Humour Unlimited

[anjaan]

[anjaan]

New generation girl's wish:


I don't want any prince charming coming on white horse.


I would rather die for a vampire in a BMW !!!!!!

[anjaan]

A factory had a policy of hiring only married men.
Concerned about this, a local Woman's Liberation Front Leader called on the CEO and asked him sharply, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you consider women as weak, dumb,cantankerous, or do you consider us tantrum throwers, bossy and so on,?"

Not at all, Ma'am," the CEO replied."It is because our Policy is to hire staff who are used to obeying orders without questioning,whoare accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut, and put up withanything when I yell at them."

[anjaan]

Ek bar supreet aur lax ki khub pitai hui

kyu




Dono Birthday party mai muft ka khana khatey hue pakre gaye,

aur puchne par kehne lage
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"Hum larki walo ki taraf se hai

[anjaan]

Boys ka common sense zero hota hai













Kaise???????













Gents toilet me likh kar aayenge


"Priya I Love you"











Ab kya priya waha padhne jaati hai !!!!!!!!!

[anjaan]

When no money: Eats vegetables at home

When has money: Eats the same vegetables at hotel


When no money: Rides bicycle.

When has money: Rides exercise machine.


When no money: Walks to earn food

When has money: Walks to lose fat.


When no money: Wants to get married

When has money: Wants to get divorced


When no money: Acts like a rich man

When has money: Acts like a poor man.


Man never means what he says and never says what he means !!!!!!!

[anjaan]

5 deadly questions by wife

1. Are your free this Sunday for shopping?


2. Do I look fat?


3. Is that lady beautiful than me?


4. You love me?


5. You want me as your wife in next birth also?

[anjaan]

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started.....

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And that's when the fight started.....

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And then the fight started...

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily nipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

And then the fight started, the doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...

[ndhebar]

Originally Posted by anjaan

When no money: Walks to earn food

When has money: Walks to lose fat.

Too good ...............

[anjaan]

a machine that catches thieves

In the U.S. they invented a machine that catches thieves; they took it to different countries for a test.

In U.S.A itself, in 30 minutes, the machine caught 20 thieves;

In UK, in 30 minutes it caught more than 50 thieves;

In Spain, in 30 minutes it caught 65 thieves;

In Ghana, in 30 minutes it caught 600 thieves;

India, THEY CAUGHT NOBODY … … … in 15 minutes the machine was stolen.

One such machine was imported in Pakistan 10 years ago, Customs not decided ITP value yet - awaiting clearance