Punography

[internetpremi]

You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

A boiled egg, is hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

If you take your laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

[internetpremi]

Cricket / Movie name Puns
=====================

Goodbye Mr Slips
Star Waughs-The Umpire Strikes Bat
Gone With The W.Indies
To Kill A DickieBird
The Passion Of Gilchrist
Waugh & Peace
My Four Lady
You've Got Bails
Saving W.G Grace

[rajnish manga]

Originally Posted by internetpremi

Cricket / Movie name Puns
=====================

Goodbye Mr Slips
Star Waughs-The Umpire Strikes Bat
Gone With The W.Indies
To Kill A DickieBird
The Passion Of Gilchrist
Waugh & Peace
My Four Lady
You've Got Bails
Saving W.G Grace

Very good, brother. May I dare to make some additions:

It' A Wonderful Five
Once Upon A Time In The Test
Eleven Samurai
The Ashes Of Wrath
Children Of ODIs
One Flew Over The Bookie's Test

[internetpremi]

Originally Posted by rajnish manga

Very good, brother. May I dare to make some additions:

It' A Wonderful Five
Once Upon A Time In The Test
Eleven Samurai
The Ashes Of Wrath
Children Of ODIs
One Flew Over The Bookie's Test

Excellent additions!
Thanks

[internetpremi]

The difference between a champ and a chump is u.
Triumph is just umph added to try.
Don't assume. It will make an ass out of u and me.
Hard work is the yeast that raises the dough.
One thing you can give and still keep is your word.
If the going gets easy you may be going downhill.
Failure is the path of least persistence.
If at first you don't succeed try-a-grin.
People who never make a mistake never make anything else
A smile doesn't cost a cent, but it gains a lot of interest.

[internetpremi]

Jyoti Basu dies at 11.47 A.M
He almost made it to P.M again.


Kerala gets 3G services.
Now they can call themselves "GGGods own country."

Subhash Ghai was ahead of his times.
He introduced 4G way back in 1989.
A-G, oh-G, lo-G suno-G.

Lok Sabha meets. Noise. Confusion. Lok Sabha adjourns.
Was it the Joke Sabha?


Sania Mirza announces that she is going to marry Shoaib Malik.
Thank God, Sania doesn't have to do 7 pheras with Shoaib.
She wil never get past the first round.


Sachin Tendulkar's birthday today?
Let's celebrate it as runmashtami.


The good thing is that Sachin has turned 37.
Which means, for the next 365 days, he will be in his prime.

[rajnish manga]

बहुत खूब, निम्नलिखित उदाहरण अतुलनीय हैं:

1. Triumph is just umph added to try.

2. One thing you can give and still keep is your word.

3. Jyoti Basu dies at 11.47 A.M
He almost made it to P.M again.

[internetpremi]

Matthew Hayden to change his name to Matthew_Hayden.
After all he is a chronic under-scorer.

All the recent happenings prove that an honest politician is the exception rather than Tharoor.

TN may free 500 convicts to mark Tamil conference.
Why? Did classical Tamil have shorter sentences?

M S Dhoni gets married.M.S. Dhoni's wife will be called Ms. Dhoni.

CWG fun begin.Now I understand why the CWG mascot is called Shera.
They want a Shera this, a Shera that, and a Shera everything that makes money.

CBI is letting suspects off the hook.
The best business prospect today: a paper factory that supplies clean chits to the CBI.

1.6 million meals to be served during CWG. Oh. No wonder they have created such a big mess.

I propose that we make mosquitoes our national insect. Then the government will try to protect them and they will all become extinct.

In Tamil Nadu, a million more TV sets will be distributed. It's an alms race.

What's the most apt advice for Arundhati Roy?
If at first you don't secede, cry, cry, cry again.

The more the Diwali sweets in your house, the faster they get spoilt : Burfi's law.

A. Raja is living proof about a pot of gold at the end of the spectrum.

Manmohan Singh's First Law of Motion.Everybody stays in a state of rest unless acted upon by Soniaji.

[internetpremi]

Q. How's your job at the clock company?
A. Only time will tell.

Q. How's your job at the banana company?
A. I keep slipping up.

Q. How's your job on the new highway?
A. I'm so busy I don't know which way to turn.

Q. How's your job at the travel agency?
A. I'm going nowhere.

[internetpremi]

New names for old newspapers.

Jokesatta
Jungsatta
Hindustan Crimes
The Indian Depress
The Bad Times of India
The Advertisements of India
The Tragic Chronicle

Dainik Torture
and
DNA (Do Not Ask)!