Punography

[internetpremi]

Mr Rupee, how do you respond to all the jokes made on you?

Mr Rupee: I don't appreciate!

[rajnish manga]

Originally Posted by internetpremi

New names for old newspapers.

Jokesatta
Jungsatta
Hindustan Crimes
The Indian Depress
The Bad Times of India
The Advertisements of India
The Tragic Chronicle

Dainik Torture
and
DNA (Do Not Ask)!

Innovative and Contemporary journalism.

[abhisays]

awesoeme...............thread..

[internetpremi]

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.


Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.

A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.

[internetpremi]

If your feet fell asleep for too long, they’d be coma-toes.

If a knight unexpectedly gave you a large sum of money, you might be sir-prized.

Are caps worn by French taxi drivers cab-berets?

When a publisher floods the market with new books, is this a title-wave?

The best serf at the manor is a champ-peon.

Et-tu-mology is the study of Caesar’s last words.


Mental exercise to make tooth extraction more bearable is transcend-dental meditation.

Dog sleds may be left overnight in a barking lot.

A powerful sleeping pill for cattle might be called a bull-dozer.

[internetpremi]

Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet
SMELL and their noses RUN.

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase "fire at will".

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can
of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink

[internetpremi]

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. When they lit a fire in the craft it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, was known as the lesser of two weevils.

A three-legged dog walked into a saloon in the Old West. He slid up to the bar and announced "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

A man entered his local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

A woman had twins, and gave them up for adoption. One of them went to a family in Egypt and was named Amahl. The other went to a family in Spain; they named him Juan. Years later, Juan sent a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving the picture, she told her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amahl. Her husband responded, "But they are twins--once you've seen Juan, you've seen Amahl."

[internetpremi]

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"


Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

[rajnish manga]

Originally Posted by internetpremi

Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet
SMELL and their noses RUN.

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase "fire at will".

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can
of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink

Once again, avid readers wear a broad smile,
When they go through the thread for a while;
But sometimes the pun gets out of our grasp
To get funfilled, one has to walk an extra mile.

[internetpremi]

The American Medical Association has weighed in on
Obama's new health care package.

The Allergists were in favor of scratching it,
but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it,
but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot o f nerve.

Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception,
while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!"
while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness,
while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing
and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.

The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would
"put a whole new face on the matter".

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward,
but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas,
and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have t heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire
decision up to the ass***es in Washington.
==========================================