

once Rajnikan taught a kid how to enter a house without ringing the doorbell....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
today that kid is known as inspector Daya.

[abhisays]

Galileo used lamp to study... Graham Bell used candle... Shakespeare studied in street light.... But,
do u know about...
RAJNIKANT????
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.ONLY AGARBATTI !!!!!

[abhisays]

once Rajnikant hit a six and that ball is known as
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Planet Pluto!

[abhisays]

Once a boy inserted A CD named rajnikanth
into his PC...
Guess what...

.
.
.
.
.
.His PC started Rotating around the CD rom

[abhisays]

Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.bird.!

[abhisays]

Intel's new tag line for its processors ...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Rajnikanth Inside"

[abhisays]

31. Rajnikant's school time homework is now known as
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
wikipedia

32. Rajnikant was caught on d highway for speeding................
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
While walking

33. once in a fight Rajnikanti got angry and showed the Middle Finger to a lady.......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The lady got pregnant

34. Rajnikant was shot today..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tomorrow is the bullet's funeral

35. Rajnikant got his driving license at the age of.......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
18 seconds

36. Why did the British leave INDIA in 1947 ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because they came to know a baby Named Rajnikant will be born in 1947

37. The newly got symbol for the Rupee is actually
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
rajnikant's signature.

38. Rajnikant doesn't shave...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

he just looks in the mirror and dares hairs to grow

39. Wat does GOD exclaim when he is shocked?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
'Oh my RAJNIKANTH

40. A 22 wheeler huge truck once met with an accident against RAJINIKANTH
.

.

.

.
Since then,

it is called TATA NANO.

41. Rajnikanth and Superman once had arm wrestled and the loser had to wear his Underwear over his pants..
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
We all know who won

42. Once Rajnikanth saw a poor beggar on road and helped him by giving money. The beggar is now called
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
'Bill Gates'

43. Rajnikanth knows that Bingo Mad Angles is tasty from .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
which angle.

44. Once Rajnikant taught a boy how to kiss. Now that boy is known as '.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Emran Hashmi'

45. Rajnikant can make two parallel lines.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. Intersect each other.

46. Once Rajinikanth was throwing Paper Rockets in the air. The Next day, .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
World Trade Center Came Down!

47. Rajnikanth woke up in the morning and decided that he had to share atleast 1 or his knowledge with the World. Thus..

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Google was born.

48. When Rajinikant croses the Road, the cars have to look
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
left and right before moving.

49. After release of Robot, Rajnikanth gave Times of India 3 stars.

50. Once a person threw an ignited Cigarette up in the sky.
It fell on a planet,
which is now known as
"SUN"
and the person is none other than
"RAJNIKANT"

51. Rajnikanth calls VOLDEMORT by his name and Voldemort calls him as "u know who"

Rajnikanth has counted to infinity.... Twice!

Rajnikanth goes to court and sentences the judge...

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajnikanth lives in Chennai...


52. Rajnikanth kills harry potter in the 8th book.

Rajnikanth can kill Spiderman with BAYGON!!!

Rajnikanth can divide by zero.

Time and tide, wait for Rajnikanth.....

Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.

Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.

[abhisays]

Rajnikanth's pulse is measured in ...
:
:
RICHTER SCALE !!!!

[abhisays]

Rajnikanth knows ...
:
:
Who let the dogs out !!!

[abhisays]

Rajnikanth was practicing for a spelling test... The rough sheet he used is known as ...
:
:
OXFORD DICTIONARY !!

[abhisays]

The ultimate RAJNI fact :

Even GHAJINI remebers RAJNI !!!!!

[abhisays]

Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it...:-)

[abhisays]

Rajnikanth Did his KG from 7 different schools

Now they are known as IIT'S.

[abhisays]

http://lulzimg.com/i19/84b94e.jpg

[abhisays]

||rajnikanth challisa ||
|| yada yada hi dharmasyaglanir bhavati bollywood/tollywood ||
||abhyutthanam adharmasyatadatmanam rajnikantham ||

BHAWARTH: JAB AB JAB BOLLYWOOD/TOLLYWOOD PE PAAP BAREGAJAB JAB LOG ADHARM KE RASSTE PAR CHALEGATAB TAB PARAM SHRI “RAJNIKANTH JI” WILL COME IN THE SCENE (IN SOME FORM OR OTHER.LIKE ROBOT AND SHIVAJI ) or INCARNATE HIMSELF

[abhisays]

When Rajnikant switches on his AC, then winter starts in India.

[abhisays]

Rajnikanth's Slam book :-

Name : RAJNIKANTH
Hobby: Collecting Tiger Tooths, Catching Bullets with Bare Hands..
My Records: Fought with an Elephant broke its Neck..
Greatest Achievement: Skated on Lava..
Silly Thing Done: Swimming on Tsunami..
Most Embarassing Moment: Coudn't kill 100 Bears with a single punch only 99 died..
Proudest Moment: When a Cobra died after biting me..
Something about me:- I really don't like to show off.

[ballove.badshah]

Rajni raise a finger to a girl in anger mood..




Girls got pregnant


Nokia launched a Phone Of R series, for rajnikant,
Features:-
240 Sim slat,
1200 MP camera,back, front and in all side..
24 TB memory,
Can call at a time on 5 number,
Tv , freeze, Missile, Pistol, AK 47, Rocket launcher,


No touch pad , foot pad

[ballove.badshah]

moon get shed face,once refused proposal of rajinikant birth day party lighting in day..

[ballove.badshah]

Rajnikant can call from









calculator

[bindujain]

All new series of Rajnikanth:

Rajnikanth was shot today... Tomorrow is the bullet`s funeral!

Rajnikanth killed a terrorist in Pakistan 'via Bluetooth'!

Rajnikanth can draw a straight line with a compass!

Rajnikanth knows who let the dogs out!!

Rajnikanth`s pulse is measured in Richter scale!

The new Rupee symbol is actually Rajnikanth`s signature!!!

Rajnikanth has a statue of Madame Tussauds at his house!!

Rajnikanth is the secret of Boost`s
energy;
and Complan is a Rajnikanth boy!

Rajnikanth participated in 100m race, obviously he came first, but
Einstein died watching that, since Light came second!!

Intel's new ad: "Rajnikanth Inside"
-------------------------
When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had two missed calls from Rajinikanth.
----------------------------------
Why does needle of magnetic compass always point towards North??? . . Because, RAJINIKANTH lives in the South and no one has guts to point at him!!!
----------------------------------
The apple which fell on Newton was actually thrown by Rajinikanth!
----------------------------------
An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai, Rajinikanth stopped it in Lonawala!
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth can whistle in 5 different languages!
----------------------------------
Only Rajinikanth knows why Mona Lisa is smiling.
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth is the person in the world who can make his girlfriend admit her mistake!
----------------------------------
Rajinikanth went to the world cooking championship...of course Rajini won. But guess what did he make in final??? Lal mirchi ki meethi kheer.

[Awara]

रजनी का जादू देखिये।

http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/7645/rajni.jpg

[aspundir]

रजनी का जादू देखिये।

http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/7645/rajni.jpg

हा हा हा । जादू वही जो सिर चढ़ कर बोले ।

[raju]

Federer challenges Rajnikant

Federer: I know everything in tennis. You can ask me anything!

Rajnikant: Ok. Tell me, how many holes are there in the nets?
Mind it!

[raju]

.....

Dear santa,

what do you want for christmas


Regards

Rajnikanth !!!!

.....

Outer space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet with
.
.
.
.
Rajnikanth

......

Rajnikanth count's to Infinity when he is angry !!!!

....


Rajnikanth never wets his bed as a child,

The bed wets itself in fear !!!

.....

When Rajnikanth was in class 3 His teacher told him to write an essay on anything. Today the essay is known as
.
.
.
.
.
Wikipedia

.......

Rajnikanth once wrote his Biography today the book is known as

GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS

....

When Rajnikanth joined Facebook he got a notification that Facebook wants to be his Friend

........

Rajnikanth doesn't wear a watch he decides what time it is !!!

.....

Rajnikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink !!!

.....

The only thing that runs faster and longer than Rajnikanth is his FILMS

.....

Where there is a will there is a way
.
.
.
.
.
Where there is Rajnikanth there is no other way !!!

......

Rajnikanth gave monalisa that smile

....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[raju]

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Repository/getimage.dll?path=CAP/2011/02/06/66/Img/Ar0661001.png

[Awara]

रजनीकांत ने जामुन के पेड़ के नीचे गुलाब लगाया। आपको मालूम है क्या हुआ?
.
..
...
....
पेड़ पर "गुलाब जामुन" फलने लगा।

[Awara]

जब से कानून ने रजनीकांत को अपराध करते हुए देखा, तो मालूम है कि क्या हुआ?
.
..
...
होना क्या था?
तब से क़ानून अंधा हो गया।

[Awara]

रजनीकांत एक बार केबीसी में गेस्ट प्रतिभागी बने।
अमिताभ: कम्प्यूटर जी, रजनीकांत से पहला सवाल पूछिए?
कम्प्यूटर: मैं लाइफ लाइन का इस्तेमाल करना चाहता हूं।

[Awara]

When first programming language invented , the first program written was "Hello! Rajnikant"

[Awara]

Rajnikanth - The Programmer

1. When Rajnikanth throws exceptions, it’s across the room.

2. All arrays Rajnikanth declares are of infinite size, because Rajnikanth knows no bounds.

3. Rajnikanth doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

4. Rajnikanth writes code that optimizes itself.

5. Rajnikanth can’t test for equality because he has no equal.

6. Rajnikanth doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .LungiKick().

7. Rajnikanth’s first program was kill -9.

8. Rajnikanth burst the dot com bubble.

9. All browsers support the hex definitions #rajni and #kanth for the colors black and blue.

10. MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Rajni’s (he just lets you use it).

11. Rajnikanth can write infinite recursion functions… and have them return.

12. Rajnikanth can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.

13. The only pattern Rajnikanth knows is God Object.

14. Rajnikanth finished World of Warcraft.

15. Project managers never ask Rajnikanth for estimations… ever.

16. Rajnikanth doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him.

17. “It works on my machine” always holds true for Rajnikanth.

18. Whiteboards are white because Rajnikanth scared them that way.

19. Rajnikanth doesn’t do Burn Down charts, he does Lungi Down charts.

20. Rajnikanth can overflow your stack just by looking at it.

21. Rajnikanth’s beard can type 140 wpm.

22. Rajnikanth can unit test entire applications with a single assert.

23. Rajnikanth doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

24. Rajnikanth’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Rajnikanth.

25. When Rajnikanth is web surfing websites get the message “Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?”.

26. Rajnikanth doesn’t need a debugger, he just stares down the bug until the code confesses.

27. To Rajnikanth, everything contains a vulnerability.

28. Rajnikanth doesn’t need sudo, he just types “Rajnikanth” before his commands.

29. Rajnikanth can instantiate an abstract class.

30. Parent is the child of Rajnikanth.

31. Rajnikanth doesn’t get compiler errors, the language changes itself to accommodate Rajnikanth.

32. The programs that Rajnikanth writes don’t have version numbers because he only writes them once.

33. If a user reports a bug or has a feature request in Rajnikanth's program they don’t live to see the sun set.

34. Rajnikanth’ Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

35. Rajnikanth solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here’s the pseudo-code:

Break salesman into N pieces.
Kick each piece to a different city.

36. When Rajnikanth points to NULL, Null scares.

37. The function Rajnikanth writes does not have arguments.

38. Rajnikanth never gets a syntax error. Instead, The language gets a DoesNotConformToRajni error.

39. Rajnikanth doesn’t delete files, he “Kicks them away”.

40. Rajnikanth went out of an infinite loop.

41. Rajnikanth’s keyboard has the Any key.

42. Rajnikanth’ programs never exit, they terminate!

43. Rajnikanth insists on strongly-typed programming languages.

44. Rajnikanth protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.

45. Rajnikanth programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.

46. Rajnikanth can spawn threads that complete before they are started.

47. Rajnikanth programs do not accept input.

48. Rajnikanth’s OSI network model has only one layer- Physical.

49. Rajnikanth does not declare vars. He owns them.

50. All items in linked lists are linking to Rajnikanth.

51. Rajnikanth never gets “data-trancated” error. Instead, his run-time environment logs “variable-extended”.

[abhisays]

एक बार रजनीसर को भारतीय क्रिकेट टीम का कैप्टन बना दिया गया।

जानते हैं फिर क्या हुआ?
.
.
.
फिर भारतीय क्रिकेट टीम fifa और हॉकी वर्ल्ड कप दोनों जीत गई।

[abhisays]

रजनीकांत जब भी प्याज काटते है, प्याज से
पानी की बूंदें निकलती हैं। साइंटिस्ट कहते हैं कि ये प्याज
के आंसू होते हैं।
३. अगर आप सोचते हैं कि रजनीकांत का दिमाग कम्प्यूटर से तेज चलता है तो आप थोड़ा सा गलत हैं। रजनीकांत
का दिमाग चाचा चौधरी से तेज चलता है।

[Awara]

हैंड सैनिटाइज़र का दावा है कि वह 99.9% जर्म्स को खत्म कर सकता है।

लेकिन रजनीकांत जिसे चाहें उसे 100% खत्म कर सकते हैं!!!

[Awara]

एक दिन रजनीकांत ने स्केच पेन का बॉक्स खरीदा...
......................
...........................
.....................................

उसके अगले दिन 'मुग़ल-ए-आजम' कलरफुल रिलीज़ हो गई।

[Awara]

भगवान ने धरती और स्वर्ग बनाने में 6 दिन लगाए।
सातवें दिन...
.
.
.
भगवान ने आराम किया और रजनीकांत को बनाया।

[Awara]

आपको पता है कि मूवी 'डर' में शाहरुख इतना हकलाते क्यों थे?
.....................
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क्योंकि फिल्म में जूही चावला के पीछे उन्हें रजनीकांत का चेहरा नजर आता था।

[Awara]

एक दिन खेत में एक किसान ने कौओं को डराने के लिए रजनीकांत का स्टैचू लगा दिया।

अगले दिन वे सभी कौए इस साल के ही नहीं बल्कि पिछले साल के अनाज भी वापस कर गए।

[Awara]

एक कॉलेज में हर बार क्वेश्चन पेपर लीक हो जाया करता था।
इस बार कॉलेज अथॉरिटी ने इसे रोकने का जिम्मा रजनीकांत को दिया।
जानते हैं, रजनीकांत ने कैसे पता लगाया कि पेपर कहां और कैसे लीक हो रहा है?
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प्लंबर को बुलवाकर।

[Awara]

सिनेमा के क्षेत्र में कुछ ऐक्टर्स बेंचमार्क साबित हुए हैं तो...
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रजनीकांत डेस्कमार्क हैं।

[Awara]

एक बार रजनीकांत को भारतीय क्रिकेट टीम का कैप्टन बना दिया गया।

जानते हैं फिर क्या हुआ?
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फिर भारतीय क्रिकेट टीम fifa और हॉकी वर्ल्ड कप दोनों जीत गई।

[Awara]

जानते हैं?

रजनीकांत के लिए कोई बुरा दिन नहीं होता...

बल्कि,

बुरे दिनों के लिए रजनीकांत हैं

[Awara]

आज से 1000 साल बाद रोबॉट बनाएंगे फिल्म।

और जानते हैं फिल्म का नाम क्या होगा?

फिल्म का नाम होगा 'रजनीकांत'

[Awara]

नाम: रजनीकांत

हॉबीज़: शेरों के साथ खेलना, सुनामी में स्विमिंग करना, ज्वालामुखी पर स्केटिंग करना, कोई शूट करे तो बुलेट को कैच करना, उड़ते हुए प्लेन की तरफ दौड़ना, बिजली के साथ खेलना।

[Awara]

एक बार रजनीकांत समुद्र में दही डाल रहे थे।

उन्हें ऐसा करते देख किसी ने पूछ लिया, 'यह तुम क्या कर रहे हो?'
रजनी बोले, 'लस्सी बना रहा हूं।'

[Awara]

एक बार रजनीकांत को एक कोबरा डंक मार गया।

कुछ देर बाद असहनीय दर्द से तड़प-तड़प कर...
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कोबरा मर गया।

[Awara]

पता है आपको कि रजनीकांत आपना सिगरेट कैसे जलाते हैं?

बेवकूफ! उन्हें लाइटर या माचिस का क्या काम...

टॉर्च से!

[Awara]

रजनीकांत इकलौते ऐसे इंसान हैं, जो...
डेटा ही नहीं, फेसबुक भी पेनड्राइव में डाल लेते हैं और पेन ड्राइव से इंटरनेट ऐक्सेस करते हैं।

[Awara]

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/431918_560407320668815_145195979_n.jpg

[abhisays]

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-PWKZcG0lz80/VJSqbzwce_I/AAAAAAAAKE0/-zaNu69wJZM/s640/blogger-image-162813443.jpg

[abhisays]

When Rajnikant was studying in 3rd std....some1 stole his rough note....&
Now they call it as .............Wikipedia

Crazy people!!!! ;)


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Rajnikant was shot today..
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Funeral of the bullet is tomorrow…:D

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Once a farmer replaces scare crow in the farm with Rajnikant’s statue…

..And Birds returned grains they took last year as well

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This one is best:

Rajinikant got 150 questions in exam paper asking - "Solve any 100 questions"

He solved all 150 and wrote, " Rascalla!, CHECK ANY 100!"

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One day Rajani thought to play cricket in monsoon and rain stopped due to play….

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Tonight at 9 Rajani can be seen in the sky… as he is participating in the Asian Games’ high jump event…

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“Rajnikanth doesn’t breathe…air comes to hide in his lungs”

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“Who says the world will be destroyed in Dec 2012…..Rajnikant just bought a Laptop with three years warranty”…..:P
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Law of Conservation of Rajni


All scientists failed to answer this but rajnikanth did...
Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
Ans: Dosa... mind it!!!
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Once a photo of Rajnikant was given for Xerox. Don’t even try to guess what happened…
We got two copies of the Xerox machine.


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One more:

Once upon a time
Rajnikant used Tooth Powder to get strong teeth

Today that powder is known as

“AMBUJA CEMENT”

[angelnx]

I like your post.
Rajnikant dialog is my favorit.