Humour Unlimited

[abhisays]

One morning at a doctor's clinic a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain.

The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what happened to your back?" The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That's how I strained my back.

"The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible.. What the hell happened to you?" He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now .Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late.. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge.

"The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell happened to you.?"

"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor" =D

[abhisays]

A Newly Wedded Girl On fone:
Maa, 2day v had a Fight
Mother: O Dear,
Pati Patni Mein dis Happens Smtimes
Girl: k I Undrstand Par Ab LAASH Ka Kya Karu ?

[abhisays]

Superman's had a hard week of fighting crime in Metropolis and is ready for some R&R. So Friday afternoon he looks up his pals Batman and Spiderman to see if they're up for going on the prowl that evening. Both turn him down on account of prior commitments and Superman is pretty ticked. As he's flying around the stratosphere letting off steam, he spots Wonder Woman lying on her back stark naked sunbathing on the beach.

"Hey," he thinks, "I'm Superman and I don't need those two clowns to have a good time. I can just fly down there at the speed of light, catch a quickie and fly away before she knows what happened."

So, Superman zips down, takes advantage of the situation and flies away at the speed of light.

Wonder Woman says, "What the hell was that?"

The Invisible Man says, "I don't know but it hurt like hell"

[abhisays]

Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three Microsoft employees and still died a virgin?

Her first husband was in Training, and kept teaching her how to do it herself.

The second was in Sales, and kept telling her how good it was going to be.

And the third was in Tech Support, and kept saying “Don’t worry, it’ll be up any minute now…”

[abhisays]

Mom and Dad were taking young Billy for a walk through the park one sunny afternoon when all of a sudden, in the bushes a short distance away, Billy spots two dogs going at it. Billy says, "Daddy, what are they doing?" The dad responds after some quick thinking, "Why son, their making a puppy."

Later that night Billy was thirsty and got out of bed to get a glass of water. As he walked by his mom and dad's room, he heard a noise and looked in only to find them going at it. Billy shouts, "Daddy what are you doing?" The father, quite embarrassed, replies "Why Billy, we're making a baby." "Quick, turn her over..." declares Billy, "...I want a puppy!"

[abhisays]

AMERICAN MOVIES TEACH US:

1. Chinese have nothing better to do than teaching or practice Kung Fu.
2. More than 50% of U.S. population are FBI/CIA agents, working undercover.
3. The purpose of school system of U.S. is to promote basketball.
4. Aliens have special interest in attacking U.S.
5. U.S. is a place where you can meet all mythical creatures like warewolves and vampires.

INDIAN MOVIES TEACH US:
1. At least one of the identical twins is born evil.
2. While defusing a bomb, do not worry, whichever wire you cut you"always choose the right".
3. A hero will show no pain, while getting beaten up; but will show pain when a girl cleans up his wound.
4. A detective can solve a case only when he is suspended from duty.
5. If you decide to start dancing on the street, everyone you meet will know the steps...

[abhisays]

If you're going on the road.. and is a Cat crosses your path... What does it mean..?????

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It means the cat's going somewhere as well

[abhisays]

[abhisays]

Ladki wale - bete kuch boori aadat hai?

Ladka - nahin

Ladki wale - bete, boori aadat matlab, kya sharab pite ho?

Ladka - nahin

Ladki wale - bete, kya cigarette pite ho?

Ladka - nahin

Ladki wale - bete, kya jua / satta khelte ho?

Ladka - nahin

Ladki wale - bete, kya ladkiyo ke paas jaate ho?

Ladka - nahin

Ladki wale - bete, aaj kal to tumhare jaisa accha ladka milna bahoot mushkil hai...

Ladka - lekin mere paas ek boori aadat hai..

Ladki wale - are bete, aap itne acche ho..ek boori aadat se koi farak nahin padta...btw..oh buri aadat kya hai...

Ladka - Main ziyada jhoot bolta hoon..

[abhisays]

Boy- Tumhari kameez Fati Hui Hai....
Girl- Nahi, Ye Fashion hai.
Boy- Achchha, Khud Faado toh Fashion,
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Hum Faade Toh POLICE
STATION ??