PJ thread!!!

[jitendragarg]

Hey guys, this is the thread just made for PJs. So, kindly don't post Pjs as separate thread. All the PJs goes here only. Any other thread created for a PJ will be added to this one.


Ok, so lets start the fun.

Tumse pyaar karte karte hamne kar diya crime....
Tumse pyaar karte karte hamne kar diya crime....
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." 1 is neither composite nor prime"








Agar dava chahiyetoh dhundo koi chemist....
Agar dava chahiyetoh dhundo koi chemist....

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My NAME IS KHAN and I AM NOT A TERRORIST...

[jitendragarg]

yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....
yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak....



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Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK..

[jitendragarg]

Arj kiya hai..

He is KISSING
She is KISSING


He is KISSING
She is KISSING

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* * *Some test missing
* * *some text missing

[jitendragarg]

woh mujhe chod ke chali gayi usse pana mein chahun....
woh mujhe chod ke chali gayi usse pana mein chahun....
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ahun ahun ahun
ahun ahun ahun



mehgai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
mehgai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
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ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh babu...

[jitendragarg]

Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna...
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"BASANTI in kuton ke samne mat nachna...."

[abhishek]

10 PJs on Heights

1. What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip.

2. What is height of Secrecy?
Offering black visiting cards.

3. What is height of Active laziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

4. What is height of Laziness?
Adopt a child.

5. What is height of Craziness?
Getting a black paper Xeroxed.

6. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

7. What is height of Stupidity?
A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

8. What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

9. What is height of Suicide?
A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

10. What is height of De-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.

[abhishek]

Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye?
Circuit: Simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lagane ka!

************************
1980 girls: Maan mei Jeans pehanungi
Maan : Nahin beti log kya kahengey?
2006 girls: Maan mein mini skirt pehanungi
Maan: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan Le!

***********************************************
Narad Muni dharti par madira peene aaye,12 botal pilane k baad
Theke wala: Apko chadhti kyun nahi ?
Narad: Main Bhagwaan Hoon.
Theke wala: Chad gayi saley ko.

***********************************

Teacher to class: " A for?"
Class: "Apple !!!!"

Teacher: " JOR SE BOLO"
Class: "JAI MATA DI !!!!!!!"
***********************************

Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!

***********************************
Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal.

****************************************
Kuri waley Munde nu: Tusi nonveg khandey ho?
Munda: Haan
Sharaab?
Haan
Drugs?
Haan
Jua?
Haan
Sab kuch negative hai, kuch positive ve hai?
Munda: Haanji, HIV+

****************************************
Gal: Is dress ka kya price hai?
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss.
Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.
Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill dadi dengi.

********************************
Sachin’s Daughter: Yeh Kya, Daddy Sixer pe Sixer maare jaa rahe hain Hain?
Sachin’s Wife: Arey beta, yeh toh ADVERTISEMENT Hai !

[sony]

After Rancho suddenly disappears from ICE, Raju and Farhan Decide to call
the world famous CID.

ACP: Ohh MY GODD !!! Rancho Gayab hai !! Abhijeet, Daya...campus ko acchi
tarah se CHECK KARO !! Woh zaroor koi na koi suraag chhod gaya hoga !!
(Shaking his finger)
(After searchin the campus like a pair of buffoons...Abhijeet and Daya find
out that Joy had committed suicide 4 years back in the campus...)

Abhijeet: Sir, Mamla Gadbad hai...Yaha kisi joy naam ke student ne
aatma-hatya ki thi 4 saal pehle. lagta hai woh aatma hatya nahi...khoon
tha...aur shayad khooni yeh rancho hi hoga !!!

ACP: OHH MY GODD !!!

ACP: Yeh joy ki kabar khod ke uski laash bahar nikalo...aur use forensic
lab me leke aao...dr. salunkhe zarur koi na koi baat ughalva denge iss
murde aadmi se !!
(after fredricks does all the digging and brings out the dead body of
joy...and the next scene is of the forensic lab)

Dr. Salunkhe: ACP, bahot jaldi laash laaye tum...isse kuch bulvana mushkil
hoga...lekin tum tension mat lo...tum dr. salunkhe ke lab se khali haat
nahi jaoge..koi na koi raaz toh pata chal hi jayega
(after playin with some colour changing liquids)

Dr. Salunkhe : BOSS...tumne kaha isski maut suicide se hui hai...main kehta
hu..iska khoon hua hai !!

ACP: Salunkhe !!! Mazaak ka waqt nahi hai !!...yeh kaise ho sakta hai??

Salunkhe: BOSS...sab kuch mumkin hai !! yeh dekho...(shows him his
star-trek type computer and does some really fast typing)

ACP: OHH MY GODD !! (still shaking his finger)....toh phir yeh baat hamein
kisi ne batayi kyu nahi ??...ek kaam karo...uss principal ko yahaan leke
aao bureau me...ab kya sach hai..wahi hamein batayega !!
(virus is brought to the bureau)

Virus: Sssir, mujhe yahaan kyun bulaya hai...maine kuch nahi kiya

Abhijeet: sach sach batao...uss raat campus me kya hua tha???

Virus: sssir, main sssach bol raha hu...mujhe kuch nahi pata hai??
(daya gives him his special CHAMAAAT !!!)

Daya: Ab yaad aaya kuch???

Virus: Haan Sir, sab yaad aa gaya...bata ta hu...sab bata ta hu !

Fredricks: (constipated look)..sir..daya sir ke chamaat me toh jaadu
hai...iska 'sssss' kehna band ho gaya

ACP: Fredricks..chup raho !!

Virus: uss raat sab logo ne gay party ki thi....sab log apni underwear me
campus me ghoom rahe the....main bhi tha...lekin mere saath koi flirt hi
nahi kar raha tha...isliye main bahot gusse me tha...phir Joy aaya aur usne
mujhe uska helicopter dikhaya...maine uska helicopter gutter me fek
diya..toh woh rote rote apne room me chale gaya. aur next din humne dekha
toh uska murder ho gaya tha...lekin aap please yeh baat kisi se boliye
mat...college ki badnaami ho jayegi...

ACP: hum kisi ko nahi batayenge...tum hamare saath co-operate karo
(virus leaves)

ACP: yahaan kuch toh gadbad hai daya....aisa kaise ho sakta hai ki campus
me khoon ho gaya aur kisi ne CID ko bulaya hi nahin??

Abhijeet: sir shayad logo ko pata hai...ki pehle police ko bulana
chaiye...CID ko nahi !!

ACP: Aur yeh kaise hua ki khooni campus me aa gaya..aur campus se khoon kar
ke nikal gaya??

Vivek : Sir, shayad yeh bhi ho sakta hai ki khooni koi student hi ho?

ACP: haan vivek...kuch bhi ho sakta hai...kuch bhi (shaking finger)..ek
kaam karo abhijeet...phir se campus me chalte hain...aur acchi tarah se
check karte hain...yahaan daal me kuch kaala hai !!

Abhijeet: sir daal me kala nahi...puri daal mere jaisi kaali hi hai !!
(they reach the campus in their ol' faithful qualis which changes colour
every episode...but the number plate is still the same...and daya slams the
breaks....SCCHRREEEECH !!)

ACP: Abhijeet, Vivek tum pura campus CHECK KARO....Daya tum iss campus ke
saare DARWAAZE TOD DO !!....Fredricks...tum sab logo ko tumhare jokes se
entertain karo...aur main yahaan baith ke apni ungli hilata hu....chalo sab
apne apne kaam pe lag jaao !!
(after checking the campus)

Vivek: Sir, yahaan aiye....yeh dekho...yeh ek chatur naam ke ladke ki diary
mili hai sir...isme likha hai ki woh rancho aur rancho ek dusre ke dushman
the...aur woh rancho se badla lena chahta tha !!

ACP : (shaking finger...as usual)...OHH MY GODD !!! ab yeh Chatur kaun
hai... Good work vivek !!...iss evidence ko forensic lab le jao !

Abhijeet: Haain !!! Sir, dheere dheere sab pata chal raha hai...shayad se
iss chatur ne hi joy ka khoon kiya hoga !! aur rancho kahaan gaya...usse hi
pata hoga !!

ACP: Toh bulao iss Chatur ko Bureau mein...isse hi pooch ke dekhte hain !!
(chatur in interrogation)

ACP: Rancho kahaan hai ??

Chatur : I Don't Know Sir !! Mujhe nahi pata !!

Abhijeet: Dekho Sach Sach Batao !! Hamein yeh diary mili hai tumhare room
se...isme saaf saaf likha hai ki tumhein rancho se jalan thi

Chatur : (over-acting)...mujhe nahi pata hai sir !! maine kuch nai kiya hai
(Daya gives ONE TIGHT SLAP and the chair spins)

Chatur: Haan haan...maine hi khoon kiya tha joy ka...kyonki usne mechanical
helicopter banaya tha project me...aur maine sirf paper ka rocket banaya
tha....boo hoo hoo !! Lekin phir woh kambakht Rancho aa gaya...usne mujhe
dekh liya tha...isliye maine usko bhi gayab kar diya

ACP: waah...kya plan banaya tha...lekin afsos tum CID ke saamne kamiyaab
nahi ho paaye...ab banate rehna plan...JAIL me...Tumhe toh FAASI hogi
FAASI !!

[sony]

Interviewer---" Sardarji where were u born?"
Sardarji----" Sir, in Czechoslovakia"
Interviewer-----"Can u tell me the spelling of Czechoslovakia"
Sardarji----"Sir I think i was born in Goa"

[sony]

1)Mr Black, Mr White, Mr Red and Mr Green were deep in conversation inside a room. Someone from outside called. Mr Black went out to see who it was. After this no one in the room was able to see one another? Why?





Ans: Because it was a black out! (Mr Black was out)


2)When Mr Black came out he saw Mr X waiting. Btw Mr X is a blind man who lost his eye sights in a rainy season of Year 2020 (You understand the pollution..acid rains etc right??). Mr X greeted Mr Black, "Hello Mr Green!".
why?






Ans Sawan ke andhe ko sab hara dikhai deta hai!(Green=hara)

[rahul]

Newly wedded Santa & his wife's
romantic talk.......................

Wife-: wow! hamari shadi ko pure 24 ghante ho chuke hain.
Santa-: Hmm... aur aise lagta hai jaise kal ki hi baat ho

[sudhir]

One solid PJ from my side.

http://i41.tinypic.com/r23h1f.jpg

[jitendragarg]

After Rancho suddenly disappears from ICE, Raju and Farhan Decide to call
the world famous CID.


That one is not a PJ. This is a PJ thread and nothing else is required here. You can post this as a separate thread, or some other joke thread.

[jitendragarg]

Kisi ko na thi mere pyaar ki khabar,

Kisi ko na thi mere pyaar ki khabar,








Diagram galat ho gaya hain rubber de rubber.........

[jitendragarg]

Neil Armstrong lands on Moon & sees two men n askd Who r u?
Reply came: "Camera man Santosh k saath Deepak Chourasiya
AAJTAK"

[abhishek]

yeh tha sahi pj

[sony]

Who is the first Indian woman to fly abroad?

Sita

on Ravan airlines

:gm:

[sony]

Who is Leesa Rey's father??

Baap Rey…

Her Grand Father??

baap rey Baap..!

[sony]

which are the most favourite trees of Colgate's parents?

Think Think…….

Palm trees and Olive trees..

how??

Palmolive is Colgate's Parent company

:what:

[sony]

If you have 100 brand new currency wid you, what will you have?

Guess…

Ans: Soniya Gandhi..
How?
SAU(100) Naya(New) Gandhi(Exists on our Currency notes)

:oops:

[sony]

A married woman spent entire night with a stranger but her mother-in-law did not scold her. Why?

kyuki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi…………


:omg:

[sony]

whats the height of possessiveness?

constipation

[sony]

definitions

1. fashion : lungi with zip
2. laziness : asking for lift during morning walk
3. craziness : getting blank paper photocopied
4. dehydration : cow giving milk powder
5. overconfidence : 99 year old purchasing sim card with lifetime validity

[sony]

Engineering Question

What is 2+2 equal to?

Options

(a)4
(b)four
(c)chaar
(d)iv

this is the reason that it is a difficult degree!

[sudhir]

zindegi ek paheli hai…
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scroll karne se solve nahi hogi….

[jitendragarg]

Sahi PJ dhundhe hai Sony madam. Especially wo sonia gandhi wwala pj to khatarnak tha. Maja aa gaya kasam se.

[jitendragarg]

Engineering Question

What is 2+2 equal to?

Options

(a)4
(b)four
(c)chaar
(d)iv

this is the reason that it is a difficult degree!

Its not so difficult. See, 2 and 2 are both numerical, so the answer should be 4. Quite easy!!! or is it because I am an engineer. :scratchchin:

[DotNet]

Villain tries to rape a girl,tears her Kurti bt fumbles with her salwar. He is unable to open or break the naada..



Voice from background: Thwaa'di maaa di,Thwaa'di bhen di, Ijjat de rakh'waale,PAPPU naade..

:lol:

[DotNet]

Aatma chod gayi shareer purana

Aatma chod gayi shareer purana



Didi tera devar deewana...











Hoton pe "haan" hai , Dil mein "naa" hai



Hoton pe "haan" hai , Dil mein "naa" hai




Shashi Kapoor kehta hai - " Mere paas maa hai"

[jitendragarg]

Villain tries to rape a girl,tears her Kurti bt fumbles with her salwar. He is unable to open or break the naada..



Voice from background: Thwaa'di maaa di,Thwaa'di bhen di, Ijjat de rakh'waale,PAPPU naade..

:lol:

Jabardust.. Waise ye pj to nahi tha.. sardar jokes me post karna tha na. :bash:

[priya]

the cricketer who knows all spiritual songs?

har bhajan sing

[priya]

A movie named Gavaskar is released in Australia. But not even name of SUNIL GAVASKAR was uttered in the entire movie.
Why?
Cos India made a movie – BORDER.
Wherein neither ALAN BORDER nor his name was considered

[priya]

Knock Knock
Whose there
Harman Baweja

No response for 2050 years



Knock Knock
Whose There
Alok Nath

"Sasur Ka Naathi saala…phir aagay Mittha

[jitendragarg]

Knock Knock
Whose there
Harman Baweja

No response for 2050 years



Knock Knock
Whose There
Alok Nath

"Sasur Ka Naathi saala…phir aagay Mittha


Don't get it. What exactly is that second part about??

[abhishek]

An elephant was in love with a she-elephant. But the she-elephant
went and got married to some other elephant. So our elephant was
very depressed. One of his friends felt sorry for him, and took him
to a park to cheer him up. In the park, they sat on a see-saw, but
the see-saw broke. Now, which song would our hero sing?

"See-saw ho ya dil ho, aakhir toot jaata hai.
(eng translation...let it be seesaw or heart...it breaks in the end )

[abhishek]

> Do read it its a very touching story. But its a true story.
> read it..............................
>
>
> A TRUE LOVE STORY...
>
>
> The Best Love story ever
>
> Before reading this please dont think of the person you love A
> true, touching love story that happened in the Jamu &
> Kashmir(border)areas.
>
>
>
> The headman of a big tribe had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love
> with a boy who was an ordinary poor person. When the people of the
> tribe came to know about their love, they did not like it at
>
> all,and so began to protest about it. Now it happened that the two
> lovers left their homes for a happy future.
>
> The people of the tribe started searching for
> the two lovers but they could not find them. At last,they accepted
> their love and asked them in a newspaper to come back.The people said
> that if u both come back we will marry u, we accept that u loved each
> other truly. So in this way their love won and the age old attitude of the
> tribe took a beating.The couple went to the city for shopping for the
> wedding. He was wearing a white traditional dress,and was crossing the
> road when a car came and hit him and he died on the spot.
>
> The girl lost her senses. After a long time she recovered and accepted
> that her love has died. One night she was sleeping in her home with
> her family. Her mother had dream in which she saw a fairy. That fairy
> asked her mother to wash the blood spots of the guy from her
> daughter's clothes as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the
> dream. Next night the father saw the same dream, he also ignored it.
> Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up and
> told her mother about the dream.Her mother asked her to wash the
> clothes on which there were blood spots.She washed the spots but some
> remained. Next night she again had the same dream she again washed the
> spots but some still remained. Next night she again had the same
> dream and this time that fairy gave her last warning to wash the blood
> spots, else something terrible will happen. This time the girl tried
> her best to wash the spots, the clothes tore, but some spots still
> remained. In the evening on same day when she was alone, someone
> knocked the door, when she opened the door she saw the fairy at the
> door. She got very scared and fainted. The fairy woke her up..., and
> gave her an object, That awe-struck girl asked "what is this..? to
> which
>
>
>
> the fairy replied :
>
> ......"kaise bhi daag ho,
>
> jaise bhi daag ho........
>
> Surf Excel hai na..."

[abhishek]

The real torture...

Whats ur personality ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whats ur personality! - chance to know about yourself The chance to know about yourself like your character etc. without spending a money. This test was devised by a famous team of psychologists from a British university.
Here it is.....

Imagine you walked into a small hut by the river in the jungle.
You pushed open the door, in front of you were 7 small beds to the right of the hut, and another 7 small chairs surrounding a small round table.

In the middle of the table was a round food tray with 5 kinds of fruit in it.
There are:

a. Apple
b. Banana
c. Strawberry
d. Peach
e.Orange

Which fruit will u choose?
Your choice reveals about u!




Test results :

a. if you chosen apple: that means you are a person who loves to eat apple

b. if you chosen banana: that means you are a person who loves to eat banana

c. if you chosen strawberry: that means you are a person who loves to eat strawberry

d. if you chosen peach: that means you are a person who loves to eat peach

e. if you chosen orange: that means you are a person who loves to eat orange

PS: If u r hunting for me to Kick me.....well...I am still hunting for the person who sent me this...!

[sony]

Yes, this is a big torture for me... :bang-head::bang-head:

Now I am thinking, why I read this joke?

[jitendragarg]

Yes, this is a big torture for me... :bang-head::bang-head:

Now I am thinking, why I read this joke?

that's what pj is supposed to do to you. Mission accomplished.