Mullah Nasruddin Jokes

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin was telling his friends in the tavern one day about his family. "Nine boys," he said, "and all good, except Abdul. HE LEARNED TO READ."

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin came home and was told by his wife that the cook had quit. "Again?" moaned
the Mulla. "What was the matter this time?" "You were!" said his wife. "She said you used insulting language to her over the phone this morning." "GOOD GRIEF! " said Nasrudin. "I AM
SORRY, I THOUGHT I WAS TALKING TO YOU. "

[anjaan]

The bus was crowded when the little old lady got on, and Mulla Nasrudin stood up. She pushed
the Mulla back gently and said, "No, thanks." Nasrudin tried to rise again and she pushed him
back a second time. Finally, Nasrudin said to her, "PLEASE LET ME GET UP, LADY, I AM TWO BLOCKS PAST MY S NOW."

[anjaan]

A member of the finance committee called on Mulla Nasrudin. "I am calling about the yearly
contribution to the fund for converting the heathen," he said. "last year you gave a rupee."
"WHAT!" said Nasrudin in surprise "HAVEN'T YOU CONVERTED THEM YET?"

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin lived far beyond his means and was constantly hounded by his creditors. But he
was so used to them that their presence caused him no distress. In fact, he treated them with
the utmost courtesy. Once he even served a bill collector champagne. "If you cannot afford to
pay your debts," the bill collector demanded, "how can you afford to serve champagne?"
"DON'T GET SORE," said Nasrudin, "I ASSURE YOU, THIS HASN'T BEEN PAID FOR EITHER,
SIR."

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin had been working day and night throughout his district in a life or death
struggle for reelection. He was relaxing one evening, following a speech, in the home of a
friend. "I have heard your speeches," his friend said, "but I think the real question is what will
you do if you are reelected." "NO," said Nasrudin, "THE REAL QUESTION IS WHAT WILL I DO IF
I AM NOT."

[anjaan]

A young preacher was just getting acquainted with his duties. One of his first chores was to
visit the hospital where Mulla Nasrudin, a member of his flock, was confined as a result of an
automobile accident. The Mulla had been seriously injured: a broken leg, both arms broken, a
broken collar bone, terrible cuts over his face and head, and several broken ribs. He was so thoroughly bandaged and taped and strapped up that only his two eyes and mouth were
showing. The young preacher was at a loss for words, but realized that he must say something,
so he asked the Mulla: "How do you feel today? I suppose all of those broken bones and cuts
cause a great deal of pain.
Do you suffer very much?" "NO, NOT MUCH," said Nasrudin, "ONLY WHEN I LAUGH."

[anjaan]

A neighbour comes to the gate of Nasreddin Hoja's yard. The Hoja goes out to meet him outside.
"Would you mind, Hoja," the neighbour asks, "lending me your donkey today? I have some goods to transport to the next town."
The Hoja doesn't feel inclined to lend out the animal to that particular man, however;
so, not to seem rude, he answers: "I'm sorry, but I've already lent him to somebody else."

Suddenly the donkey can be heard braying loudly behind the wall of the yard.
"You lied to me, Hoja!" the neighbour exclaims. "There it is behind that wall!"

"What do you mean?" the Hoja replies indignantly. "Whom would you rather believe, a donkey or your Hoja?"

[anjaan]

A friend was visiting Mulla Nasrudin. "My boy has just written me from jail," he said. "He says
they're going to cut six months off his sentence for good behaviour." "MY," said Mulla Nasrudin.
"YOU MUST BE PROUD TO HAVE A SON LIKE THAT."

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin walked into a psychiatrist's office, opened a tobacco pouch, and stuffed his nose
with tobacco. "Man, I can see that you need me," the psychiatrist said. "Come on in and tell me
your problem." "MY ONLY PROBLEM IS," said Nasrudin, "I NEED A LIGHT."