Jokes for young generation

[bindujain]

vicky bhai got “0" marks in exam..


So Check the paper and tellvicky bhai he is right na.!


Q.1 What is formula of water?
Ans: H,i,j,k,l,m,n,o (H to O).


Q.2 Till when 2nd world war was fought?
Ans: From page 115 to page120.


Q.3 Who was Bhagat Singh?
Ans: Ajay davegan, Boby deol…


Now tel me who is wrong,
vicky bhai or teacher!:-)
[/INDENT]

[bindujain]

[bindujain]

A Somalian arrives in Australia as a new immigrant. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says........


'Thank you Mr. Australian for letting me in this country, giving me housing, money for food, free medical care, free education and no taxes!'

The passer by says, 'You are mistaken, I am Afghani!'


The man goes on and encounters another passer by. 'Thank you for having such beautiful country here in Australia!'

The person says, 'I not Australian, I Iraqi!'


The new arrival walks further and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful Australia!

'That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Pakistan, I am not from Australia!'


He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you an Australian?'

She says, 'No, I am from India!'


Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the Australians?'

[bindujain]

There was pet shop where parrots trained on computer were being sold.

Seeing the advertisement on paper one client [ potential buyer] has come and enquired about the parrots and their price.

There were three parrots which were trained on computer and the owner of the shop explains.

1. The first parrot is expert in sending mails thru computer. If you say something it will compose the mail and sent it. It costs Rs 500 he said.

The client surprised and curious to know the rest.

2. The second parrot not only composes mail of your content and also takes the copy of the mail from printer. It is trained with multiple skills and costs Rs 750 he said.

The client becomes so happy hearing this and becomes nervous to know the skills of the third one.

3.The owner said the third parrot costs 3000,but I am not able to say its ability like the others.

The curious client asks why it is costlier than the rest even though you donot have any details about what it does.

The owner said I too wonder but the above parrots call the third as “Project Manager” That’s why.!!!

[bindujain]

Cylinder ki lambi line dekh kar pappu gusse me bola :

Abhi PM k Pichwade pe laat maar ke aata hun


kuccch der baaad wo wapas line mein laga ...

Dost ne puccha -
Maar aaya? ?

Pappu :
waha isse bhi lambi line lagi hai

[bindujain]

Santa died and went to heaven.
When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to advances in education on earth.

In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days a week that begin with `T', and
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

Santa thought for a few minutes and
answered…

1 The two days that begin with `T' are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are twelve seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said,`OK, I'll buy Today and Tomorrow,
even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.
But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?'

Santa replied , `Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,etc…

Saint Peter let him in without another word.

[bindujain]

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.

They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, "Rest in Peace."

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir,I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this... somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, 'Congratulation on your new location.'''

[bindujain]

Wrong email address:

A couple were going on vacation but the wife was on a business trip so husband reached to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, while typing her email address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell on the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the
screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

[bindujain]

Prove that 2/10=2

Ans : Normal college students insist Question is "OUT of Syllabus".

but

Engineering Students replied:

2=two,
10=ten.

therefore Two/Ten = Two/Ten = wo/en.

w=23,
o=15,
e=5,
n=14.

therefore

w+o=23+15=38 & e+n=5+14=19

Therefore wo/en=38/19=2.

Hence Proved

FOR, Engineers " It doesn't matter ans kya hai, they only need to know ans kya lana he."

[bindujain]

Fully integrated ID card system in India

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."

Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose ID card number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's he..., hold........ ..on..... .889861356102049 998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... You're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jal Vayu. Your home number is 22678893, your office 25076666 and your mobile is 09869798888. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 05, Sir. The total is Rs 500.00"

Customer: "Can I pay by! Credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23,000.75 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your Nano Car..."

Customer: " What!"

Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a Nano car,...registration number GZ-05-AB-1107. ."

Customer: " ????"

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... By the way... Aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic.... ... "

Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir.. Remember on 15th July 2010 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman... ?"

Customer: [Faints]