Humour Unlimited

[abhisays]

Introduction:
Roshan D'Mello (QA Tester)
Developer (Mukesh Thakur)

Roshan D'Mello: Hey Mukesh, there is a bug in your code. Type a text in
username text box and press enter. Beep sound doesn't appear.

Mukesh Thakur: How can that be a bug? There is no requirement that beep
sound should come. Anyway, I will assign it to offshore and get it
fixed.


After 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur : Roshan, bug is fixed. Please verify.



After another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug because sound is not coming in
some PCs. Sound is coming in my machine, but my colleague Rajat Choudhry
is not getting the sound.



After another 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. I observed that your friend Rajat Choudhry has
Old IBM machine. Unlike your DELL machine, IBM machines do not have inbuilt
speakers. So, to hear the sound in Rajat Choudhry's machine, please use
head phones and then get the bug closed soon.



Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug because sound tone is
Different across different machines. Sound is coming as 'BEEP' in my
machine, but
My colleague Rajat Choudhry who is having IBM machine is getting the sound
as 'TONG'.

Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. Get lost man. What can we do for the bug? The
Two machines are built in such a way that they produce different sounds. Do
You expect the developers to rebuild the IBM processors to make them
uniform?
Please close it.



Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug because intensity of beep
Sound produced on 2 different DELL machines is different. My machine produces
Beep sound of intensity 10 decibels whereas my friend's machine produces
Sound worth 20 decibels. Fix your code to make the sound uniform across all
machines.



Another 2 days later,

Mukesh Thakur : Once again it is not a bug. I have noticed that the
Volume set is different on the two machines. Ensure that volume is same in both
The machines before I get mad and then close the bug.



Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug.

Mukesh Thakur : What ?? Why? What more stupid reasons can be there for
re-opening?

Roshan D'Mello: Sound intensity is different for machines placed at
different locations (different buildings). So, I have re-opened it.



After 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur : I have made some scientists do an acoustical analysis of
the
two buildings you used for testing. They have observed that the
acoustics in the two buildings varies to a large extent. That is why
sound intensity
is different across the 2 buildings. So, I beg you to please close the
bugs.



After 1 year

Roshan D'Mello : I am re-opeing the bug. During the year, I requested
The clients to arrange architects to build two buildings with same
Acoustical features, so that I can test it again. Now, when I tested,
I found that
intensity of sound still varying. So, I am re-opening the defect.

Mukesh Thakur : GROWLLLL.....I am really mad now. I am sure that the
Sound waves of the two buildings are getting distorted due to some background
noice or something. Now I need to waste time to prove that it is because
of background noice.

Roshan D'Mello : No need for that. We will put the machines and run
them in vacuum and see.

Mukesh Thakur: ??
Result-----------------------
He is now in mental asylum while Roshan D'Mello has become QA Manager....:-)

[ndhebar]

Advantages of a GUN over WIFE

#10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9 - You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8 - If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7 - Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6 - Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5 - A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4 - Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3 - A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2 - A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

#1 - You can buy a silencer for a gun

My favorite is second one

[ndhebar]

Which is the most Dangerous

Letter in English ??

The Answer is "W"...as in Wrong

"W" is a tension generator...

because all the worries and troubles get begins with"W"...

Who ? Why?

What ? When ?

Which ? Whom??

Where ?

War...

Wine...Whisky... Women...

Wealth

And finally .......

You have to accept this :

WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.......

WIFE.....

[ndhebar]

Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman"..

[ndhebar]

Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."

[ndhebar]

BOY & GIRL

BOY: May I hold your hand?
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY: You love me...
GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY: Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY: Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY: I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL: How soon??

BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there??

[ndhebar]

who made Ganesh to Anesh...????

ThinK......

Think......

okay.....

" KAILASH KHER "

tere naam se " G " loon....

[ndhebar]

Two Nuns

There were two nuns..
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical, arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical,.
Then Sister Logical, arrives.
SM: Sister Logical,! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,
Say two Hail Marys!

[ndhebar]

God said, 'Adam, I
Want you to do
Something for Me.'

Adam said, 'Gladly,
Lord, what do You
Want me to do?'

God said, 'Go down
Into that valley.'

Adam said, 'What's a Valley?'

God explained it to
Him. Then God said,
'Cross the river.'

Adam said, 'What's a River?'

God explained that
To him, and then said,
'Go over to the hill....'
Adam said, 'What is a
Hill?'

So, God explained to
Adam what a hill was.

He told Adam, 'On
The other side of the
Hill you will find a
Cave.'

Adam said, 'What's a
Cave?'After God explained,
He said, 'In the cave
You will find a woman.'

Adam said, 'What's a Woman?'
So God explained
That to him, too.

Then, God said, 'I
Want you to
Reproduce.'

Adam said, 'How do
I do that?'

God first said (under
His breath), 'Geez.....'

And then, just like Everything else, God Explained that to
Adam, as well.So, Adam goes down
Into the valley,

Across the river, and
Over the hill, into the
Cave, and finds the
Woman.

Then, in about five Minutes, he was back.

God, His patience
Wearing thin, said
Angrily, 'What is it
Now?'

And Adam said....
*
*
*

'What's a headache?'

[dipu]

nice one ...................