101 Rajnikanth Jokes

[raju]

Federer challenges Rajnikant

Federer: I know everything in tennis. You can ask me anything!

Rajnikant: Ok. Tell me, how many holes are there in the nets?
Mind it!

[raju]

.....

Dear santa,

what do you want for christmas


Regards

Rajnikanth !!!!

.....

Outer space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet with
.
.
.
.
Rajnikanth

......

Rajnikanth count's to Infinity when he is angry !!!!

....


Rajnikanth never wets his bed as a child,

The bed wets itself in fear !!!

.....

When Rajnikanth was in class 3 His teacher told him to write an essay on anything. Today the essay is known as
.
.
.
.
.
Wikipedia

.......

Rajnikanth once wrote his Biography today the book is known as

GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS

....

When Rajnikanth joined Facebook he got a notification that Facebook wants to be his Friend

........

Rajnikanth doesn't wear a watch he decides what time it is !!!

.....

Rajnikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink !!!

.....

The only thing that runs faster and longer than Rajnikanth is his FILMS

.....

Where there is a will there is a way
.
.
.
.
.
Where there is Rajnikanth there is no other way !!!

......

Rajnikanth gave monalisa that smile

....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[raju]

[Awara]

रजनीकांत ने जामुन के पेड़ के नीचे गुलाब लगाया। आपको मालूम है क्या हुआ?
.
..
...
....
पेड़ पर "गुलाब जामुन" फलने लगा।

[Awara]

जब से कानून ने रजनीकांत को अपराध करते हुए देखा, तो मालूम है कि क्या हुआ?
.
..
...
होना क्या था?
तब से क़ानून अंधा हो गया।

[Awara]

रजनीकांत एक बार केबीसी में गेस्ट प्रतिभागी बने।
अमिताभ: कम्प्यूटर जी, रजनीकांत से पहला सवाल पूछिए?
कम्प्यूटर: मैं लाइफ लाइन का इस्तेमाल करना चाहता हूं।

[Awara]

When first programming language invented , the first program written was "Hello! Rajnikant"

[Awara]

Rajnikanth - The Programmer

1. When Rajnikanth throws exceptions, it’s across the room.

2. All arrays Rajnikanth declares are of infinite size, because Rajnikanth knows no bounds.

3. Rajnikanth doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

4. Rajnikanth writes code that optimizes itself.

5. Rajnikanth can’t test for equality because he has no equal.

6. Rajnikanth doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .LungiKick().

7. Rajnikanth’s first program was kill -9.

8. Rajnikanth burst the dot com bubble.

9. All browsers support the hex definitions #rajni and #kanth for the colors black and blue.

10. MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Rajni’s (he just lets you use it).

11. Rajnikanth can write infinite recursion functions… and have them return.

12. Rajnikanth can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.

13. The only pattern Rajnikanth knows is God Object.

14. Rajnikanth finished World of Warcraft.

15. Project managers never ask Rajnikanth for estimations… ever.

16. Rajnikanth doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him.

17. “It works on my machine” always holds true for Rajnikanth.

18. Whiteboards are white because Rajnikanth scared them that way.

19. Rajnikanth doesn’t do Burn Down charts, he does Lungi Down charts.

20. Rajnikanth can overflow your stack just by looking at it.

21. Rajnikanth’s beard can type 140 wpm.

22. Rajnikanth can unit test entire applications with a single assert.

23. Rajnikanth doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

24. Rajnikanth’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Rajnikanth.

25. When Rajnikanth is web surfing websites get the message “Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?”.

26. Rajnikanth doesn’t need a debugger, he just stares down the bug until the code confesses.

27. To Rajnikanth, everything contains a vulnerability.

28. Rajnikanth doesn’t need sudo, he just types “Rajnikanth” before his commands.

29. Rajnikanth can instantiate an abstract class.

30. Parent is the child of Rajnikanth.

31. Rajnikanth doesn’t get compiler errors, the language changes itself to accommodate Rajnikanth.

32. The programs that Rajnikanth writes don’t have version numbers because he only writes them once.

33. If a user reports a bug or has a feature request in Rajnikanth's program they don’t live to see the sun set.

34. Rajnikanth’ Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

35. Rajnikanth solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here’s the pseudo-code:

Break salesman into N pieces.
Kick each piece to a different city.

36. When Rajnikanth points to NULL, Null scares.

37. The function Rajnikanth writes does not have arguments.

38. Rajnikanth never gets a syntax error. Instead, The language gets a DoesNotConformToRajni error.

39. Rajnikanth doesn’t delete files, he “Kicks them away”.

40. Rajnikanth went out of an infinite loop.

41. Rajnikanth’s keyboard has the Any key.

42. Rajnikanth’ programs never exit, they terminate!

43. Rajnikanth insists on strongly-typed programming languages.

44. Rajnikanth protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.

45. Rajnikanth programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.

46. Rajnikanth can spawn threads that complete before they are started.

47. Rajnikanth programs do not accept input.

48. Rajnikanth’s OSI network model has only one layer- Physical.

49. Rajnikanth does not declare vars. He owns them.

50. All items in linked lists are linking to Rajnikanth.

51. Rajnikanth never gets “data-trancated” error. Instead, his run-time environment logs “variable-extended”.

[abhisays]

एक बार रजनीसर को भारतीय क्रिकेट टीम का कैप्टन बना दिया गया।

जानते हैं फिर क्या हुआ?
.
.
.
फिर भारतीय क्रिकेट टीम fifa और हॉकी वर्ल्ड कप दोनों जीत गई।

[abhisays]

रजनीकांत जब भी प्याज काटते है, प्याज से
पानी की बूंदें निकलती हैं। साइंटिस्ट कहते हैं कि ये प्याज
के आंसू होते हैं।
३. अगर आप सोचते हैं कि रजनीकांत का दिमाग कम्प्यूटर से तेज चलता है तो आप थोड़ा सा गलत हैं। रजनीकांत
का दिमाग चाचा चौधरी से तेज चलता है।