Humour Unlimited

[abhisays]

Wife - RAEES Dekhne chalein ?
Husband - Main us KAABIL nahi

Wife- Toh KAABIL chalein
Husband- Main Utna RAEES nahi
..........
Baad mein ghar me bacchon ne DANGAL dekha

[abhisays]

Socio-Economic classification simplified

Lower class - Biskut
Middle class - Biskit
Upper class - Cookies

Lower class - Roomal
Middle class - Hankie
Upper class - Kerchief

Lower class - tamaatar
Middle class - Ta'may'to
Upper class - Toh'mah'toh

Lower class - Sauce
Middle class - Ketchup
Upper Class - Toh'mah'toh dip

Lower class - Lifafa
Middle class - En've'lope
Upper class - On'vo'lup

Lower class - Nimbu Paani/Shikanji
Middle class - Lemonade
Upper class - Virgin Mojito

Lower class - Jean pant
Middle class - Jeans
Upper class - Denims

Lower class - Chasma
Middle class - Goggles
Upper class - Shades

Lower class - chaddi
Middle class - underwear
Upper class - lawn-juh-Ray

Lower class : Do cutting chai leke aa bé Pintu.
Middle class : Can I have two cups of tea.
Upper class : May I have two chai lattes please. Regular.

[abhisays]

A hyderabadi Kanjoos Husband on a day out with Wife...

Wife: meraku bohat pyaas lagri, ek pani ka bottle khareed do miya...

Husband: Biryaani khatey kya ?

Wife: Yummmm , naam sunkar muh mein paani aa gaya miya...

Husband: To phir woich paani peele, bottol kaiku...

[abhisays]

An unemployed engineer graduate was looking out for a suitable job in his stream. He attended several exams and many personal interviews, only to be rejected. . . . .
Being fed up after so many months of his job hunt, he decided to get into any job that can satisfy his food and daily needs. . . . . .
He visited a circus group and asked for a job. But the owner said that there wasn't any job for his education level. Also he said that there is a vacancy to act as a monkey and perform funny actions. The unemployed youth accepted the offer since he can at least afford his daily food. . . . . .
So he dressed up as a monkey and entertained the audience. One day while he was performing the monkey skills, he accidentally fell into the lion's ring. . . . .
Everyone was shocked as the monkey fell into lion's ring. No one knew that he was a man dressed up as a monkey. The man himself was dreadful and feared for his life. He felt pity for himself as he going to be a victim of unemployment. . . . . . . . . .

The lion came closer to him but didn't attack. He was surprised. The lion whispered, "Are Abdul....ghabra nakko...!! main pasha. 2008 batch... Electronics.." ("hey! Abdul.. Don't be afraid..!! I am pasha. 2008 Electronics Batch").

[abhisays]

HR - There is a 2 years gap on your CV!
Candidate - I was in jail
HR - Why?
Candidate:- I killed the guy who told me : "we'll call you back"
HR :- Welcome on board, you have the Job

[rajnish manga]

Trial To Avoid An Error

A Texan paid a visit to Galway, Ireland. He enters a pub and raises his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He shouts, 'I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinkin' fools. I'll give 500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back to back.'

The room is quiet and no one takes of the Texan's offer.

Paddy Murphy gets up and leaves the bar. Thirty minutes later, he shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. Is your bet still good?' asks Paddy.

The Texan answers, 'Yes, 'and he orders the barman to line up 10 pints of Guinness.

Immediately, Paddy downs all 10 pints of beer, drinking them all back to back. The other pub patrons cheer and the Texan sits down in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and asks, 'If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?'
Paddy Murphy replies, 'Oh................... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.'