Funny Jokes....

[abhisays]

Santa in Chandigarh

Santa was visiting Chandigarh for the first time. He wanted to see the Rock Garden.
Unfortunately, he couldn't find it, so he asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Rock Garden?"
The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 46 bus. It'll take you right there."
He thanked the officer and the officer drove off. Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, Santa is still waiting at the same bus stop.
The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Rock Garden, I said to wait here for the number 46 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?"
Santa replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 43rd bus just went by!"

[abhisays]

Refilling!!!

There were these two not so bright guys, Santa and Banta, who had to get across the desert. Since they didn't have enough money for a car so they decided to buy a camel.
The camel dealer promised them that the camel would get them across the desert if they made sure he was full of water before they left.
They took the camel down to the water hole, but the camel would not drink.
Santa says, "I have a idea, why don't I hold his head down in the water and you s**k on his butt. That way the water will be drawn up into him like a straw."
Banta thought about this for a while and finally agreed.
After a while Santa asks, "Well is it working?"
Banta replied, "I think it is going to work, but you have to pick his head up just a little because I'm just getting mud."

[abhisays]

Santa was booked into an Air India flight to Bombay. But as this was his first time in an aeroplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place.
When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, Santa declared loudly, "I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don`t charge me for food and drinks!"
So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, Santa began spreading out his own home-cooked meal. The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher and was curious about the food.
"Excuse me, what is that drink?" he asked.
Santa picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said, "Milk of India!"
Then Santa took out several pieces of chappatis and started feasting.
"And what is that dish?" asked the curious American.
"Wheat of India!" replied Santa proudly.
Finally, Santa took out some desserts. He offered some to the American.
"What is it?" asked the American.
"Sweets of India!" replied Santa.
After the meal, everyone was settling down when there was a loud `Pooooooooot!` sound (fart) from Santa.
"What was that?" asked the American, holding his nose in disgust.
Santa replied coolly, "That`s Air India."

[abhisays]

Santa got his promotion and become an officer in Punjab
Government. To keep up with his status, he decided to speak only in English to
all his subordinates. One morning, his peon peeped through the door to
see if his boss was busy. Santa Singh noticed him and shouted, 'Why are
you outstanding! Please income.'

[abhisays]

Santa : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and
the other one is blue with red spots! Banta : Yes it's really strange.
I've got another pair of the same at home.

[abhisays]

Blind date!

Banta sets up Santa to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But Santa is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before.
"What do I do if she's ugly?" says Santa, "I'll be stuck with her all night."
"Don't worry," Banta says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't just shout 'Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuggghhh!' and fake an asthma attack."
So that night, Santa knocks at the girl's door and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and **** she is.
He's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts: ..."Aaaaaaaaaaauuugguuughhh!"

[abhisays]

Once Banta went to Bombay. While passing through a road he saw a very high building.
He was amazed to see it, and decided to count its stories. As he was doing so a townsman saw him and tried to befool him.
So he approached Banta and asked, "What are you doing?"
When he was told the answer, the townsman said that one had to pay two rupees for every storey counted.
"How many have you counted?"
Banta said ten and gave the man twenty rupees.
Walking away Banta was very happy to think how he has befooled the other man for he had counted twenty.

[abhisays]

Banta is a Government Employee. One day, out of boredom, he decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp.
"This will look nice on my mantelpiece," he decides and takes it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes.
"I wish for a beautiful Castle right now!"
He gets one. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish.
"I wish to be on an island where beautiful nymphomaniacs reside."
Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him lustfully.
He tells the genie his third and last wish, "I wish I'd never have to work ever again."
OOPS! He's back in his office again

[abhisays]

1. What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.

[abhisays]

2. Teacher to a Sardar : A=B, B=C, So A=C, Give me an example,
Sardar : I Love You, You Love Your Daughter, So I Love Your
Daughter