Funny Jokes....

[raju]

After death, Sardarji reached the door of the heaven smoothly. There he met gate keeping angel, the angel said, 'Well, Sardarji, It is nice to talk to you but we have changed our policy these days. I will ask you a question and you need to answer it correctly before you go in, and Sardarji with lot of self confidence told Saint Peter to go ahead and ask him the damn question.



Angel : How many seconds are there in a year?
Sardarji: After lot of thought, answered,' twelve'.
Angel : Asked him - But how?
Sardarji: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd.........

[raju]

Ticket Checker [TC] to Santa: Ticket dikhao...

Santa: Yeh lo...

TC: Yeh to purani hai...

Santa: To train kaunsi nayi hai.

[raju]

One Sardar fed up with all Sardar scenarios and went to doctor.
He asked doctor to put 1 Kg of brain in his head.

He asked about the cost. Doctor asked him whose brain it should be?
It depends on that.

Doctor explaining about brain cost
"If Engineers Brain - Rs. 1000 per gram"
"If Doctors Brain - Rs. 1200 per gram"
"If Lawyers Brain - Rs. 2000 per gram"

Sardar questioned "What about a Sardar's ?"
Doctor answered "Its too costly, Rs. 100000 per Gram"

Sardar is happy about the cost of Sardar's brain and he think its precious,
but asked doctor with anxiety

"Why? Doctor, Its so costly".

Doctor explained "Because to collect 1 gram brain,
do you know how many Sardars are needed?"

[raju]

Sardar, Dosti, Bike aur Ladki?

Two sardarjis (Prajees) were friends. They used to go together in office by bus.

One day one of them was waiting for the other at the bus stop.

Suddenly the other one came on a BIKE (Hero Honda).

First one asked "waa! Prajee!! Kammal ho gaya. Kiska bike Leke aayya?

Second one told " Arre ! Lottery Lag Gayi.

First one said " Mujhe batao yaar, phir mein bhi loonga "

He started telling.... "Arre yesterday late night I was coming from a friend's home.

It was so late that I couldn't catch any bus, auto. After some time one BIKE was coming.

So I asked for lift. That person asked me "where do u want to go?"

I told, "wherever u want." by that time I recognised that THE BIKE WALA was a girl not boy.

She drove fast and stopped at an ultra SUNSAN JAGAHA. She put off her helmet first. And then clothes lastly.
She was totally NAKED..

Then she told " Le! tujhe jo mangta hai woh le le"

I took the BIKE and ran away.

First Sardarji said "Arre! Accha Kiya Yaar.. ! nahi to bhi ladkiyon ke kapde apne ko kis kaamke?"

[raju]

Santa Singh and his wife were returning to their seats in the dark theater after intermission.

Santa Singh asked the fellow on the aisle, "did someone step on your foot on the way out
for intermission?"


"Yes, you did," the fellow replied, expecting an apology.

"Okay honey," the Santa Singh said. "This is our row."

[raju]

In a marrige party Daler mendi was talking to santaji..

Daler:- Bhai kitni der hor mein gawan?
Santa:- Bas ek-do gaane aur gaa de fir to apne
yahan ke sardar generator ki awaz pe naachenge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[raju]

The Titanic is going to be drowned.... Everybody in the ship is
shouting,
crying, running or praying to God...
Just then an Italian asks the nearby Sardarji in the ship.
Italian : How far is land, from here ?
Sardarji : Two miles ..
Italian : Only two miles, Then why
are these fools making noise. I have
got
the experience of swimming even more. The Italian jumps off the ship
into
the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again.
Italian : Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here?
Sardarji : Downwards

[raju]

Once a sardarji tries to cheat the Indianrailways.
He is thinking for a novel idea.
He thinks a lot and finally he did one thing, he bought the ticket and didn't travel.

[raju]

Santa singh: Can u spell a word tht has more than 1000
letters in it?
Banta singh: Post office.

************************************************** ************************

What is the full form of singh : s -sardar i -insaan n -nahi g -gadha h -hai.

************************************************** ************************

Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?

They're there for those who don't drink.

************************************************** ************************


How Does a Sardar Cheat the Railways??

He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !!!!!!!!

************************************************** ************************

One evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with
pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way...

Friend: why are you pushing your scooter manually?

Sardarji: 'I forgot to bring the scooter key from my
home.
Friend: 'Is it! Then, How did you come to office from
home in the morning?'

Sardarji: 'I was pushing my scooter from home to office
also in the morning.

************************************************** ********** **************

One day a Sardarji talking with his friend.......
Sardarji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we
will not be able to communicate with my child.

Friend: Is it! Why?

Sardarji: We have adopted a telugu child and it will
start to speak after 6 months.


************************************************** *************************

BEPPO SINGH WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL.
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Beppo Singh: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Beppo Singh: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure,
and the answer is 6!!

************************************************** *************************

BEPPO SINGH NEEDS VITAMINS FOR GRANDSON.
Beppo Singh: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Beppo Singh: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the
alphabet yet!!

************************************************** *************************

Jasmeet Kaur watched her husband Santa Singh searching
high and low, all over the living room.

She asked him: "What are you so frantically searching?"
Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?"
Santa:"Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on
television saying ....'You are watching the Star World channel'? "How can
he know what I am watching?"


************************************************** *************************
Sardar:Aap kitna padhe ho?
Friend: B.A.
Sardar: kamal karte ho yaar sirf do word padhe aur woh bhi ulte.

************************************************** *************************

A friend asks sardar how was ur exam?
Sardar: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK. I thought,
thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'.

************************************************** *************************
Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai
deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.

************************************************** *************************

Ek sardar jhad pe bethkar gaa rahe the, achanak ek aur
sardar jhad se ulta latak ke gaane laga, dusre ne pucha ki ulta kyon
latka hai, dosre Sardar bola, "Oye, side B gaa raha hun."

[anjaan]

Sardar Banta Singh went to the emergency room with the tip of his index finger blown off.

"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.

"Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta Singh replied.

The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"

"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.