Punography

[internetpremi]

Book Title Puns -15
Name of book : Author (Internetpremi's explanation, as understood by him)


The Good Breakfast: Hammond Deggs (Ham and eggs)
Funny Women: Hillary Uss (Hilarious)
Human Resources Manager: Hiram N. Firem (Hire 'em and fire 'em)
Lazy Employees: Hans Doolittle (Hands do little)
Stunned Over Christmas: Holly Daze (Holidays)
The German Bank Robbery: Hans Zupp (hands up!)
Tinseltown Tales: Holly Wood
Get Moving, Slowpoke!: Harriet Upp (hurry it up)
Rapunzel, Rapunzel!: Harris Long (hair is long)
Jockeying for Position: Horace Ryder (horse rider)
Who Killed Cock Robin?: Howard I. Noe (how wood I know)
I'm Fine: Howard Yu (how are you?)
Chinese Apathy: Hu Kares (Who cares)
Mystery in the Barnyard: Hu Flung Dung (who flung dung)
I Lived in Detroit: Helen Earth (Hell on earth)
Greek Unbeliever!: Hera Tick (heretic)

[internetpremi]

Why do people study gravity? It's a pretty attractive field.

I chose my gastroenterologist based on gut feeling.

Yesterday I was on the computer, I couldn't find the Esc and I lost Ctrl.

Yesterday my fridge thought it was a microwave, so we got into a heated fight. But we're cool now.

[internetpremi]

Desi Pun

आप जैसा कोई मेरी दिल्ली में आए, तो बात बन जाए

[internetpremi]

Drooling is my new religion. It’s the only path to salivation.

The supreme joy of keeping your options open, is also known as either/or-gasm.

I don’t digitize my home movies. I keep it reel.

If you eat the wrong cereal, you might feel Kellogged up in the morning.

Steamroller operators tend to flatter.

When it comes to Facebook, the best defriends is a good offense.

[internetpremi]

Book Title Puns -16
Name of book : Author (Internetpremi's explanation, as understood by him)




Parachuting: Hugo Furst (you go first)
Midnight Patrol: Hugo Zaire (who goes there)
His Girl Thursday: Herman Friday
No Camels Here!: Humphrey Zoo (hump free zoo)
Hunger In America: Heywood Jafeedme (hey! would ya feed me?)
Sure, I'm Crazy!: Hussein Neeway (Who;s saying anyway)
Teach Me!: I. Wanda Noe (I want to know)
In the Arctic Ocean: Isa Berg (iceberg)
Take This Job And Shove It: Ike Witt (I quit)
I'm Someone Else: Ima Nonimus (I am anonymous)
I Didn't Do It!: Ivan Alibee (I have an alibi)
The Phillipine Post Office: Imelda Letter (I mailed a letter)
My Seventh Husband: Ivana Nyuhause (I want a new house)
Cheating on His Wife: Izzy Beckett (Is he back yet?)

[internetpremi]

What's the difference between a real pizza and my pizza jokes? My pizza jokes can't be topped.

Three guys are on a boat and they have four cigarettes but no lighter or matches to light them with. What do they do?
They throw one cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.


What's the best way to control a wicked temper.
Mind over madder!

What is it you must never plant on a green roof.
Leeks!

What is the proper name for a stolen Venetian boat.
Gone-dola

Why Congress can't get anything done early?
They're legis-laters

[internetpremi]

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.

If you want to cut down on infidelity you need to take a less affair approach.

Bad architecture in Louisiana? Any skyscraper there is either new or leans.


I will really miss being able to walk if my legs get amputated. It’s a case of a motional attachment.


What’s the most annoying monkey? The Harangutan.

Ape lied Science: the study of those deceitful chimpanzees.
==

[internetpremi]

Book Title Puns -17
Name of book : Author (Internetpremi's explanation, as understood by him)


No More Circuit Breakers!: Ira Fuze (I had a fuse)
The Monkey Cage: Jim Panzy (chimpanzee)
Split Personalities: Jacqueline Hyde (Jekyl and Hyde)
Those Funny Dogs: Joe Kur (Joker)
Athletic Supporter: Jacques Strappe (Jock strap)
The Dead Of Winter: Jan Yuary (January)
The Hitchhiker: Juanna Lifft (do you want a lift?)
Personal Tutoring: Juan Touwan (One to one)
The Source of Electricity: Jenny Raytor (generator)
The Friendly Bartender: Juana Beeyer (Do you want a beer)
I Work with Diamonds: Jules Sparkle (jewels sparkle)
Birdwatching for Beginners: Jesse De Perrot (just see the parrot)
I Need Insurance: Justin Case (Just in case)
Almost Missed the Bus: Justin Tyme (just in time)
The Scent Of A Man: Jim Nazium (gymnasium)
Flips and Tumbles: Jim Naztiks (gymnastics)
Breaking the Law: Kermit A. Krime (commit a crime)

[internetpremi]

Book Title Puns -18
Name of book : Author (Internetpremi's explanation, as understood by him)


Don't Let Me Stop You: Kerry Onn (Carry on)
Yoko's Robe: Kim Ono (kimono)
Nuclear Power Bafflement: Ken Fusion (confusion)
The Economy is Recovering!: Knott Kwite (not quite)
A Stuntman To The End: Kenny Doitt (Can he do it)
Honest Citizen: Laura Byder (law abider)
Crackdown: Lauren Auder (law and order)
How to Cut Grass: Lon Moore (lawn mower)
Tight Situation: Leah Tard (leotard)
Good Housekeeping: Lotta Dust (Lot of dust)
You Drip!: Lee K. Fawcette (leaky faucet)
The Palace Roof has a Hole: Lee King (leaking)
Tear Up Those Betting Slips: Lou Zerr (loser)
The Ham Radio Primer: Loudon Klear(loud and clear)
The Shrinking Society: Les Ismoor (less is more)
Fallen Underwear: Lucy Lastik (lose elastic)
Not So Hot: Luke Varme (luke warm)
Volunteer's Guidebook: Linda Hand(lend a hand)
Irish Flooring: Lynn O'Lium (linoleum)

[internetpremi]

You should take up origami. The reasons are many-fold.

You better be good for Christmas. On December 25, the Claus come out.

Verbal diarrhea: losing control of one’s vowels, also a sign of in-consonants.

Superman broke out of Alcatraz. It’s the Great S cape.

You can wed your lizard in the US. They just legalized marry iguana.

Foreigners weren’t allowed in the cemetery because they could only inter nationals.

For every level of grief, there is a tier of joy.

I went to the Muslim party store. I wanted to see what all the halal balloons was about

There is no census for insects. I won’t count ten ants it.
=================