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18-02-2010, 10:38 PM
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#1 |
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Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 77
Rep Power: 15  |
I love my doctor......
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride' AND..... For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. CONCLUSION Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. 
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Baba Ranchhod das ki jay......... |
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25-06-2010, 11:35 AM
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#2 |
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Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 243
Rep Power: 16 |
Aur bhi cheezain bahut see lut chuki hain dil ke saath
Ye bataya dooston ne ishq furmane ke baad; Is liye kamre ki ek ek cheez "check" karta hoon main" Ek tere aane se pehle, ek tere jaane ke baad"(wah-wah) ================================================== ============ Kash mere dard ki tujhe aise saja mile, Kash mere dard ki tujhe aesi saja mile, audience : ghahere jakhm lagte hai Kash mere dard ki tujhe aise saja mile, Kash mere dard ki tujhe aesi saja mile, Tujhe aayi ho bade jor se SUSU, Aur kanhi karne ki jagah na mile ================================================== ============ Book khulti hai...exam ka sama hota hai. Aise mausam me hi to dimag kharab hota hai. Dimag ki baate paper par nahi ati.. ye fasana to MARKSHEET par baya hota hai !!! ================================================== ============ Usey pane ki koi aas nahi hai audience : lagta, hai gaheri chot khayi hai.... Ki Use pane ki koi aas nahi hai Vajah yeh bhi hai, woh dikhne mai kuch khas nahi hai audience : wah wah... Use pane ki koi aas nahi hai Vajah yeh bhi hai, woh dikhne mai kuch khas nahi hai aur gold medalist hoti to shayad chal jata, kambakht woh ek bhi subject mai pas nahi hai.............. ================================================== ============ Durakht ke paymane pe chilman E husn ka furkat se sharmana... Durakht ke paymane pe chilman E husn ka furkat se sharmana... Ye line samajh me aaye to mujhe zaroor batana ================================================== ============ Tumhare liye main chand taare tod du, Honda city, opel, mecedez tak chod du, Darling itna kaafi hai ya, do char jhuth aur bole du!! ================================================== ============ God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested. ================================================== ================================================== This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog. ================================================== ================================================== Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? A:About 45 pounds!! ================================================== ================================================== Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?" |
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25-06-2010, 11:36 AM
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#3 |
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Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 243
Rep Power: 16 |
================================================== ==================================================
Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2 marry your daughter! ================================================== ================================================== A lady delivered twins. Surprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Because her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows ================================================== ================================================== Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and your parents. ================================================== ================================================== A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly? The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!! ================================================== ================================================== Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Tommy: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl. ================================================== ================================================== msg pe msg bhejte ho bhej bhej kar bheja kharab karte ho bhejte bhi ho to kya bhejte ho khud ka bheja chalta nahi dusro ka bheja bhej te ho ====================== Ae kalam jara abd se chalna mohabat ka paigaam hai teri noke ke neeche mere dilbar ka naam hai ====================== Talaash karo koi tumhe mil jayega! Magar hamari tarah, tumhe kaun chahega!! Jaroor koi chahat ki nazar se tujhe dekhega! Magar Aankhein hamari kahan se laayega ====================== jawani ke din chamkile ho gaye, husn ke tevar nukeele ho gaye, hum ijhar karne me thode dhele ho gaye, aur udhar unke hath peele ho gaye!. ====================== Umeedo ki shama dil me mat jhalana ! Is jahan se alag dunia mat basana!! AAJ bus mood mein the to message bhej diya!! Par Roz intezar mein pallke mat bichana! ====================== Nigahon se dekh liya hota , Tamanna thi agar azmane ki !! Humto yunhein behosh ho jate , Kya zaroorat thi Muskurane ki !! .... !! ====================== kisiko ko mohabat ki sachai mar legi kisi ko mohabat ki gehrai mar legi karke mohabat koi na bachega jo bacha use tanhai mar legi ************************************************** **************** Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya? Banta: Apple khane. Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai. Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon. ************************************************** *************** Santa was riding on a horse, He jumped the red light & a cop whistles' Santa lifts the tail of horse & says, "Le Karle Number Note ************************************************** *************** A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai? Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...! ************************************************** ************** A MAN TO SANTA-UR FRND IS KISSING UR WIFE IN UR HOME HE RUSHES TO HIS HOME AND COME WITH IN HALF AN HOUR N SLAPPED TAT MAN N SAID-HE WAS NOT MY FRND ************************************************** *************** |
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02-07-2010, 11:38 AM
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#4 |
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Tech. Support
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 2,771
Rep Power: 35  |
sony madam, you are one of the oldet member here, but that doesn't mean you can post anything in any thread. if you don't find the right thread, create a new one. atleast we can merge the new threads, but moving the posts to their respective thread is too much of trouble. I hope you understand what I am saying.
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25-08-2010, 03:19 PM
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#5 |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2
Rep Power: 0 |
Reply
This post is very interesting. I would like to visit again.
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26-08-2010, 01:37 AM
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#6 |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 8
Rep Power: 0 |
thank you for this very good jokes
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25-03-2011, 02:47 PM
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#7 |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 5
Rep Power: 0 |
I love my doctor
Like it. Nice option to get refresh in leisure time. I will share this with some of my friends. It is very good.
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06-04-2011, 02:04 AM
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#8 | |
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Special Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 4,760
Rep Power: 27 |
Re: I love my doctor......
Quote:
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Gaurav kumar Gaurav |
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