Mullah Nasruddin Jokes

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin approached a genteel-appearing, elderly man with his tale of woe and a request
for assistance. The old gentleman refused him, saying, "I am sorry, my friend, I have no
money, but I can give you some good advice."
The Mulla said in a disgusted tone, "No thanks, IF YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY, I DON'T GUESS YOUR ADVICE IS WORTH ANYTHING, SIR."

[anjaan]

A man said to his friend Mulla Nasrudin: "Who is the boss in your house?" "Well," said Nasrudin,
"my wife assumes command of the children, the servants, the dog and the parakeet. BUT I SAY
PRETTY MUCH WHAT I PLEASE TO THE GOLDFISH."

[anjaan]

A young man had just passed his examination for his private pilot's license. He wanted to show
off and persuaded the Mulla Nasrudin to go up with him.
When they landed, the Mulla said: "Thanks for the two rides." "What do you mean,two rides, Uncle?" asked the young man. "You
had only one." "Oh no," said Nasrudin. "TWO. MY FIRST AND MY LAST."

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin was lying beside the wrecked car with a broken leg. He was being questioned by
the highway patrolman. "Married?" asked the patrolman. "NO," said Nasrudin. "THIS IS THE
WORST MESS I HAVE EVER BEEN IN."

[anjaan]

The housewife gave Mulla Nasrudin a sandwich, but asked him, "Haven't you been able to find
work?" "Yes, Lady, there is plenty of work," said the Mulla, "but everybody wants a reference
from my last employer."
"Can't you get one?" she asked. "NO," said Nasrudin. "HE HAS BEEN DEAD TWENTY YEARS."

[anjaan]

"What in the world happened at the picnic yesterday?" a fellow asked Mulla Nasrudin. "They are
saying around the tavern that you acted like a coward." "Well, I am no fool," the Mulla said.

"Some of the girls found a big hornet's nest in the of a tree and dared me to climb up and
get it. And I just didn't do it, that's all." "Whether you were smart or not," said the friend, "That
sort of thing makes you unhonored and unsung around here."
"THAT'S RIGHT," said Nasrudin, "BUT I AM ALSO UNHARMED AND UNSTUNG."

[anjaan]

A drunk cowhand rushed into a bar waving and firing his guns at random and shouting, "All you
dirty, lousy skunks get outta here." Within a minute everybody had scattered and disappeared
except Mulla Nasrudin, who sat at the bar finishing his drink. "Well," barked the cowhand,
waving his smoking gun. "What about it?" "My," said the Mulla, "THERE WERE CERTAINLY A
LOT OF THEM, WEREN'T THEY?"

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin always said: "Oh, well, it might have been worse." One day an acquaintance
sped him and said, "I dreamed last night that I died, went to hell, and was doomed to
everlasting torment." "Oh, well," said Nasrudin, "it might have been worse." "What do you
mean, Mulla!" cried the man. "How could it have been worse?" "IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN TRUE,"
said Nasrudin.

[anjaan]

"You have got to have more recreation and relaxation," said Mulla Nasrudin to the overworked
friend. "But I am too busy," said the friend. "THAT'S SILLY," replied Nasrudin. "ANTS HAVE THE
GREATEST REPUTATION FOR BEING BUSY ALL THE TIME, YET THEY NEVER MISS AN
OPPORTUNITY TO ATTEND A PICNIC."

[anjaan]

Mulla Nasrudin was visited by a boyhood friend whom he had not seen for years. The man told
him a long story of misfortune: bankruptcy, death of wife and children, personal illness. He
ended by asking for a loan. The Mulla called his son and a big, athletic-type walked in.
"TOMMY," said Nasrudin, "THROW THIS POOR FELLOW DOWNSTAIRS; HE IS BREAKING MY
HEART."