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dipu
13-05-2011, 03:44 PM
संता टेलीफोन पर बड़े ही धीरे धीरे बात कर रहा था. बंता ने उसे इस तरह धीरे बात करते हुए देखा तो उसके पास चला गया. संता ने और भी धीरे धीरे से बात करना शुरू कर दिया. कुछ देर बाद जब बातचीत खत्म हुयी..........
बंता " क्या बात है संता भाई इतने धीरे क्यों बात कर रहे थे ??"
संता " यार समझा कर ! बीवी से बात कर रहा था "
बंता " यार बीवी से इतना धीरे धीरे क्यों बात कर रहा था ?? जरूर कुछ चक्कर है ??"
संता " हाँ यार बीवी पडौसी की थी "

dipu
13-05-2011, 03:45 PM
Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh's Place in a Brand New - Red Ferarri.
Banta: Wow Banta, ke gaddi hai (What a car)Kithon laiye (where did you get it from)
Santa:Main highway te lift mung reha se ... Gori Mem aaee te meine kende "want a ride Mr. Singh" I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr Singh. take anything"
Banta is quite excited and asks "tu ke keeta Santa "
Santa: Mian gaddi lai layee. (I took the car)
Banta: Changa keeta kapde tenu fit bhi nahi aane se (good showyou wouldn't have fit into her clothes)

dipu
13-05-2011, 03:45 PM
Santa: Main Ne SANIA MIRZA

Se Phone Par Baat Ki..

Banta: That’s Great Yaar..

Uss Ne Kya Kaha..??

Santa: Uss Ne Kaha..

:

:

:

Wrong Number..

dipu
13-05-2011, 03:46 PM
Once Banta asked Santa, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"

Santa said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

Banta asked, "Can you explain?"

Santa said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."

Still not convinced, Banta asked, "Give me some examples" Santa said, "Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"

Banta asked, "Then what is your role?"

Santa said, "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iraq, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these".

dipu
13-05-2011, 03:47 PM
Banta, a furniture dealer from Ludhiana, decided to Expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Chennai to see what he could find.

After arriving in Chennai he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well Back home in Ludhiana.

To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bar and have a beer. As he sat enjoying his beer, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat.

Before long, a very beautiful young woman came to his table, asked him something in Tamil (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the Chair. He invited her to sit down.

He tried to speak to her in Hindi, but she did not knew Hindi so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, Banta took a napkin and drew a picture of a beer glass and showed it to her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of beer for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bar and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was Packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Banta has no idea how she figured out he was in the Furniture business.

dipu
13-05-2011, 05:14 PM
संता: अगर मैं नारियल के पेड़ पर चढ़ जाऊं तो इंजीनियरिंग कॉलेज की लड़कियां दिख जाएंगी।

बंता: हां फिर चढ़ कर पेड़ छोड़ देना, तो फिर मेडिकल कॉलेज की भी दिख जाएंगी।

dipu
21-05-2011, 05:08 PM
संता ने ब्लेड लिया और अपने हाथ पर अपनी प्रेमिका का नाम लिख दिया लेकिन 5 मिनट बाद संता जोर-जोर से रोने लगा।

बंता (संता से)- क्यों रो रहा है।

संता- अबे, स्पेलिंग गलत हो गयी।

arvind
21-05-2011, 05:13 PM
संता बंता से: बता, मुझमे और तुझमे कैसा रिश्ता है?
बंता: वही रिश्ता है, जो बेसन और पकौड़ी मे है।
संता: वो कैसे?
बंता: जब बेसन सनता (संता) तभी तो पकौड़ी बनता (बंता) है।

MANISH KUMAR
21-05-2011, 05:39 PM
संता ने ब्लेड लिया और अपने हाथ पर अपनी प्रेमिका का नाम लिख दिया लेकिन 5 मिनट बाद संता जोर-जोर से रोने लगा।

बंता (संता से)- क्यों रो रहा है।

संता- अबे, स्पेलिंग गलत हो गयी।

संता बंता से: बता, मुझमे और तुझमे कैसा रिश्ता है?
बंता: वही रिश्ता है, जो बेसन और पकौड़ी मे है।
संता: वो कैसे?
बंता: जब बेसन सनता (संता) तभी तो पकौड़ी बनता (बंता) है।

:lol::lol:
वाह-वाह, मजा आ गया. :cheers:

dipu
21-05-2011, 09:19 PM
:lol::lol:
वाह-वाह, मजा आ गया. :cheers:
:giggle::giggle::giggle: ..............................................

dipu
26-05-2011, 01:50 PM
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says ' CHIN YU YAN' and dies.
Sardar goes to China to find the meaning of
his friend's last words.
It is "YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN PIPE.!!"

The ROYAL "JAAT''
26-05-2011, 06:25 PM
संता: अगर मैं नारियल के पेड़ पर चढ़ जाऊं तो इंजीनियरिंग कॉलेज की लड़कियां दिख जाएंगी।

बंता: हां फिर चढ़ कर पेड़ छोड़ देना, तो फिर मेडिकल कॉलेज की भी दिख जाएंगी।



:clappinghands:वाह मजा आ गया सूत्र जारी रखो भाई

The ROYAL "JAAT''
26-05-2011, 06:27 PM
sardar visits chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says ' chin yu yan' and dies.
Sardar goes to china to find the meaning of
his friend's last words.
It is "you are standing on my oxygen pipe.!!"



दीपू और भी मजा आएगा जब हिंदी में पोस्ट करोगे

dipu
26-05-2011, 09:04 PM
दीपू और भी मजा आएगा जब हिंदी में पोस्ट करोगे


जरुर जरुर ...............................

dipu
09-06-2011, 02:16 PM
तीसरी पत्नी: आपकी पहली पत्नी कैसे मरी?

संता: जहर खाने से..

पत्नी: और दूसरी..

संता: उसे गोली मारनी पड़ी।

पत्नी: क्यों?

संता: वो जहर नही खा रही थी।

dipu
02-07-2011, 02:05 PM
संता और बंता race देख रहे थे.

संता : इनमें से इनाम किसको मिलेगा ?

बंता : आगे वाले को.

संता : तो फिर पीछे वाले क्यों भाग रहे हैं …

dipu
02-07-2011, 02:05 PM
संता: अगर मैं नारियल के पेड़ पर चढ़ जाऊं तो इंजीनियरिंग कॉलेज की लड़कियां दिख जाएंगी ?

बंता: हां, और चढ़ कर पेड़ छोड़ देना, तो फिर मेडिकल कॉलेज की भी दिख जाएंगी ….. !

dipu
02-07-2011, 02:08 PM
Santa is appearing on "Kaun Banega Crorepati (KBC)" with Amitabh Bachchan.

Amitabh: "Santa, you`re up to Rs Fifty lakhs, with one lifeline left: phone a friend. If you get it right, the next question is worth a crore rupees If you get it wrong, you drop back to Rs 3,20,000. Are you ready?"

Santa: "Yes."

Amitabh: "Which of the following birds does not build it`s own nest? Is it
A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."

Santa: "I`d like to phone a friend. I`d like to call Banta."
Banta answers the phone: "Hello?"

Amitabh: "Hello Banta ji, it`s Amitabh Bachchan from KBC. I have your friend Santa here who needs your help to answer the final question. The next voice you hear will be Santa`s..."

Santa: "Banta, which of the following birds does not build it`s own nest?
Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."

Banta: "Oh geez, Santa. That`s simple. It`s a cuckoo."

Santa: "Are you sure?"

Banta: "I`m sure."

Amitabh: "Santa, you heard Banta. Do you keep the fifty lakhs or play for one crore?"

Santa: "I want to play; I`ll go with C) cuckoo".

Amitabh:" Is that your final answer?"

Santa: "Yes." Amitabh: "Confident?"

Santa: "Yes; I think Banta`s pretty smart."

Amitabh: "You said C) cuckoo... And you`re right! Congratulations, you have just won ONE CRORE!"
To celebrate, Santa flies Banta to Ludhiana. That night they go out on the town. As they`re sipping champagne, Santa looks at Banta and asks him, "Tell me, how did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?"

"It was easy," replies Banta. "Everybody knows that cuckoos live in clocks."