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Humour Unlimited
Humour Unlimited |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Subject - A kya bolti tu
HINDI: A Kya Bolti Tu ? A Kya Mai Bolu ? Sun Suna Ati Kya Khandala ? Kya karu Ake mai Khandala ? Are Ghumenge, nachenge, gayenge Aish karenge or kya URDU AAP KUCH BOLEIN? HUM KYA BOLEIN?? MULAIZA FARMAYEIN IRSHAD TASHREEF LAYEINGI KHANDALA? KYA KAREIN HUM KHANDALA TASHREEF LAAKE?? ARRE GHOOMEINGE, NAACHEINGE, NAGMEIN SUNAYEINGE, TAFREE KAREINGE OR KYA!! ENGLISH: Aye what do you say? Aye what should I say? Listen. Speak on. Coming to khandala? What should I do, coming to khandala? We’ll roam, we’ll loaf, we’ll sing, we’ll dance we’ll freak, baby,what else? SANSKRIT : This is too good Aye balike, twam katham kathisyasi Aye balakah aham kim kathisyamh Shrinvasi! Shrunha Kim twam khandaalaa agchasyasi Aham kim kurwasyami khandaalayeh gamisyami, bhramisyami, nryuthyami, gaayami, maja karishma, kim karishyam. |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Definition Of a Girl:
-The One you just Called Fat; She has been Starving Herself,and She has Lost over 30 Pounds..! =P -The One you just Called Stupid; She has a Learning Disability,and Studies Over for Hours a Night..! =D -The One you just Called Ugly; She Spends Over 3 Hours Putting Make-Up; On Hoping People will Think She is Petty..! :O Moral:Your Words can Hurt Someone,Think Before you Speak |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Sagar ka interview tha
Sawal aya: English mai translate kro MAIN NOKARI K LIAY BHT UMEED SE HON Sagar: I AM PREGNANT FOR THE JOB.. |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Nikku half pant pehan kar Cycle chala raha tha,.
. . .... . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . Toh ab kya woh bhi utaar de..?? Har baat mein joke chaiye.. Jaan Lelo Nikku ki |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
"A Question Asked In A Talent Test "
If U R Married To One Of The Twin Sisters, How Would You Recognize Your Wife ? . ....... . . . . . . The Answer Came: "Why Should I" |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
" Barish Jayega, phir bhi aayega...............
Khushiyaam jayega, phir bhi aayega............... Par is umar main tere danth jayega, toh phir nahi aayega............... isliye ladkiyom ke saamne samhalkar Janaa........................ |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Giri: Aaj prty kyu de rahe ho?
Nikhil: Kal mera scooter kho gaya, bhagwan ka sukr hai ki me us par nahi baitha tha, varna mai bhi kho jata |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Printing mistake in Question paper : " Prove that 2/10=0.2 " is wrongly printed that " 2/10=2 "
Rocking students answered as below, 2 = TWO, 10 = TEN TWO / TEN = WO / EN W = 23, O = 15 (As alphabetic order) E=5, N=14 (As alphabetic order) W+O= 23+15 = 38 E+N= 5+14 = 19 So, 38 / 19 = 2 Hence proved ! |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Teacher : " Jab tu ek jhhoot bolega to tere 5 minute life se kat jayega!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aur jab tu haste samay tere life main 10 minute juda jayega"
Veer : " Toh hum haskar jooth bola toh humari life main 5 minute zyada milega na teacher???????????????????" |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
UPCUMING HORROR MOVIES:
EXAM KA KAHUF - II, TADAPATA STUDENT (fir ek baar), SAITANI BOOKS , SADMA RESULT KA, NEED KI MAUT, PYASA TEACHER, PASS HO NA HO, KASH PAPER LIKHE HOTE.... |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Ek friend dusre se- yaar ab to biwi le hi aao.
dusra friend- main bhi yahi soch raha hun par samajh nahi aata kiski le aaun. |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Read these words, which we some times use & check the meaning
FUNNY WORDS: 1. clearly misunderstood 2. exact estimate 3. small crowd 4. act natural 5. found missing 6. fully empty |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
someone is really.... Waiting for perfect man.....!!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Guess who?? ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Guess who?? ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Guess who?? ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Guess who??! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !Ok khud hi dekh loooo http://5.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.co...c2436b851c.jpg |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Mehekti hawa ye kehti hai pyr karle
madhosh fiza ye kehti hai izhar karle par in gharwalo ko kaun samjhaye????? Kehte hai pehle 12th to pass KARLE........... |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Several men are in the locker room of a golf
club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello." WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes." WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: "$90,000." MAN: "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .....the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000." MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It is really a pretty good price." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!" MAN: "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape..... Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?" |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Secret of a happy married life Once Bips asked Gaurav, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?" Gaurav : "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems." Bips :, "Can you explain?" Gaurav : "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions." Still not convinced, Bips asked, "Give me some examples". Gaurav: "Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it" Bips:"Then what is your role?" Gaurav: "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iraq, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these". |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
The secrets of a happy marriage ... Tools, Internet options, Clear history, Delete files, Delete cookies. |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
THIS MOUSE IS NO MORE * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * http://www.comedy-zone.net/pictures/...0503/mouse.jpg |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Employees of a Software Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in Loud discussions during office time..... Some Trainees, who had just joined,notice this and enquire about what happened to a senior employee, They asks, "What's going on?" "Terrorists have kidnapped our Project Manager(Runal) They're asking for a Rs.500 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to douse him with petrol and set him on fire. We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection." One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... "About a litre." |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
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Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
New generation girl's wish: I don't want any prince charming coming on white horse. I would rather die for a vampire in a BMW !!!!!! |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
A factory had a policy of hiring only married men.
Concerned about this, a local Woman's Liberation Front Leader called on the CEO and asked him sharply, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you consider women as weak, dumb,cantankerous, or do you consider us tantrum throwers, bossy and so on,?" Not at all, Ma'am," the CEO replied."It is because our Policy is to hire staff who are used to obeying orders without questioning,whoare accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut, and put up withanything when I yell at them." |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Ek bar supreet aur lax ki khub pitai hui
kyu Dono Birthday party mai muft ka khana khatey hue pakre gaye, aur puchne par kehne lage : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : "Hum larki walo ki taraf se hai |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Boys ka common sense zero hota hai Kaise??????? Gents toilet me likh kar aayenge "Priya I Love you" Ab kya priya waha padhne jaati hai !!!!!!!!! |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
When no money: Eats vegetables at home When has money: Eats the same vegetables at hotel When no money: Rides bicycle. When has money: Rides exercise machine. When no money: Walks to earn food When has money: Walks to lose fat. When no money: Wants to get married When has money: Wants to get divorced When no money: Acts like a rich man When has money: Acts like a poor man. Man never means what he says and never says what he means !!!!!!! |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
5 deadly questions by wife 1. Are your free this Sunday for shopping? 2. Do I look fat? 3. Is that lady beautiful than me? 4. You love me? 5. You want me as your wife in next birth also? |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started.....
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And that's when the fight started..... My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since." "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And then the fight started... When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily nipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway." And then the fight started, the doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp. My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started... |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
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Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
a machine that catches thieves In the U.S. they invented a machine that catches thieves; they took it to different countries for a test. In U.S.A itself, in 30 minutes, the machine caught 20 thieves; In UK, in 30 minutes it caught more than 50 thieves; In Spain, in 30 minutes it caught 65 thieves; In Ghana, in 30 minutes it caught 600 thieves; India, THEY CAUGHT NOBODY … … … in 15 minutes the machine was stolen. One such machine was imported in Pakistan 10 years ago, Customs not decided ITP value yet - awaiting clearance |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
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Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
In 3 lines, I can sum up everything, I learned About life: It goes on About love: It doesn't last About people: They change fast !!!!!! |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Officer-What Is Your Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir Officer: Tell Me Properly. Candidate: Mohan Pal Sir ... Officer: Your Father’s Name? Candidate: M P. Sir Officer: What Does That Mean? Candidate: Manmohan Pal Sir Officer: Your Native Place Candidate: M P. Sir Officer: Is It Madhya Pradesh? Candidate: No, Munnur Pal Sir Officer: What Is Your Qualification? Candidate: M P. Sir Officer: (angrily) What Is It? Candidate: Metric Pass Officer: Why Do You Need A Job? Candidate: M P. Sir Officer: And What Does That Mean? Candidate: Money Problem Sir Officer: Describe Your Personality Candidate: M P. Sir Officer: Explain Yourself Clearly Candidate: Magnanimous Personality Sir Officer: This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now. Candidate: M P. Sir Officer: What Is It Now Candidate: My Performance. ..? Officer: M.P!!! Candidate: What Is That Sir? Officer: Mental Problems...! |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS,
1,Too Many Questions. 2,Difficult to Understand. 3,More Explanation is Needed. 4,Result is always FAIL! |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Duniya badal gayi hai chatting se
Hoti hai ab hacking chatting se Hoti thi ladkian subah shaam hamari gali mein Nikalna hogaya unka band chatting se Kyunki hoti hain ab to setting chatting se Duniya ho gayi hai bekar chatting se Hoti hain kharab aakhein chatting se Pehle karte hum dost baatein hotelon mein Peetay the chai waghera hotelon mein Khoob hoti thi masti hotelon mein Khelte the mazaa kiya karte the Ab to hoti hai baat to who bhi chatting se Bekaar hogaya hai telephone chatting se Hojaati hai ab voice chat chatting se Pata nahin tha kya matlab hota hai ASL ka Pata chal gaye sare matlab chatting se Ho rahein hain badnam Log chatting se Karta nahin koi angrez baatein humse chatting se Kehtay hain k aati hai English chatting se Main kehtha hoon hogayi hai English kharab chatting se Hoti thi bari dhoom dhaam se shadi Nikah ho raha hain ab chatting se Ab to aisa lagta hai key janab Mohabbat hogayee hai chatting se....!!! |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Kabi kushi kabi gam..
Mere msg na honge kum... Kabi alvida na kahna.. msg karte rehna... Dhoom.. Mere posting padh kar jhum... Phir hera pheri.. Ab posting ki teri bari ... |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
The company has discontinued all physical fitness programs since everyone gets enough exercise by:- jumping to conclusions, beating around the bush, running down the boss, going around in circles, dragging their feet, dodging responsibility, passing the buck, climbing the ladder, wading through paperwork, pulling strings, throwing their weight around, stretching the truth, bending the rules, pushing their luck, shuffling papers, and playing hide and seek. |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Java Interview Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface? A. Terms are different ... nothing more Q. What is JFC ? A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 tier Architecture ? A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres. Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow? A. Send it through courier. Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA? A. As you wish , I do not have any objections. Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ? A. Sorry, Non living things cant communicate. Q. Explain RMI Architecture? A. I am a computer professional not an architect student. Q. What is the use of Servlets ? A. In hotels, they can replace servers. Q. What is the difference between Process and Threads? A. Threads are small ropes. Making a rope from threads is an example for process. Q. What is JAR file ? A. File that can be kept inside a jar. Q. What is JINI? A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend. Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script? A. I will give invitation. Q. What is bean? Where it can be used? A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used. Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ? A. When we sow a binary seed, a binary tree will grow. |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
5 ke bich men 4 likhkar bataao ?
China : Don't joke Japan : Imposible Amerikan : Wrong question Uk : Not on google Indian : Easy "F(IV)E" So proud to be indian |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
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