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18-09-2011, 11:54 AM
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#131 |
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Administrator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 16,772
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Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Apni Profile ke bojh tale daba jaa raha hai, Wo dekho ek Chartered Accountant ja raha hai, Zindagi se hara hua hai,Par " Balance sheet Tally " karne se haar nahi manata, Apne excel sheet ki ek ek line ise rati hui hai, Par aaj kaun se rang ke moje pehne hain, ye nahi janata, Din par din ek excel file banata ja raha hai Wo dekho ek Chartered Accountant ja raha hai, Das hazaar line ki file main error dhoond lete hain lekin, Majboor dost ki ankhon ki nami dikhayi nahi deti, PC pe hazaar windows khuli hain, Par dil ki khidki pe koi dastak sunayi nahi deti, Satuday-sunday nahata nahi, week days ko naha raha hai, Wo dekho ek Chartered Accountant ja raha hai, linking karte karte pata hi nahi chala, "Excel" ki priority kab maa-baap se high ho gayi, Kitabon main gulab rakhne wala , cigerette ke dhuyen main kho gaya, Dil ki zameen se armaanon ki vidayi ho gayi, Weekends pe daroo peke jo jashna mana raha hai, Wo dekho ek Chartered Accountant ja raha hai, Maze lena ho iske to pooch lo, "Salary Increment" ki party kab dila rahe ho, Hansi udana ho to pooch lo, "Leave" pe kab ja rahe ho? Wo dekho Leave se laute team-mate ki chocolates kha raha hai, Wo dekho ek Chartered Accountant ja raha hai, Kharche badh rahe hain, Baal kam ho rahe hain, Income Tax ke sitam ho rahe hain, Lo phir se bus choot gayi, Auto se aa raha hai, Wo dekho ek Chartered Accountant ja raha hai, Pizza gale se nahi utarta, To "Coke" ke sahare nigal liya jata hai, Office ki "Thali" dekh munh hai bigadta, Maa ke hath ka wo khana baar roz yaad ata hai, "Sprout bhel" bani hai phir bhi, free "Evening Snacks" kha raha hai, Wo dekho ek Chartered Accountant ja raha hai, Aapne ab tak li hongi bahut si chutikiya, Chartered Accountant ke jivan ka sach batati ye akhri kuch panktiyan, Hazaron ki tankhwah wala, company ki karodon ki jeb bharta hai, Chartered Accountant wahi ban sakta hai, jo lohe ka jigar rakhta hai, Hum log jee jee ke marte hain , zindagi hai kuch aisi, Ek fauj ki naukri, doosri Chartered Accountant ki , dono ek jaisi, Is kavita ka har shabd mere dil ki gehrayi se aa raha hai, Wo dekho ek Chartered Accountant ja raha hai .......... |
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18-09-2011, 11:55 AM
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#132 |
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Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 16,772
Rep Power: 137 |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Ladkiyon Ki Kahani - Bechare boys - Funny
LADKIYON KI KAHANI : If v treat her nice she says "yaar mujhe line de raha hai" If v dont she says "kitna akarta hai" If v dress nicely she says "mujhe impress karna chahta hai" If v dont she says "tasteless hai yaar" If v argue with her she says "ziddi hai" If v sit quietly she says "dumb hai" If v act smarter she'll lose her brain as u r insulting her If she acts smarter she thinks its her right If v dont love her she says "is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai" If v love her she says "peechhe hi pad gayaa hai" If v dont tell her ur prob she says " u r not honest 2 me" If u do tell to her she says "u r a problem child" If v scold her she says "you act like a grandpa giving lecture" If she scolds us she says "Yaar, its becoz i care" If v break a promise she says "She does not trust u any more" If she breaks she says "jaan main majboor thi.... ladkiyan re ladkiya . . bechare boys itna sab seh ke b chup chap rehte ....!!!!!!!!!! |
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18-09-2011, 11:56 AM
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#133 |
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Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 16,772
Rep Power: 137 |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Comic version of Ye daulat bhi le lo Lyrics
Yeh degree bhi lelo, ye naukari bhi lelo, Bhale Chheen lo mujhse USA ka Visa............ magar mujhko lauta do college ka canteen, vo chaay ka paani vo teeKha samosaa.......... kadi dhoop mein apne ghar se nikalnaa, vo project ki Khatir shahar bhar bhataknaa, vo lecture mein doston ki proxy lagaanaa, vo sir ko chidhanaa ,vo aeroplane udaanaa, vo submission ki raton ko jagnaa jagaanaa, vo orals ki kahani vo practical ka Kissaa..... bimaari ka reason de ke time badhanaa, vo doosron ke assignments ko apnaa banaanaa, vo seminar ke din paironka chhatpatanaa, vo workshop mein din raat pasinaa bahanaa, vo exam ke din ka bechain maahaul, par vo maa ka vishvas - Teachar ka Bharosaa..... vo pedon ke neeche gappe ladanaa, vo raaton mein drawing sheets banaanaa, vo exams ke akhari din theatre mein jaanaa, ! vo bhole se freshers ko hamesha sataanaa, without any reason common off pe jaanaa, test ke waqt table mein kitabon ko rakhnaa, isi tarah teachers ko dena Jhansaa......... college ki sabse purani nishaanee, vo chaaywala jise saare kehte the... jaani, vo jaani ke hathon ki 'cutting' chaay meethee, vo chupkese journal mein bheji hui chitthi, vo padh tehi chiththi uska bhadakna, vo chehre ki laali vo aankhon ka Gussaa...... college ki wo saari lambisi raatein, vo doston se canteen mein pyaari si baatein, vo gathering ke din ka ladnaa Jhagadnaa, vo ladkiyon ka yuhin hamesha akadnaa, bhulaaye nahin bhool sakta hai koi, vo college, vo batein, vo shararatein vo javani... ka ash hum phir dohra sakte kahani...... vo kagaz ki k ashti vo barish ka pani. |
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18-09-2011, 11:56 AM
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#134 |
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Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 16,772
Rep Power: 137 |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Engineer ki dastan - A Poem on an Engineer!
Engineer ki dastan - A Poem on an Engineer! Engineer woh hain jo aksar phasta hain Interviews ke sawaal mey Badi companiyon ke jaal mey Boss aur client ke bawaal mey Engineer woh hain jo pak gaya hain Meetings ki jhelai mey Submissions ki gehraai mey Teamwork ki chataai mey Engineer woh hain jo laga rehta hain Schedule ko failane mey Targets ko khiskaane mey Roz naye-naye bahaane banane mey Engineer woh hain jo lunch time mey Breakfast karta hain Dinner time mey Lunch karta hain aur Commutation ke waqt soya karta hain Engineer woh hain jo paagal hain Chai aur samose ke pyaar mey Cigarette ke khumaar mey Birdwatching ke vichaar mey Engineer woh hain jo khoya hain Reminders ke jawaab mey Na milne waale hisaab mey Behtar Bhavishya ke khwaab mey Engineer woh hain jise intezaar hain Weekend nights par dhoom machaane ka Boss ke chutti par jaane ka Increment ki khabar aane ka Engineer woh hain jo sochta hain Kaash padhaai par dhyaan diya hota Kaash teacher se panga na liya hota Kaash ishq na kiya hota.... Kaash.... |
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18-09-2011, 11:57 AM
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#135 |
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Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 16,772
Rep Power: 137 |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Love Letter in Q/A format
A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it. A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate. My Dearest Ishaa, Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options (A) 10 marks, (b) 5marks and (c) 3 marks. ********** 1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because: (a) of love (b) you couldn't control seeing me (c) really ... Am I doing it? ********** 2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because: (a) you always like to see me smiling (b) you are testing whether I like jokes (c) you are attracted by my smile ********** 3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because: (a) you are so coy to sing before me (b) my presence influenced you (c) you feared that whether I'll like your song ********** 4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because: (a) you felt ashamed (b) you felt uneasy (c) you don't know ********** 5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because: (a) you enjoyed my disappointment (b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing (c) you don't know ********** 6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus... (a) you were waiting for me (b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus (c) that bus was crowded ********** 7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because: (a) I am going to be your groom (b) you just want to know what your parents think about me (c) just you felt like introducing me to them ********** 8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because: (a) to fulfill my wish (b) you like roses (c) by chance you got a rose ********** 9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because: (a) you want to pray along with me (b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday (c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual. ********** If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it. If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not. Eagerly awaiting your reply.. Love , Aanshu ************ ********* Ishaa's reply letter was also in Q/A format ........ Aanshu , Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire. ********** 1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them. (a) Yes (b) No ********** 2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love? (a) Yes (b) No ********** 3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not? (a) Yes (b) No ********** 4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo. You poked your nose inside..... Right ? (a) Yes (b) No ********** 5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet? (a) Yes (b) No ********** 6) Should I not wait for my best friend ( Anjali ) at the bus stand? (a)Yes (b) No ********** 7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend? (a) Yes (b) No ********** 8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ? (a) Yes (b) No ********** 9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple . Do you know ? (a) Yes (b) No If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love. Hope everything is clear to you . |
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18-09-2011, 12:16 PM
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#136 |
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Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 16,772
Rep Power: 137 |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Funny Leave Applications This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of Pakistan. 1. A student's leave letter: "As I am suffering from my uncle's marriage I cannot attend the class...." ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------- 2. A candidate's application: "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist And an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past Several years and I can handle both; I am applying for the post." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3. I.T.I., Lahore: An employee applied for leave as follows: Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one-week leave. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clocks and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5. A leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6. An incident of a leave letter: "I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7. Another leave letter written to the headmaster: As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8. A covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..." ------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------- 9. From H.A.L. Administration dept: As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, Please grant me 10 days leave. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10. Actual letter written for application of leave: "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband At home I may be granted leave". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11. Letter writing: "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12. Another gem from I.T.I. Leave-letter from an employee who was Performing his daughter's wedding: "As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave..." ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------- |
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18-09-2011, 12:18 PM
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#137 |
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Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 16,772
Rep Power: 137 |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
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18-09-2011, 12:19 PM
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#138 |
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Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 16,772
Rep Power: 137 |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
All about MARRIAGE ....
Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come. Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered. Aadmi shaadi kyon karta hai? Takee vo marne ke baad agar Swarg jaye to achcha feel kare aur agar Nark jaye to homely feel kare... Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ? To tell each other affectionately. .. Sweetheart U R Dead! |
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18-09-2011, 12:20 PM
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#139 |
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Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 16,772
Rep Power: 137 |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
College and the relation to Bollywood
Exam == Kalyug, Classes == Kabhi Kabhi Examination Hall == Chamber of Secret Examiner == Mrityudata Course == GodZilla Paper Correction == Andha Kanoon Exam Time == Qayamat se Qayamat Tak Question Paper == Paheli Answer Paper == Kora Kagaz Marks == Ashambhav Paper Out == Plan Cheating == Aksar Last Exam == Independence Day Result == Sadma Pass == Ajooba / Chamatkar Fail == Devdas Vacations == Masti |
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18-09-2011, 12:22 PM
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#140 |
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Administrator
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 16,772
Rep Power: 137 |
Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan
Rishte ki baat - Sholay Style Mein
Jay : Mausi, ladka Infotech mein kaam karta hai.. Mausi : Haaye Ram..! Aur kahin nahi kar raha hai kya?? Jay : kahan mausi 2 saal Infotech me rahne ke baad koi Company leti kahan hai… Mausi : Hi Raam to kya 2 saal se Infotech mein hi hai.. Jay : haan socha tha 2 saal me salary hike hogi hi. Aajkal to salary bhi ziyada NAHI mil rahi hai use.. Mausi : To kya salary BHI KAM milti HAI..? Jay : Ab appraisal bhi to asaani se kahaan hota hai mausi.. Mausi : Hai hai …!! To kya appraisal bhi nahi hota uska..? Jay : Senior se ladhai karne ke baad appraisal mein achhi rating to nahin milti hai… mausi.. Mausi : To kya seniors se ladhta bhi hai..? Jay : Ab 2 saal tak onsite jane ko na mile to ho jaati hai kabhi kabhi anban.. Mausi : To kya ab tak ek baar bhi onsite nahi gaya ..??? Jay : Ab Outdated technology ke developer ki kismat mein to yehi likha hai mausi.. Mausi : kya kaha ladka Outdated technology mein kaam karata hai..!!! Mausi : Kaunse college se padhai ki hai..? Jay : Uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar kar de denge!! Jay : To main rishta pakka samjhuna mausi? Mausi : Beta, kan khol kar sun le… Sagi mausi hoon basanti ki koi sauteli maa nahi. Bhale hi hamaari Basanti ke Call Center wale Chandu se shaadi karle par Infotech ke employee se katai nahin karegi…. |
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