Punography

[internetpremi]

The grammarian was very logical. He had a lot of comma sense.

The most popular operation for orthopaedic surgeons is upper-leg surgery: very hip.

My new girlfriend and I are moving together into a tree house, I hope we won't fall out.

A no-fly zone prohibits zippers.

The landscaper thought gardening magazines were fun to leaf through.

The soprano was very optimistic and always left her friends on a high note.

The futile search for magnetite became a wild gauss chase.

I really wanted a camouflage shirt, but I couldn't find one.

Issue of first day cover almost ended in a stampede.

[rajnish manga]

Groucho Marx used many one-liners in his comedy. Here are a few:


“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”


“I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.”


“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”

[internetpremi]

I like wool gathering for the shear joy of it.

Rental agents offer quarters for dollars.

I was caught studying the periodic table in English class. It was an elementary mistake.

I always believed my body was a prison for me. I was right, in biology I learnt they were made of cells.

Masks have no face value!

Obituaries of those hanged in the old west used to be posted in the noose paper.

I fired the floor refinishers. They simply could not hold their lacquer.

The movie about the mobile home was advertised with a trailer.

The charges of the otolaryngologist was exorbitant, I had to pay through the nose!

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Nice Pun.....................

[internetpremi]

Some clockmakers are normal, but others are a little cuckoo.

The exhibitionist went to the store because he heard they were having a flash sale.

The politician is not one for Indian food. But he's good at currying favors.

My pet turtle died. I'm not upset, just shell shocked.

I went to the theatre, it looked a bit suspicious. I reckon the whole thing was staged.

The ophthalmologist was called to testify because he was the only eye witness.


I'm a secret hoarder. I've kept that to myself.
What do you call a spittoon in a wine bar? Grape expectorations.


The cemetery is the dead centre. It's where the local bodies meet.

[internetpremi]

The two geologists lived only a stone's throw apart.

Historians have extra-century perception.

My cartography job is really going to put me on the map.

My wife's dad spends a lot of time in the bathroom. He is my Father in Loo.

My friend was fired from his job at the road department for stealing. I have to say I saw it coming. The last
time I was at his house all the signs were there.

The comedian stopped at the fabric store on his way to a comedy gig. He was looking for new material.

[internetpremi]

The thought of losing the pandas is just unbearable.

I would have kept ironing clothes but I was exhausted and ran out of steam.

I was in court today with the airline over missing luggage. They lost the case.

My doctor told me to cut down on sodium, but I’m taking his advice with a pinch of salt.

I entered a competition with a paint catapult and won with flying colours.

[internetpremi]

Can a physicist read the periodic table? Isotope so.

Some people take beautiful pictures and cut them into pieces. That's a puzzle to me.

How does the earth get clean? It takes a meteor shower!

Because they moved into an apartment, they didn't need to cut the grass any mow.

Philosophers are very Hume-orous people.

At breakfast, the hacker downloaded cornflakes via his cereal port.

When I learned what the gun lobby was doing, I went ballistic!

[internetpremi]

Presently, I work in landscaping compressing sand. It's just a tamp job.

Why do seagulls live near the sea? If they lived near the bay, they'd be bagels.

What is a mosquito's favorite sport? Skin-diving.

Even though the river has a bed, it won't stop running.

Walking in a Circle is pointless

Never trust an Atom. They make up everything.
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[internetpremi]

Here is my favourite quote on the digit "2"
Some of the readers will perhaps not understand this.
Those with some elementary knowledge of computer science or with exposure to software and computers will easily understand this.
I have embedded hints in red for quicker understanding.
===============

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that understand binary, and those that don't.