Funny Jokes....

[Rinu]

Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger who looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nikes.

His friend looked at him "Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?"

I don't have to run faster than that tiger, his friend replied. "I just have to run faster than you".

[Madhu]

It's really very funny dear....

[Madhu]

now look at these.......

[Madhu]

So Karl Marx dies and shows up at the gates of heaven to be met by Saint Peter.

"Name?" asks Peter.

"Marx, Karl Marx." replies the famous author.

"Hmm," says Peter to himself, "why do I know that name?"

"I am Marx," Marx said, beaming with pride, "founder of socialism and the driving force behind the communist ideal called Marxism."

"I see," Peter said. "I'll have to check with God."

So Peter rushes off to confer with God. God hears the name Marx and immediately a look of disgust infects His face. "Marx?" God says, "He's nothing but a trouble maker. Send him down to hell."

So Peter happily signs the appropriate forms and deports Karl Marx to Satan's fiery hell.

Some time later, a free trade agreement is forged between Heaven and Hell. The deal is hailed by all to be a great economic leap forward that would revitalize both struggling economies. But soon after the treaty,God realizes that Heaven is no longer receiving any products from Hell. So he sends Saint Peter down to investigate.

"Well?" asks Peter of Satan, "What's the hold up? We have an agreement!"

Satan shrugs his shoulders, exasperated. "It's that Marx fellow," Satan replied. "Ever since he got down here, all we've had are strikes and labor demands. Productivity has dropped to zero!"

"So?" Peter asks, "What would you have us do?"

"Take him back. Take Marx back to Heaven, and I guarantee productivity will sky rocket!"

So Peter agreed, on God's behalf, to accept Karl Marx back to Heaven.

Some time later Satan realizes that Hell has not received any orders for product from Heaven. In fact, very little communication at all has leaked from Up Above. So, concerned for the economic welfare of Hell, he makes a trip to Heaven.

"Peter! Peter, are you there?" Satan demands.

"Yes, what is it?" Peter answers.

"What's the hold up? What about the flow of trade?"

"Oh I'm sorry," Peter said, "We have decided to adopt a Marxist isolationist stance. We are an intrinsic self-governed body that is now based on the needs of the proletariat. It is our opinion that this free trade agreement only benefits the bourgeois."

"What?!" Satan was furious. "I demand to speak to God!"

Peter's eyebrow is raised in confusion. "Who?"

[Madhu]

George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son. The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to the boy, and the father replies: "Euro".

The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency.

Says George: "What? There weren't any objections when I called my first two sons Mark and Frank."

[Madhu]

AP and UPI reported that the American Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide."

The only two higher levels in America are "surrender" and "collaborate."

The raise was precipitated by the recent fire which destroyed one of America's white flag factories, effectively disabling their military.

[Madhu]

President Parvez Musharraf was awakened one night by an urgent call from the GHQ. "Mr. President," said the four-star general, barely to contain himself, "there's good news & bad news."

"Oh, no," muttered the President, "Well, let me have the bad news first."

"The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet."

"Gosh, and the good news?"

"The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters & piss oil."

[Madhu]

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still live," Osama himself decided to send George W. A letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message: "370HSSV-0773H"

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Colin Powell. Colin and his aides had no clue either so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it so it went to the CIA, on then to the NSA, then to the Secret Service. With no clue as to it's meaning, they eventually asked Canada's RCMP for help.

The RCMP cabled the White House as follows:

"Tell the President he is looking at the message upside down!"

[Madhu]

Due to a minor glitch in the celestial time-space continuum, Albert Einstein, Pablo Picasso and George W. Bush all arrived at the Pearly Gates simultaneously.

Saint Peter said, "You look like three famous people, but you have no idea the length people will go to sneak into Heaven. You must prove who you are."

Einstein requests a blackboard and chalk, then covers it many times over with arcane mathematics describing his special theory of relativity.

Saint Peter is impressed. "You really are Einstein! Welcome to heaven!"

Then Saint Peter turns to Picasso. "Give me that chalk," says Picasso.

With a few deft strokes he creates a stunning array of bulls, satyrs and nude women.

Saint Peter applauds. "You really are Picasso! Welcome to heaven!"

Saint Peter then turns to George W. Bush. "Einstein and Picasso have proved their identity. How can you prove yours?"

Dubya looks bewildered. "Who's Einstein and Picasso?"

Saint Peter sighs. "Come on in, George."

[Madhu]

Two neighbors got into an argument about presidential politics. The first guy asked, "Why are you such a dedicated Republican?"

The second guy replied, "My Father and Grandfather were Republicans before me and I am carrying on the family tradition."

"That's it?" said the first exasperated neighbor. "What if your Father and Grandfather had been horse thieves?"

"Well..." replied the second neighbor, "I suppose then I'd be a Democrat like you."