Humour Unlimited

[abhisays]

[abhisays]

[abhisays]

[abhisays]

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he's wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a demon...

Demon: Why so glum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell!
Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. Are you a drinking man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Demon: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and Fresca... we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy: Gee that sounds great!
Demon: You a smoker?
Guy: You know it!
Demon: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie- you're already dead, remember?
Guy: Wow...that's...awesome!
Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why, yes I do.
Demon: Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever... If you go Bankrupt...well, you're dead anyhow.
Demon: You into drugs?
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean?...
Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want; you're dead who cares! O.D.!!
Guy: WOW !! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!!
Demon: You gay?
Guy: No....
Demon: "Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays."

[abhisays]

Why I Hate C.I. D:
An Example:
LADY: Rahul Mera Bhai tha
DAYA: Kya ?? Rahul tumhara Bhai tha?
LADY: Haan, Rahul Mera Bhai tha
ABHIJEET: Rahul Sach me tumhara Bhai tha???
LADY: Haan Sir... !! Woh Mera Bhai tha
ACP: My God, Iska Matlab,
Tum RAHUL Ki Bahen Ho..= D

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Dr: Kya hua?? Kaise aana hua??
Santa: Kuch nahin. Tabiyat theek nahin lagti.

Dr: Sharab peete ho kya??

Santa: ummmm... Theek hai. Ek chhota peg bana do.

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People say Love brings Spice, Tears, Happiness, Flavour & Taste to your Life...
.
.
BUT
Yeh Sub Cheezain Hi Chahiye To Banda GOL GAPPAY Na Khalay

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[abhisays]

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop, with them are their 8 children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and her eight children are able to fit in the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.

After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind
man and says to him. "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the
end of your stick, that ticking sound is driving me crazy!!"

The blind man replies: "If you would've put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd be sitting in the bus.

[abhisays]