Mullah Nasruddin Jokes - Page 11

anjaan · 04-11-2012, 04:02 PM

Mulla Nasrudin and his friend were talking about their wives. "My wife is very touchy," said the friend. "The least little thing sets her off." "You are lucky," said Nasrudin. "MINE IS A SELFSTARTER."

anjaan · 04-11-2012, 04:02 PM

Mulla Nasrudin and his neighbour were chatting. "Yesterday, I took a girl to the coke bar in the
afternoon," said the neighbour, "and I paid for that. Then I took her to the drive-in for a hot
dog and I paid for that.
After that, I took her to a movie, and I paid for that. Then I took her to a nightclub and I paid for that. Do you think I should have kissed her goodnight, Mulla?" "NO," said Nasrudin. "I THINK YOU DID ENOUGH FOR HER FOR ONE DAY."

anjaan · 04-11-2012, 04:03 PM

Mulla Nasrudin had listened to the encouragement of a friend who had touted a certain horse
pretty highly. The next day, after the horse had come in last, the Mulla saw the tipster and
screamed, "Brother, have I got it in for you.
That horse you told me to bet on came in last." "Last?" the fellow said. "I can't understand it. He should have been able to win that race in a
walk." "THAT'S THE WAY HE TRIED IT," said Nasrudin, "BUT HE STILL CAME IN LAST."

anjaan · 04-11-2012, 04:03 PM

One day Mulla Nasrudin visited a large department store to buy his wife some nylon hose.
Inadvertently, he got caught in a mad rush at a counter where a bargain sale was going on. He
soon found himself being pushed and stepped on by frantic women. He stood it as long as he could. Then with head lowered and elbows out, he plowed through the crowd. "You there!" said
a woman. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"
"NOT ANY MORE," said Nasrudin. "I HAVE BEEN ACTING LIKE A GENTLEMAN FOR AN HOUR. FROM NOW ON, I AM ACTING LIKE A LADY."

anjaan · 04-11-2012, 04:03 PM

Mulla Nasrudin and his neighbour were greeting each other. "Good morning," said the Mulla.
"You are looking fine this morning." "I am sorry I can't say the same thing for you," said the
neighbour. "YOU COULD," said Nasrudin, "IF YOU WERE AS BIG A LIAR AS I AM."

anjaan · 04-11-2012, 04:03 PM

Mulla Nasrudin came home about midnight and threw himself on the couch in the living room.
He woke his wife up with his clumsiness and she stuck her head out of the bedroom door and
said, "Well, you finally came home.
I guess you found that your home is the best place to be this time of the night." "NOT EXACTLY," said Nasrudin, "BUT IT'S THE ONLY PLACE THAT'S OPEN AFTER MIDNIGHT."

anjaan · 04-11-2012, 04:04 PM

Once, Mulla Nasruddin was invited to deliver a khutba. When he got on the minbar (pulpit), he asked "Do you know what I am going to say?" The audience replied "NO", so he announced "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about" and he left.
The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time when he asked the same question, the people replied "YES" So Mullah Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time" and he left.
Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mullah to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "YES" while the other half replied "NO". So Mullah Nasruddin said "The half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the other half" and he left!

anjaan · 06-11-2012, 06:45 AM

"You ought to stand on your two feet and show your wife who is running things at your house,"
a big, bossy fellow said to his friend, Mulla Nasrudin. "THERE IS NO NEED TO," said Nasrudin,
"SHE ALREADY KNOWS."

anjaan · 06-11-2012, 06:45 AM

The stranger was talking in the tavern. "For fifteen years," he said, "my habits were as regular
as clockwork. I rose exactly at six. Half an hour later I was at breakfast. At seven I was at
work. I had lunch at one, and supper at six, and was in bed at nine-thirty. I ate only plain food,
and didn't have a day of sickness during all those years." "MY," said Mulla Nasrudin who was
listening to the story, "AND WHAT WERE YOU IN JAIL FOR?"

anjaan · 06-11-2012, 06:45 AM

Mulla Nasrudin had been arrested for stealing a hog. The trial was short and sweet. There was
no concrete evidence against the Mulla and the judge dismissed the case against him. But for
some reason the Mulla seemed not to understand. "The case is dismissed," the judge said, "It is
over. You are acquitted. You can go." "WELL, THANKS, JUDGE," said Nasrudin. "BUT DO I HAVE
TO GIVE HIM BACK HIS HOG?"

04-11-2012, 04:02 PM	#101
anjaan Special Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Jhumri Tillaiya Posts: 2,429 Rep Power: 21	Re: Mullah Nasruddin Jokes Mulla Nasrudin and his friend were talking about their wives. "My wife is very touchy," said the friend. "The least little thing sets her off." "You are lucky," said Nasrudin. "MINE IS A SELFSTARTER."

04-11-2012, 04:02 PM	#102
anjaan Special Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Jhumri Tillaiya Posts: 2,429 Rep Power: 21	Re: Mullah Nasruddin Jokes Mulla Nasrudin and his neighbour were chatting. "Yesterday, I took a girl to the coke bar in the afternoon," said the neighbour, "and I paid for that. Then I took her to the drive-in for a hot dog and I paid for that. After that, I took her to a movie, and I paid for that. Then I took her to a nightclub and I paid for that. Do you think I should have kissed her goodnight, Mulla?" "NO," said Nasrudin. "I THINK YOU DID ENOUGH FOR HER FOR ONE DAY."

04-11-2012, 04:03 PM	#103
anjaan Special Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Jhumri Tillaiya Posts: 2,429 Rep Power: 21	Re: Mullah Nasruddin Jokes Mulla Nasrudin had listened to the encouragement of a friend who had touted a certain horse pretty highly. The next day, after the horse had come in last, the Mulla saw the tipster and screamed, "Brother, have I got it in for you. That horse you told me to bet on came in last." "Last?" the fellow said. "I can't understand it. He should have been able to win that race in a walk." "THAT'S THE WAY HE TRIED IT," said Nasrudin, "BUT HE STILL CAME IN LAST."

04-11-2012, 04:03 PM	#104
anjaan Special Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Jhumri Tillaiya Posts: 2,429 Rep Power: 21	Re: Mullah Nasruddin Jokes One day Mulla Nasrudin visited a large department store to buy his wife some nylon hose. Inadvertently, he got caught in a mad rush at a counter where a bargain sale was going on. He soon found himself being pushed and stepped on by frantic women. He stood it as long as he could. Then with head lowered and elbows out, he plowed through the crowd. "You there!" said a woman. "Can't you act like a gentleman?" "NOT ANY MORE," said Nasrudin. "I HAVE BEEN ACTING LIKE A GENTLEMAN FOR AN HOUR. FROM NOW ON, I AM ACTING LIKE A LADY."

04-11-2012, 04:03 PM	#105
anjaan Special Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Jhumri Tillaiya Posts: 2,429 Rep Power: 21	Re: Mullah Nasruddin Jokes Mulla Nasrudin and his neighbour were greeting each other. "Good morning," said the Mulla. "You are looking fine this morning." "I am sorry I can't say the same thing for you," said the neighbour. "YOU COULD," said Nasrudin, "IF YOU WERE AS BIG A LIAR AS I AM."

04-11-2012, 04:03 PM	#106
anjaan Special Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Jhumri Tillaiya Posts: 2,429 Rep Power: 21	Re: Mullah Nasruddin Jokes Mulla Nasrudin came home about midnight and threw himself on the couch in the living room. He woke his wife up with his clumsiness and she stuck her head out of the bedroom door and said, "Well, you finally came home. I guess you found that your home is the best place to be this time of the night." "NOT EXACTLY," said Nasrudin, "BUT IT'S THE ONLY PLACE THAT'S OPEN AFTER MIDNIGHT."

04-11-2012, 04:04 PM	#107
anjaan Special Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Jhumri Tillaiya Posts: 2,429 Rep Power: 21	Re: Mullah Nasruddin Jokes Once, Mulla Nasruddin was invited to deliver a khutba. When he got on the minbar (pulpit), he asked "Do you know what I am going to say?" The audience replied "NO", so he announced "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about" and he left. The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time when he asked the same question, the people replied "YES" So Mullah Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time" and he left. Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mullah to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "YES" while the other half replied "NO". So Mullah Nasruddin said "The half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the other half" and he left!

06-11-2012, 06:45 AM	#108
anjaan Special Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Jhumri Tillaiya Posts: 2,429 Rep Power: 21	Re: Mullah Nasruddin Jokes "You ought to stand on your two feet and show your wife who is running things at your house," a big, bossy fellow said to his friend, Mulla Nasrudin. "THERE IS NO NEED TO," said Nasrudin, "SHE ALREADY KNOWS."

06-11-2012, 06:45 AM	#109
anjaan Special Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Jhumri Tillaiya Posts: 2,429 Rep Power: 21	Re: Mullah Nasruddin Jokes The stranger was talking in the tavern. "For fifteen years," he said, "my habits were as regular as clockwork. I rose exactly at six. Half an hour later I was at breakfast. At seven I was at work. I had lunch at one, and supper at six, and was in bed at nine-thirty. I ate only plain food, and didn't have a day of sickness during all those years." "MY," said Mulla Nasrudin who was listening to the story, "AND WHAT WERE YOU IN JAIL FOR?"

06-11-2012, 06:45 AM	#110
anjaan Special Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Jhumri Tillaiya Posts: 2,429 Rep Power: 21	Re: Mullah Nasruddin Jokes Mulla Nasrudin had been arrested for stealing a hog. The trial was short and sweet. There was no concrete evidence against the Mulla and the judge dismissed the case against him. But for some reason the Mulla seemed not to understand. "The case is dismissed," the judge said, "It is over. You are acquitted. You can go." "WELL, THANKS, JUDGE," said Nasrudin. "BUT DO I HAVE TO GIVE HIM BACK HIS HOG?"