Punography - Page 26

rajnish manga · 22-01-2014, 01:01 PM

A PUNdit from PUNjab sat under a PUNdal and opened his PUNdora's Box to rid the world of all kind of PUNga.

internetpremi · 22-01-2014, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rajnish manga

A PUNdit from PUNjab sat under a PUNdal and opened his PUNdora's Box to rid the world of all kind of PUNga.

Desi Puns!
Loved them.
dil maange more!
Regards
GV

internetpremi · 22-01-2014, 07:46 PM

There are over a million words in the English language, but we can always use more. Here are some that wordsmiths contributed to the Merriam-Webster Open Dictionary website:

Epiphunny (noun): The moment of sudden revelation when one gets the joke.

Nagivator (noun): A bossy person who rides in the passenger seat and gives directions to the driver.

Phooey Vuitton (noun): A sub- standard, counterfeit Louis Vuitton product.

Wuzband (noun): A former husband.

internetpremi · 22-01-2014, 07:49 PM

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together; It was riveting. —Stewart Francis

When I was a child my father attacked me with cameras; I still have flashbacks. —Stewart…

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it. —@RickCouchman

Clones are people two.

If you cut off a milkman's feet, he would lactose. (lack toes)

Whiteboards are remarkable.(Re Markable)

jitendragarg · 23-01-2014, 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by internetpremi

A dull-witted king is losing a territorial dispute with a neighboring monarch. As the fight wears on, he gets more and more frustrated until finally he roars, "Where are my two court jesters?"

In seconds, two jesters appear at his side.

"Okay, let’s continue," he says, "now that I have my wits about me."

I missed something here.

internetpremi · 23-01-2014, 02:15 AM

To have one's wits about oneself is an idiom that means being alert, fit and capable of handling a difficult situation.

Here "wits" also refers to the two jesters who are supposed to be witty and keep the king entertained.
With the two jesters on either side, he has his "Wits" about him one on each side.

internetpremi · 23-01-2014, 05:33 AM

We disbar lawyers and we defrock clergy, so why don’t we:

Delight electricians?

Derange cowboys?

Depose models?

Debark tree surgeons?

Depress dry cleaners?

internetpremi · 23-01-2014, 05:35 AM

Would You Like to Join …

The Yoko Club? Oh no.

The German Philosophy Club? I Kant.

The Compulsive-Rhymers Club? Okey-dokey.

The Codependence Club? Can I bring a friend?

The Procrastinators Club? Maybe next week.
======

internetpremi · 23-01-2014, 05:37 AM

The man stole some soap and made a clean getaway.

A thief stole from the blood bank and was caught red-handed.

I went on a trip with an extra-terrestrial today.
It was out of this world

The cost of the space program is astronomical.

Geology Rocks!

internetpremi · 23-01-2014, 05:38 AM

My wife tells me I am a skeptic but I don't believe a word she says.

I’m glad I’ll be learning sign language, it comes in handy

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn’t have much of a plot.

One tectonic plate bumps into the other and says “sorry, my fault”

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

22-01-2014, 01:01 PM	#251
rajnish manga Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Faridabad, Haryana, India Posts: 13,293 Rep Power: 242	Re: Punography A PUNdit from PUNjab sat under a PUNdal and opened his PUNdora's Box to rid the world of all kind of PUNga. __________________ आ नो भद्रा: क्रतवो यन्तु विश्वतः (ऋग्वेद) (Let noble thoughts come to us from every side)

22-01-2014, 07:46 PM	#253
internetpremi Diligent Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: California / Bangalore Posts: 1,335 Rep Power: 46	Re: Punography There are over a million words in the English language, but we can always use more. Here are some that wordsmiths contributed to the Merriam-Webster Open Dictionary website: Epiphunny (noun): The moment of sudden revelation when one gets the joke. Nagivator (noun): A bossy person who rides in the passenger seat and gives directions to the driver. Phooey Vuitton (noun): A sub- standard, counterfeit Louis Vuitton product. Wuzband (noun): A former husband.

22-01-2014, 07:49 PM	#254
internetpremi Diligent Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: California / Bangalore Posts: 1,335 Rep Power: 46	Re: Punography I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together; It was riveting. —Stewart Francis When I was a child my father attacked me with cameras; I still have flashbacks. —Stewart… I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it. —@RickCouchman Clones are people two. If you cut off a milkman's feet, he would lactose. (lack toes) Whiteboards are remarkable.(Re Markable)

23-01-2014, 02:15 AM	#256
internetpremi Diligent Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: California / Bangalore Posts: 1,335 Rep Power: 46	Re: Punography To have one's wits about oneself is an idiom that means being alert, fit and capable of handling a difficult situation. Here "wits" also refers to the two jesters who are supposed to be witty and keep the king entertained. With the two jesters on either side, he has his "Wits" about him one on each side.

23-01-2014, 05:33 AM	#257
internetpremi Diligent Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: California / Bangalore Posts: 1,335 Rep Power: 46	Re: Punography We disbar lawyers and we defrock clergy, so why don’t we: Delight electricians? Derange cowboys? Depose models? Debark tree surgeons? Depress dry cleaners?

23-01-2014, 05:35 AM	#258
internetpremi Diligent Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: California / Bangalore Posts: 1,335 Rep Power: 46	Re: Punography Would You Like to Join … The Yoko Club? Oh no. The German Philosophy Club? I Kant. The Compulsive-Rhymers Club? Okey-dokey. The Codependence Club? Can I bring a friend? The Procrastinators Club? Maybe next week. ======

23-01-2014, 05:37 AM	#259
internetpremi Diligent Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: California / Bangalore Posts: 1,335 Rep Power: 46	Re: Punography The man stole some soap and made a clean getaway. A thief stole from the blood bank and was caught red-handed. I went on a trip with an extra-terrestrial today. It was out of this world The cost of the space program is astronomical. Geology Rocks!

23-01-2014, 05:38 AM	#260
internetpremi Diligent Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: California / Bangalore Posts: 1,335 Rep Power: 46	Re: Punography My wife tells me I am a skeptic but I don't believe a word she says. I’m glad I’ll be learning sign language, it comes in handy The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up. I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn’t have much of a plot. One tectonic plate bumps into the other and says “sorry, my fault” I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. Last edited by internetpremi; 25-01-2014 at 08:22 AM.