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Girl- which computer do u have?
Boy- I have a computer with intel core i7 processor at 3.3 ghz, windows 7, 64 bit, 8gb ram & nvidia gtx 560 graphics card B-)

Boy- which computer do YOU have???
Girl- A PINK ONE !!!!

Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
 

The Deaf Italian Bookkeeper

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated
him out of $10,000,000.00

His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.

It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to
testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10
million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?

Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The
lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are
talking about" The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's
head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown
briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house.

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?" The lawyer replies,
"He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

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xyz: Happy Holi Puneet

me:hey mate. happy holi to you too

xyz:Whats this MATE Puneet?

me: 0h just way of saying dude


xyz: Dude...u usd to cal me Bhaiyya...even ur elder sister is 3yrs younger to me...dnt evr leave ur teachings

me: 0k sir..
bhayia from now on


xyz:Thats what i expect from u?

me:yes bhayiya..

xyz:I really appreciate manners..
U belong to a well mannered n respected family...never ever forget who u r?

me: hey sorry for that bahyiya. i didnt know that it means so much to you..
ill definitely be careful.

xyz:With everybody...coz i knw u bcz of ur fine manners
U r a very good n great guy

me: thanks a lot for pointing out that mistake.. I really appreciate it

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Ek Sharabi Mar Raha Tha,
Ussi Time Bhagwan Prakat Hue Aur Bole: Koi Antim Khwahish?
Sharabi: Prabhu.
Agli Baar Dant Chahe Ek Hi Dena.
Par Liver 32 Dena.

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Boy: My Ex-Girlfriend's Status On Facebook Says: "Standing On The Edge of A Bridge..."

Friend: So What Did You Comment?

Boy: Nothing, I Just Poked Her

Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
 

A Man Goes To See The Rabbi. "Rabbi, Something Terrible Is Happening And I Have To Talk To You About It."

The Rabbi Asked, "What's Wrong?"

The Man Replied, "My Wife Is Poisoning Me."

The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, "How Can That Be?"

The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"

The Rabbi Then Offers, "Tell You What. Let Me Talk To Her, I'll See What I Can Find Out And I'll Let You Know."

The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says, "Well I Spoke To Her For Three Hours. You Want My Advice?"

The Man Said Yes

The Rabbi Replied,

"Take The poison"...!

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Have you ever noticed that when you shout "HEY IDIOT...."!!
.
.
.
.
.
About 10 people turn around ???...

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Found this on facebook, I don't know about its authenticity, but a fun read nevertheless

Albert Eintein's Performance review in 1905 This was during his job as a patent clerk at Bern.


The best part:

1. Describe the employee's duties and responsibilities and indicate the relative priorities of key elements.
This is a patent office, Albert. Your job is to transform written patent applications into clear and precise language, and to study applications and pick out the new ideas of an invention. These are the priorities. Where does it say that your priorities are rewriting the rules of the Universe, unifying space and time, unifying radiation and matter, or demonstrating the existence of atoms?

2. Describe any changes that have occurred in the employee's job since his or her last performance discussion.
None.

Rest of the stuff in the link !

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On a scale of 1 to manmohan singh how long can you play statue?

On a scale of 1 to shashi tharoor how much can you RT?

0n a scale of 1 to arnab goswami how much does the nation need you to fight its causes?

On a scale of 1 to vijay mallya how busted are you?

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Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan