Funny Jokes....

[abhisays]

Santa's Ferrari

Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh's Place in a Brand New - Red Ferarri.
Banta: Wow Banta, ke gaddi hai (What a car)Kithon laiye (where did you get it from)
Santa:Main highway te lift mung reha se ... Gori Mem aaee te meine kende "want a ride Mr. Singh" I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr Singh. take anything"
Banta is quite excited and asks "tu ke keeta Santa "
Santa: Mian gaddi lai layee. (I took the car)
Banta: Changa keeta kapde tenu fit bhi nahi aane se (good showyou wouldn't have fit into her clothes)

[abhisays]

Banta's driving along the highway one evening when all of a sudden nature calls. He sees a little bar up the way and he pulls into the parking lot.

When he gets inside, he finds the place is packed! The bar is crowded with people trying to get drinks, ladies are dancing on the tables and there's hardly standing room anywhere.

Banta scans the place a couple of times to find the restrooms, but to no avail. Finally, he spots a small stairway and scrambles up.

When he gets to the top, he discovers that all the doors are locked. All but one. When he opens the door, all he sees is a big hole in the floor. Desperate, he drops his pants and dumps the biggest load he's ever had right there in the hole.

Relieved, he calmly walks down the stairs. The once crowded barroom is completely empty, not a soul was in sight. Slowly, a bartender rises from behind the bar.

"What happened!?!" says Banta.

The bartender responds "Where were you when the shit hit the fan?!"

[abhisays]

One night, Banta was walking home when a thief jumped on him all of a sudden. Banta and the thief had a terrific tussle. They rolled about on the ground, and Banta put up a tremendous fight until, at last, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground. The thief then went through Banta s pockets and searched him all over. There was only a 25-paise coin he could lay his hands on. The thief was so surprised at this that he asked Banta why he had bothered to fight so hard just for a 25-paise bit.
"Was that all you wanted?" said Banta,
"I thought you were after the five-hundred rupees I’ve got in my shoe!"

[abhisays]

A Sardarji, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for the office : 'Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa' . One day his wife fed up of this answered : ' Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap'. That ended the husband's witticisms.

Sardarji ( to doctor ) : Doctor, I have a problem.
Doctor : What's your problem?
Sardarji : I keep forgetting things.
Doctor : Since when do you have this problem?
Sardarji : What problem?

[abhisays]

Santa and Banta had just bought two horses.Now the problem was that they could not differenciate between the two horses.So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.While doing so,an enemy of Santa looks at him.This enemy also cuts the left ear of banta.By doing so santa and banta come in confusion to differenciate. So, next thing santa keeps on cutting his horse's right ear , then his tail , then makes him blind and so on .And the enemy also kept on doing so with banta's horse.At last Santa's horse had no legs left and banta's horse was with one leg only .The enemy also went and cut banta's horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution , How to diffrenciate thier horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to thier mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and i will keep the white

[abhisays]

A tailor ran away with people's clothes.

Some complaines about their pant piece or suit piece.

But anxious Santa - Mera to NAAP hi lekar bhag gaya.

[abhisays]

Santa : Which is the most painful delivery in world?
Banta : sunny deol ki maa ki.
Santa : woh kaise?
Banta : woh nikla gaddi le ke.....


Santa : Tainu Sunny Deol da phone number pata hai?
Banta : Nahi kyon ki hoya?
Santa : Yaar saade ghar da nalka patauna si......


Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola : "meinu koi farak nahin pada, pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon"....


Santa Exam Dene Gaya To plumber Ko sath lekar gaya, Why ? bcoz usko khabar mili thi ki paper leak ho gaya hai.....

Santa dials a number, A girl recieves the call
santa: who r u?
girl: sita
santa: maine to chandigarh phone kiya tha,

yeh to ayodhya mil gaya

[abhisays]

Teacher to Sardar " Where were U born?
Sardar : In Tiruvanantapuram.
Teacher : Spell it?
Sardar : (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.

================================================== ==============

Santa : People consider me as a "GOD"
Banta : How do you know??
Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have came again..

================================================== ==============

Sardar complained 2 Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV in my house.
Police : How the theif did not take TV???
Sardar : I was watching TV na....

================================================== ==============
Thought for the Day!!!

If you call your mother as MUM.. What will you call Mother's younger sis and elder sis?

Answer : MINIMUM & MAXIMUM

================================================== ==============
Tihar Jail ordered 999 Shirts and 1000 Pants for its inmates.
Tell why this odd combination?


Answer : Bcos SALMAN KHAN is coming and He hardly wear SHIRTs!!!

================================================== ==============
When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?

Answer : On their Wedding !!

================================================== ==============
Whats the height of Intelligence?

Answer : A 99 year old Sardar going for HUTCH ka naya lifetime scheme ...

[abhisays]

A Sardarji and a Bengali, both suffering from serious diseases, share the same room in a hospital.
They are taken violently ill and they cannot even utter a word.
After a few days of living together, the Bengali gets really bored and
wants to start off a conversation with his fellow patient.
He realises that he has not enough
energy left to say a sentence; instead he just attempts to say a word.
After much effort he turns to the Sardarji, points his finger towards himself and says "Bengali".
Sardarji doesn't want to let the poor Bengali down who has struggled so hard to start a conversation.
Sardarji musters all his energy and says "Punjabi" gesturing the same way as Bengali did.
Bengali is happy now and wants to continue the conversation.
After much more effort this time he says, again pointing his finger towards himself "Sharath Bose."
Sardarji after some effort says "Devindar Singh".
Bengali is even happier that they now know each other's names.
After some time, Bengali turns towards Sardarji and mustering all his energy says "Cancer" - -
again doing the same gesture as before...
Sardarji smiles and with some effort says "Scorpio."

[abhisays]

Santa was invited to Banta's home for dinner, where he noticed that his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms, calling her Jalebi, Honey, Pyaari, Darling, Sweetheart etc.

He was impressed, since the couple had been married almost 40 years. While the wife was in the kitchen, Santa said, "I think it's wonderful that after all these years, you still call bhabhiji those pet names."

Banta hung his head. "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about 10 years ago."