Laughter is the Best Medicine :.........

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Laughter is the Best Medicine :

The Health Benefits of Humor and Laughter :

Humor is infectious. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any cough, sniffle, or sneeze. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. Laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use :.........

http://www.thesimplehappylife.com//wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Medicine-quotes-Laughter-is-the-best-medicine..jpg

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Laughter is the Best Medicine :

http://slickstiletto.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/laughter.jpg

6 Reasons Laughter is Good for You and Why We Do It,
Backed by Science :


How can something as simple as laughing be good for you? I will admit that I feel great after a good laugh. And, in a house of all males and a husband that could have been a stand up comedian if he chose that route, there are many opportunities to laugh.

But sometimes life is hard and I just don’t feel like it.

Many studies show that their are actual health benefits to the simple act of laughter. I know, sometimes it doesn’t come easy. Let’s dig into the reasons why the experts say it is worth seeking out :.........

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Laughter is the Best Medicine :

http://www.wisdompetals.com/images/health/Laughter.jpg

6 Reasons Laughter is Good for You and Why We Do It,
Backed by Science :

Why Do We Laugh?

It feels good so why do we do it? Cognitive neuroscientist Scott Weems, author of Ha!: The Science of When We Laugh and Why, (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0465031706/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0465031706&linkCode=as2&tag=robysramb-20&linkId=SUIKT7W3X3LKJHVT) looked why we actually do and how it has served us well over the generations.

Weems says laughter and humor help us process conflict in our environment through the dopamine that is released in our brains when we find something funny. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is released in our brain that makes us feel good. It releases tension, increases motivation, memory and attention and helps us process pain management.

So, the more dopamine the better! Lifehacker (http://lifehacker.com/), one of my favorite websites, has a great article on how to increase your dopamine levels easily (http://lifehacker.com/how-to-harnass-your-brains-dopamine-supply-and-increas-1496989326) and naturally :.........

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Laughter is the Best Medicine :

http://www.laughteryoga.biz/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/iStock_000020730459Medium-1-300x199.jpg

6 Reasons Laughter is Good for You and Why We Do It, Backed by Science :

How Can You Study Laughter? :

Through a series of survey and MRIs, scientists have attempted to do just just that. In order find out what makes a joke funny, a German researcher named Willibald Ruch (http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_do_we_laugh) asked subjects a series of questions about hundreds of jokes and cartoons.

Based on their answers, he grouped humor preferences into three types: “incongruity-resolution,” which involves “violating one’s expectations in novel ways;” “nonsense humor,” “which is funny only because it makes no sense;” and “sexual humor,” which is offensive or taboo.

Granted, not everyone finds the same type of humor funny, the commonality in these joke types is that they all involve dealing with surprise and resolving the ensuing cognitive dissonance.

That’s why a joke is funny the first time and usually not the second. You’re expecting it that second time around. :.........

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Laughter is the Best Medicine :

http://hovestressbusters.co.uk/images/laughter5.jpg

6 Reasons Laughter is Good for You and Why We Do It, Backed by Science :

How is Laughing Good for You?? :

“I believe that if people can get more laughter in their lives, they are a lot better off,” says Steve Wilson, MA, CSP, a psychologist and laugh therapist. “They might be healthier too.”

There has not been a tremendous amount of research done on the health benefits of laughter. But everyone knows it’s good for you. You can feel it, right?

Here are some of them: :.........

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Laughter is the Best Medicine :

http://www.redorbit.com/media/uploads/2012/11/BabyLaughterInterview_111312-617x416.jpg

6 Reasons Laughter is Good for You and Why We Do It, Backed by Science :

1.) The Release of Dopamine :

“I’ve said enough above for you to know that dopmaine, and lots of it, is a good thing. I can’t emphasize when it comes to the physical changes that occur in your brain (both good and bad) and how they effect all that we do and think.

Seek out dopamine. You’ll be glad you did :.........

[rajnish manga]

Thanks for starting this thread. Hope we will have a lot of fun here and get information on the subject derived from the fields of literature and science.

[rafik]

1. College – Yaadein
2. Principal – Kabhi kabhi
4. Canteen – Kabhi albida na kahna
5. Course – Godzilla
6. Exams – Kalyug
7. Examination hall – Chamber of secret
8. Exam-time – Qayamat se Qayamat tak
9. Question paper – Paheli
10. Answer paper – Kora kagaz
11. Cheating – Aksar/chupke chupke
12. Paper out – Plan
13. Examiner – The killer
14. Last exam – Independence day
15. Paper correction – Andha kanoon
16. Marks – Assambhav
17. Result – Murder
18. Pass – Ajjuba/ Chamatkar
19. Fail – Devdas
20. Supplementary – Aakhri raasta
21. Vacation – Waah life ho to aisi

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Thanks for starting this thread. Hope we will have a lot of fun here and get information on the subject derived from the fields of literature and science.

1. College – Yaadein
i



http://www.picdesi.com/upload/comment/thanku/thank-you-030.gif

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Laughter is the Best Medicine :

http://wakeup-world.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/How-Laughter-Improves-Your-Memory.jpg

6 Reasons Laughter is Good for You and Why We Do It, Backed by Science :

2.) Decreases Stress :

“Just like dopamine increases are good, there are some hormones that are bad and create stress: cortisol and epinephrine. Laughter actually decreases these and help calm your stress (http://www.discovery.com/tv-shows/curiosity/topics/10-reasons-why-laughing-good-for-you.htm?AID=11413795&PID=7349830&SID=at102799_a129686_m4_p3757_t33&URL=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.discovery.com%2Ftv-shows%2Fcuriosity%2Ftopics%2F10-reasons-why-laughing-good-for-you.htm&ecid=AFF-7975437&pa=affcj&PCID=4184987). These hormones also play a role in the immune system, too. They decrease it. So get rid of cortisol and epinephrine with laughter! :.........

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Laughter is the Best Medicine :

http://healthbenefitsoff.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Health-Benefits-of-Laughter-Yoga.png

6 Reasons Laughter is Good for You and Why We Do It, Backed by Science :

3.) Laughter Decreases Our Blood Pressure :

“They call high blood pressure “the silent killer” because most people don’t know they have it. But laughter can help decrease it, thus increasing your life span. Cool, huh? :.........

[rajnish manga]

Very very interesting. We are waiting for the remaining installments, Dr. Shree Vijay ji.

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Very very interesting. We are waiting for the remaining installments, Dr. Shree Vijay ji.

http://www.orkugifs.com/en/images/thanks-for-the-comment_1457.gif

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Laughter is the Best Medicine :

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSaZ_MJBiPu3d8RpPA3rfCa1_CWjias0 moSdpe9sutu5Cbrp4yg

6 Reasons Laughter is Good for You and Why We Do It, Backed by Science :

4.) We change physiologically when we laugh :

“We work out muscles in our face and our abdomen. A mini workout! Again, dopamine, as well as other positive neurotransmitters (http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/neuro/neuro05/web2/mmcgovern.html), play a key role in this :.........

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Laughter is the Best Medicine :

http://thesimplehappylife.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/baby2-800x675.png

6 Reasons Laughter is Good for You and Why We Do It, Backed by Science :

5.) It Boosts Our Immune System :

“Want to get sick less often? Laugh!

Some studies (http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/give-your-body-boost-with-laughter) have shown that the ability to use humor may raise the level of infection-fighting antibodies in the body and boost the levels of immune cells, as well.

I’ve written about Norman Cousins (http://www.thesimplehappylife.com/laughter-7-health-benefits-why-you-should-do-it-more-often/) before.In that post I also wrote about the benefits of laughter and how it healed him of not one, but two life-threatening illnesses. It is so incredibly important! Dr. Cousins has given me so much hope during dark times. But it was really his groundbreaking work in Anatomy of an Illness: As Perceived by the Patient (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0393326845/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0393326845&linkCode=as2&tag=robysramb-20&linkId=37C7SCAHPXUXPZRG) where he demonstrates how laughter can cure the uncurable.

There is a whole field of study dedicated to this very issue: psychoneuroimmunology.

Don’t take my word or it, Google it! :.........

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Laughter is the Best Medicine :

http://www.quotesvalley.com/images/30/laughter-is-the-best-revenge-for-anger.jpg

6 Reasons Laughter is Good for You and Why We Do It, Backed by Science :

6.) Laughter Boosts Your Heart Rate :

“One pioneer in laughter research, William Fry, claimed it took ten minutes on a rowing machine for his heart rate to reach the level it would after just one minute of hearty laughter. Increasing your heart rate from exercise (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=123108679) (which laughter is!) is good for you!

Laughter is good for you, is cheaper than therapy, and doesn’t have all the nasty side effects psychiatric drugs do! (However, in certain circumstances I am a big advocate for therapy and psychiatric medication to get you through some rough patches you can’t seem to overcome on your own.)

Honestly, I could list a hundred reasons why laughter is good for you but I’ll leave that up to you. If you need more laughter in your life, seek it out. It’s something you’ll never regret you did!

Oh, and one side note: people on their death beds say they wish they had laughed more (http://www.businessinsider.com/5-things-people-regret-on-their-deathbed-2013-12). Don’t be that person !! :.........

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Laughter is the Best Medicine :

To end this post and share in the joy of laughter, here is my absolute favorite clip of all time that keeps me laughing over and over again :

6mWiPaQ872c


यूट्यूब यूजर्स के सौजन्य से :......... (http://www.youtube.com/)

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Laughter is the Best Medicine :

http://www.ivanhoe.com/laughterclub/benefits.gif

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Laughter is the Best Medicine :

http://myhindiforum.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=33172&stc=1&d=1410245602

[rajnish manga]

What is so special about laughter?

Laughter actually changes the physiology of your body so that you start to feel happier. When you make eye contact with someone and you are both willing to laugh, the laughter is multiplied. One interesting thing is because the body doesn’t know the difference between fake and genuine laughter, as long as you are willing to laugh you will experience the same health benefits and the laughter will become genuine Laughter Yoga started in a park in Mumbai in 1995 by Dr. Madan Kataria with just 5 participants, and now there are over 6,000 laughter clubs in 60 different countries – showing the willingness of the world to laugh together.

[Pavitra]

दुनिया का सबसे मधुर स्वर है किसी बच्चे की हँसी , आप चाहे कितने ही परेशान क्यों न हों , चाहे मुश्किल कैसी भी हो पर किसी बच्चे को हँसता हुआ देख के हम मुस्कुराये बिना नहीं रह सकते।


UjXi6X-moxE

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

दुनिया का सबसे मधुर स्वर है किसी बच्चे की हँसी , आप चाहे कितने ही परेशान क्यों न हों , चाहे मुश्किल कैसी भी हो पर किसी बच्चे को हँसता हुआ देख के हम मुस्कुराये बिना नहीं रह सकते।

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjXi6X-moxE


http://www.orkugifs.com/en/images/thanks-for-the-comment_1457.gif

[rajnish manga]

दुनिया का सबसे मधुर स्वर है किसी बच्चे की हँसी , आप चाहे कितने ही परेशान क्यों न हों , चाहे मुश्किल कैसी भी हो पर किसी बच्चे को हँसता हुआ देख के हम मुस्कुराये बिना नहीं रह सकते।



आपके कथन की सच्चाई आपके द्वारा प्रस्तुत वीडियो ने सिद्ध कर दी. बच्चे की हंसी ऐसी है जैसे एक से दूसरे, दूसरे से तीसरे तक पहुँचने वाला संक्रमण. इसका कोई मुकाबला नहीं, कोई नुक्सान नहीं. शेयर करने के लिये धन्यवाद, लावण्या जी.

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

iphone 6 :

Congratulations... iphone 6 launched...
The best feature of iPhone 6 is that if you hold it upside down it becomes iPhone 9.

iPhone users who've been saying, "I love my small iPhone, Android phones are too big for me," all these years... Apple just orphaned you...!!!"

Gujjus will not be affected by iPhone 6 launch... They will continue to flash their iPhone 4S and say: "iPhone Chhe"

With the launch of iPhone 6, OLX is more excited than Apple.... as people will sell old phones, car, house etc to buy iPhone.

Apple is Chinese, all iPhones look the same.

Dear Apple,
iPhone-6 Will Be Priced At 70k...
iPhone-9 Ke Saath Kya Nano Free Milegi ...??

iPhone's are like the Golmaal movie:
Every new version has the same features... but is longer than the previous one..!!!
iPhone6 costs more than the total money Harman Baweja earned from hi Bollywood career...!!!

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

" You and Boss! " :

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you are out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you have one too many drinks at a social, you're a drunken bum.
When your boss does the same, he appreciated women.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked...!!!

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

" Waiting for a Train! " :

Banta is lying across the rail tracks with a bottle of Whisky and a tandoori chicken within reach.

A passerby asks, "Banta ji, why are you lying on the rail lines? A train may comee any moment and run over you."

"Precisely!" answers Banta. "I have no desire to live any longer. I want to kill myself."

"Then why have you this bottle of liquor and the tandoori chicken beside you?"

"Why not?" demands Banta. "You can't rely on trains running on time any more. You don't expect me to die of hunger and thirst, do you?"...!!!

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

" Medical Developments! " :

A Hindu, a Muslim and a Santa were discussing the marvellous achievements of their own brands of surgery.

Said the Hindu, "I know of a Vaidji who joined a severed arm with the use of Ayurvedic glue. You can't even tell where the arm had been cut."

Not to be outdone, the Muslim spoke, "A hakeem sahib has evolved a new kind of adhesive ointment. He used it on a fellow who had his head cut off. You can't tell where the neck was severed."

It was now Santa's turn.

"We have gone much further," he said thumping his chest proudly. "There was this chacha of mine who was cut into two around his navel. Our surgeon immediately slaughtered a goat and joined its rear half to my chacha's upper half. So we have our chacha as well as two litres of milk every day."...!!!

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

" Best Alternatives! " :

Apple iPhone6 in India...
Approx Rs.65k
Other options:
Bangkok Return Ticket: 21k
Stay:10k
Massage: 3k
Shopping: 14k
Savings: 17k
Come back to India and buy any Xiaomi mi3, MOTO G, Asus Zenfone 5, Micromax Nitro, Sony C, Nokia 720.
You still have 4k left for 2 bottles of Jack Daniels at Mumbai Duty Free"...!!!

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

http://media.santabanta.com/joke/visuals/15310.jpg

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

http://media.santabanta.com/joke/visuals/15285.jpg

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

http://media.santabanta.com/joke/visuals/15296.jpg

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

http://i10.dainikbhaskar.com/thumbnail/655x588/web2images/www.dailybhaskar.com/2014/10/04/4666_3.jpg

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

http://i10.dainikbhaskar.com/thumbnail/655x588/web2images/www.dailybhaskar.com/2014/10/04/4669_11.jpg


Thanks To Dainikbhaskar : (http://www.bhaskar.com)

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

http://i10.dainikbhaskar.com/thumbnail/655x588/web2images/www.dailybhaskar.com/2014/10/04/4666_4.jpg


Thanks To Dainikbhaskar : (http://www.bhaskar.com)

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

http://i10.dainikbhaskar.com/thumbnail/655x588/web2images/www.dailybhaskar.com/2014/10/04/4665_2.jpg


Thanks To Dainikbhaskar : (http://www.bhaskar.com)

[rajnish manga]

Thanks for sharing these cartoons on this Forum. Each one of them capable of detonating a laughter bomb.

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Thanks for sharing these cartoons on this Forum. Each one of them capable of detonating a laughter bomb.

http://www.orkugifs.com/en/images/thanks-for-the-comment_1457.gif

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

http://i10.dainikbhaskar.com/thumbnail/655x588/web2images/www.dailybhaskar.com/2014/10/04/4667_5.jpg


Thanks To Dainikbhaskar : (http://www.bhaskar.com)

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

http://i10.dainikbhaskar.com/thumbnail/655x588/web2images/www.dailybhaskar.com/2014/10/04/4667_6.jpg


Thanks To Dainikbhaskar : (http://www.bhaskar.com)

[Suraj Shah]

Nice...

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

http://i10.dainikbhaskar.com/thumbnail/655x588/web2images/www.bhaskar.com/2014/10/25/4104_1356_funny-woma.jpg



सौजन्य से :......... (http://www.bhaskar.com)

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Some jokes dedicated to Arnab Goswami :

Arnab Goswami might probably be the only guy in this world to fight with his wife & win.

If we could place a mini turbine inside Arnab Goswami's throat, the resultant electricity can power all the Times group building.

Arnab Goswami is inversly proportional to Manmohan Singh.

Arnaan Goswami's website says:
Page Not Found!
Now thats the question. The nation wants to know: Where the page is?

If you find Arnab Goswami's pic with his mouth closed, then that camera has a very good shutter speed.

Arnab Goswami is fluent in English & weak in grammer because he does not use full stop or comma.

Imagine playing dumb sharads with Arnab Goswami.

From the moon you can see the great wall of china and hear Arnab Goswami shouting "The nation wants to know."

Proposed airport near Times Now studio cancelled as noise from newshour could weaken the structure and intercept signals.

Arnab Goswami insures his throat & neck for 100 crores.

When Arnab Goswami says "I will speak now", everyone looks puzzled, wondering who was speaking till now.

Whats the similarity between Arnab Goswami & Google?
Both interrupt you before you complete the sentence.

Arnab decided to keep silent on Feb 30th. That day would be observed as world peace day.

If Arnab & Dolly Bindra get married, their kid would be the most advanced sound system ever built on this planet.........




सौजन्य से :......... (http://daily.bhaskar.com/news/JOK-some-funny-stuff-4762701-NOR.html)

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Does this happens with you on salary day??? :

9.00 AM: Beep... Beep...
Msg received... Salary credited to your account.
Me: Yipeeee...

9.01 AM: Beep... Beep...
Home EMI auto debited...

9.02 AM: Beep... Beep...
Car loan EMI auto debited...

9.03 AM: Beep... Beep...
Credit card bill auto debited...

9.04 AM: Beep... Beep...
Phone bill auto debited...

9.05 AM: Beep... Beep...
Electricity bill auto debited...

9.06 AM: Beep... Beep...
LIC EMI auto debited...

9.07 AM: Beep... Beep...
Medical insurance EMI debited...

9.08 AM: Beep... Beep...
SIP EMI debited...

9.09 AM: Beep... Beep...
Your account balance: Babaji Ka Thullu ?.........




सौजन्य से :......... (http://daily.bhaskar.com/news/JOK-some-funny-stuff-4762701-NOR.html)

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Some funny two liners :

If the loser smiles after losing the game, the winner loses the thrill of his victory!!!
That's the power of Smile !!!

Behind every Successful Man there is a Woman....
Because Women don't run behind Unsuccessful Men!!!

'Sympathy'... You can get from Anybody.
But... 'Jealousy'.... You have to Earn it!!!

Drink 5 cups of milk and try to push the wall.
And then drink 5 cups of alcohol and watch... It'll move on its own!!!

Only 3 living beings are immune to cold on earth:
1. Polar bears
2. Penguins
3. Females wearing sleeveless & backless at marriages in India !!!.........




सौजन्य से :......... (http://daily.bhaskar.com/news/JOK-some-funny-stuff-4762701-NOR.html)

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Sunnny Leone in a Sabzi Market :

Sunny Leone: Mujhe Koi aisi Sabzi Do Jiske 7 Phaayde Hon !

Sabziwaala: Ye Lo Madam Gajar !!!

1..: Pasand Aaye Toh Aloo Matar Ke Saath Paka Lena... Warna...

2. Juice Bana Ke Pe Sakti Ho... Nahi Toh...

3. Salad Bana Sakti Ho... Ye Bhi Na Theek Lage Toh...

4. Gaajar Ka Halwa Bana Lena... Nahi Toh...

5. Chinese Noodles Mein Daal Lena... Aisa Bhi Nahi Toh Phir...

6. Murabba Bana Sakte Ho... Aur Agar Ye Bhi Na Pasand Aaye Toh...

7. Achaar Bana Lena !!!

Bhai !!! Jo Tu Dhoond Raha Hai Woh Yahan Nahin Milga !!!.........

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

The After-Effects of Marriage :

A lion was getting married and all animals attended the wedding. Every animal stood a distance and wished then lion.

A mouse came and climbed to the stage and extended his hand to wish the lion.

The lion roared in rage and said, "How dare you come up the stage? Even the tiger is maintaining distance and you climbed the stage."

The mouse replied and after listening to that the lion fainted. What would have the mouse said ??? Any guess???

The mouse said, "Oh shut up buddy, even I was lion before marriage." !!!.........

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Wristbands!!! :

In Korea, when a patient is taken to hospital, a white wristband is placed on their left arm. These wristbands contain the patient's name and information. When a patient dies, a red wristband is placed on their right arm and they are taken to the morgue.

In one particular hospital in Korea, a young doctor was working the night shift. It was around 2 AM when he finished his last operation. He was on the 5th floor and pressed the button for the elevator. The doctor was tired after a long day and was looking forward to the end of his shift. At 2 AM, the hospital was very quiet. Most of the patients were asleep and many of the nurses had already gone home. He entered the elevator and there was just one other person there. He casually chatted with the woman while the elevator descended.

The elevator stopped at the basement and the door opened. They saw an old man dressed in a white gown standing there. The old man was about to get in when the doctor suddenly slammed the close button and punched the button for the 5th floor.

"Why did you do that?" asked the astonished woman.

"I've performed a lot of operations," replied the doctor. "I've seen a lot of people die. When a patient dies, they get a red wristband placed on their arm."

The woman was silent.

"You saw it, didn't you?" said the doctor.

"That old man... That old man had a red wristband on his arm."

"A red wristband....!!!!" said the woman as she raised her right arm. "You mean like this one ?" !!!.........

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

ABCDEFGHIJK!!! :

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!" !!!.........

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Right now !!! :

Nurse: "The invisible man is here for his appointment."

Doctor: "Tell him I'm sorry I can't see him right now." !!!.........

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Adam and Eve !!! :

A child asked his father, "How were people born?"
So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies,
then their babies became adults and made babies,

and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and
she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."

The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family." !!!.........

[Suraj Shah]

All are Funny...

[rajnish manga]

Niels Bohr, Physicist

After receiving the Nobel Prize in 1922, the Danish physicist Niels Bohr invited friends and associates to a celebration party at his country-cottage North of Copenhagen. The event was also well-attended by members of the press. One reporter, noticing a horseshoe hanging on a wall, teasingly asked the famous physicist, "Can it be that you, of all people, believe a horseshoe will bring you good luck?" Bohr replied:

“Of course not,

but I understand it brings you luck

whether you believe it or not.”

[rajnish manga]

Truman Capote, Writer

Truman Capote was fond of regaling people with an anecdote about one of his finer moments. At the height of his popularity, he was drinking one evening with friends in a crowded Key West bar. Nearby sat a couple, both inebriated. The woman recognized Capote, walked over to his table, and gushingly asked him to autograph a paper napkin. The woman's husband, angry at his wife's display of interest in another man, staggered over to Capote's table and assumed an intimidating position directly in front of the diminutive writer. He then proceeded to unzip his trousers and, in Capote's own words, "hauled out his equipment." As he did this, he bellowed in a drunken slur, "Since you're autographing things, why don't you autograph this?" It was a tense moment, and a hush fell over the room. The silence was a blessing, for it allowed all those within earshot to hear Capote's soft, high-pitched voice deliver the perfect emasculating reply:

“I don't know if I can autograph it,
but perhaps I can initial it.”

[rajnish manga]

Sir Winston Churchill
British Politician & Former PM

Nancy Astor was an American socialite who married into an English branch of the wealthy Astor family (she holds the distinction of being the first woman to be seated in Parliament). At a 1912 dinner party in Blenheim Palace—the Churchill family estate—Lady Astor became annoyed at an inebriated Winston Churchill, who was pontificating on some topic. Unable to take any more, she finally blurted out, "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee." Without missing a beat, Churchill replied:

“Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.”

[rajnish manga]

Some insults are so witty and sly that the objects, in this case male chauvinists, may still not know what hit them:

Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses.

—Dorothy Parker

However, some of the "targets" may be witty and sly enough to mount suitable rejoinders, as in this poem entitled "A Riposte to Dorothy Parker":

You're wrong—we'll make passes
At girls who wear glasses
As long as they're lasses
With cute, curvy asses.

—Joseph S. Salemi

[rajnish manga]

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.

—Will Rogers

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

—Will Rogers

A fool and his money are soon elected.

—Will Rogers

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

—Will Rogers

[rajnish manga]

Our own Indian society is not the only one where prejudices against women have often held by the males. An example:

The stupendous epigrams above prove women's brains are every bit as good as men's, as they extract Eve's revenge at the expense of men's prehistoric prejudices. Here's my favorite epigram in this genre:

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

—Charlotte Whitton

[rajnish manga]

Calvin Coolidge
Former US president


In a profession noted for windbags, the 30th U. S. President Calvin Coolidge was a politician of very few words, well deserving the nickname, "Silent Cal" (he once said, "I've never been hurt by something I didn't say"). Coolidge's taciturn style frustrated the many people around him who felt a man of his stature should be more talkative. At a White House dinner one evening, a female guest sidled up to the President and whispered in his ear, "You must talk to me, Mr. President. I made a bet today that I could get more than two words out of you." Coolidge whispered back:

“You lose.”

[rajnish manga]

Edna Ferber
Journalist, Novelist & Playwright


Edna Ferber worked for a number of years as a news reporter in the Midwest before moving to New York City in 1912. After her novel "So Big" won the Pulitzer Prize in 1926, she quickly followed up with the hit play "Show Boat" (so successful and financially remunerative, she called it her "oil well"). Ferber was fond of wearing tailored suits well before they became fashionable. One day, she arrived at the Algonquin Hotel wearing a suit that was very similar to one that the English actor Noël Coward was wearing. Ferber and Coward were friends (she once described him as her favorite theater companion) and Coward saw an opportunity to engage in a bit of playful badinage with one of his favorite people. Carefully looking her over, he observed, "Edna, you look almost like a man." Ferber looked Coward over in a similar manner and came back with a classic riposte:

“So do you.”

[rajnish manga]

John F. Kennedy
Former President



President John F. Kennedy and his father Joseph were once proudly watching JFK's daughter Caroline at play. As they sat side-by-side on comfortable lawn chairs, no words passed between the two men for quite some time. Finally, the elder Kennedy said, "Caroline's very bright, Jack." Then, after a pause, he added, "Smarter than you were at that age." The president adopted a similar thoughtful demeanor and, without looking over at his dad, said, "Yes, she is." Then, after a pause of his own, he added:

“But look who she has for a father.”

[rajnish manga]

Chico Marx

Chico (correctly pronounced "chick-oh") Marx, the oldest of the brothers, got his famous nickname from his penchant for chasing young women (i.e., chicks) early in his life. Although the Marx Brothers made millions over the years, Chico was often in financial straits because of a lifelong gambling problem (his wife Betty insisted that they rent rather than own a home for fear of Chico's losing their house in a card game). Over the years, his interest in the ladies also created a few marital problems. At a club one night, Betty angrily accused Chico of kissing another woman on the dance floor. His defense may not have convinced his wife, but it has pleased language lovers ever since:

“I wasn't kissing her,
I was whispering in her mouth.”

[rajnish manga]

Groucho Marx

From 1950 to 1961, Groucho Marx's "You Bet Your Life" was one of the most popular shows on television. In addition to being a perfect vehicle for Groucho's quick wit, the show featured several gimmicks that became part of television history (a little bird that appeared whenever a contestant uttered "the magic word" and the question, "Who is buried in Grant's tomb?"). Shot before a live audience, Groucho would typically interview contestants for a short while before moving onto the quiz portion of the show. However, so many of Groucho's quips were off-color or risqué that it generally took to up to two hours to produce enough suitable material for a half-hour show. One night, a contestant revealed that he was the father of ten children. When Groucho asked "Why so many children?" the man answered, "Well, Groucho, I love my wife." Marx hesitated for a moment, panned to the audience in his inimitable manner, and then delivered one of the most famous lines never to be actually broadcast on the show:

“I love my cigar,
but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.”

[rajnish manga]

George Bernard Shaw
British Playwright


After the opening performance of "Arms and the Man" in London in 1894, playwright George Bernard Shaw joined the actors on stage to acknowledge a rousing, appreciative ovation. Amidst the sustained applause, a solitary voice cried out: "Boo! Boo!" Shaw looked in the direction of the voice and said:

“I quite agree with you my friend,
but what can we two do against
a whole houseful of the opposite opinion?”

[rajnish manga]

Oscar Wilde
Irish Novelist, Poet & Playwright

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcReRMSUoTlZtzYOSEdZcTG2Zn0oyu1sn s0zXPbn03m3v6rjMzup

In 1882, the 28-year-old Oscar Wilde embarked on a year-long lecture tour of America. During that much-heralded trip, he traveled to more than seventy cities and towns across the U. S. and Canada, lecturing on art and the aesthetic movement to intellectuals in Boston, farmers in Nebraska, and miners in Colorado. With his velvet coat, frilly silk shirts, and patent leather shoes, Wilde looked every inch the English dandy. He also shocked people with his open displays of sensuality (when he met Walt Whitman in New Jersey, the two men greeted each other with a kiss on the lips). Wilde's tour started with a bang on January 2, 1882, when he arrived at New York Harbor. Asked by a U. S. Customs official if he had anything to declare, he famously replied:

“I have nothing to declare but my genius.”

[rajnish manga]

John Wilkes
Radical journalist and politician
(First elected member of Parliament in Britain)

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRvfNLQyImqsyjBj3-07lJ5gaHOHBSpt8EBucFN52w-t18isQ5B


Perhaps the most celebrated retort in the history of wit occurred in a famous exchange between two 18th century political rivals, John Montagu, also known as the Earl of Sandwich, and the reformist politician, John Wilkes. During a heated argument, Montagu scowled at Wilkes and said derisively, "Upon my soul, Wilkes, I don't know whether you'll die upon the gallows, or of syphilis" (some versions of the story say "a vile disease" and others "the pox"). Unfazed, Wilkes came back with what many people regard as the greatest retort of all time:

“That will depend, my Lord, on whether I embrace your principles, or your mistress.”

[rajnish manga]

Brevity is the soul of wit.—William Shakespeare




https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSHfnAf8ayBS9u851SUOo9FEXosOvhWo gUkSAtvo7iewrpztauDdw^https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT-TcX3d4xcoG-OsOitBaJFhghNGZcYO5f3exZBNxC1Ks5NSTffBQ

William Shakespeare and Michael R. Burch
(English Playwright and American Poet)

And while one takes one's literary life into his hands when he attempts to go beyond the Masters, in the spirit of "nothing ventured, nothing gained" please allow me to suggest that:

If brevity is the soul of wit
then brevity and levity
are the whole of it.


(Michael R. Burch)

[harry26]

Best Medicine is when you laugh at High speech.

[Suraj Shah]

Aaj Ki Sachchai :

Yadi Aap Phoolon Pe So Rahe Hain Toh Ye Aapki Pehli Raat Hai;
Aur Yadi Phool Aap Pe So Rahe Hain Toh Ye Aapki Akhri Raat Hai.
Ajab Teri Duniya Gajab Tere Khel.

Mombatti Jalakar Murdon Ko Yaad Kiya Jaata Hai;
Aur Mombatti Bujha Ke Janamdin Manaya Jaata Hai.
Kaisi Vidambana Hain Hamare Desh Ki.

Phoolan Devi Daaku Hokar Election Jeet Gayi Aur Kiran Bedi Police Waali Ho Kar Bhi Elction Haar Gayi.

Kitni Ajeeb Duniya Hai Ye, Yahan Auratein Dusri Auraton Ki Buraiyaan Karte Nahin Thakti;
Jabki Aadmi Dusri Auraton Ki Tareef Karte Nahin Thakte.
Aadmi Sach Mein Mahaan Hai.

Humne 5 Aadmiyon Ko Beer Pilayi Aur 5 Auraton Ko Dove Lagaya.
Aadmiyon KE Chehre Pe Jyada Rangat Thi.

5 Things Jo Khatam Hone Pe Kaafi Problems Deti Hain.
Dosti
Paisa
Pyar
Sunday Aur
Internet Pack
Last Waala Toh Almost Rula Hi Deta Hai.

Puraane Jamane Mein Jab Koi Akela Baith Ke Hasta Tha Toh Sab Kehte The Ki Us Per Kisi Bhoot-Pret Ka Saaya Hai.
Aajkal Koi Akela Baith Ke Hasta Hai Toh Kehte Hain Ki Yar Mujhe Bhi Send Kar De.

[rajnish manga]

Aaj Ki Sachchai :
.....


Great fun. Enjoyed reading them. Following ones are outstanding:

Mombatti Jalakar Murdon Ko Yaad Kiya Jaata Hai;
Aur Mombatti Bujha Ke Janamdin Manaya Jaata Hai.
Kaisi Vidambana Hain Hamare Desh Ki.

Phoolan Devi Daaku Hokar Election Jeet Gayi Aur Kiran Bedi Police Waali Ho Kar Bhi Elction Haar Gayi.

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Aaj Ki Sachchai :

Yadi Aap Phoolon Pe So Rahe Hain Toh Ye Aapki Pehli Raat Hai;
Aur Yadi Phool Aap Pe So Rahe Hain Toh Ye Aapki Akhri Raat Hai.
Ajab Teri Duniya Gajab Tere Khel.

Mombatti Jalakar Murdon Ko Yaad Kiya Jaata Hai;
Aur Mombatti Bujha Ke Janamdin Manaya Jaata Hai.
Kaisi Vidambana Hain Hamare Desh Ki.

Phoolan Devi Daaku Hokar Election Jeet Gayi Aur Kiran Bedi Police Waali Ho Kar Bhi Elction Haar Gayi.

Kitni Ajeeb Duniya Hai Ye, Yahan Auratein Dusri Auraton Ki Buraiyaan Karte Nahin Thakti;
Jabki Aadmi Dusri Auraton Ki Tareef Karte Nahin Thakte.
Aadmi Sach Mein Mahaan Hai.

Humne 5 Aadmiyon Ko Beer Pilayi Aur 5 Auraton Ko Dove Lagaya.
Aadmiyon KE Chehre Pe Jyada Rangat Thi.

5 Things Jo Khatam Hone Pe Kaafi Problems Deti Hain.
Dosti
Paisa
Pyar
Sunday Aur
Internet Pack
Last Waala Toh Almost Rula Hi Deta Hai.

Puraane Jamane Mein Jab Koi Akela Baith Ke Hasta Tha Toh Sab Kehte The Ki Us Per Kisi Bhoot-Pret Ka Saaya Hai.
Aajkal Koi Akela Baith Ke Hasta Hai Toh Kehte Hain Ki Yar Mujhe Bhi Send Kar De.



Outstanding...........

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Break the News Doctor! :

Grandma was nearly ninety years of age when she won 1,000,000 pounds on the football pools. Her family were extremely worried about her heart and feared that news of her large win would come as too much of a shock for her.

"Think we had better call in the doctor to tell her the news," suggested the eldest son.

The doctor soon arrived and the situation was explained to him. "Now, you don't have to worry about anything," said the doctor. "I am fully trained in such delicate matters and I feel sure I can break this news to her gently. I assure you, there is absolutely no need for you to fear for her health. Everything will be quite safe if left to me."

The doctor went in to see the old lady and gradually brought the conversation around to football pools.

"Tell me," said the doctor, "what would you do if you had a large win on the pools - say one million pounds?"

"Why," replied the old lady, "I'd give half of it to you, of course."

The doctor fell down dead with shock.......