Humour Unlimited

[abhisays]

Two newlyweds go on their honeymoon. As they start getting hot and heavy, the woman says, "Please be careful with me—I'm a virgin."

The puzzled man replies, "But you've been married three times before."

"I know," she says. "My first husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. My second husband was a gynecologist and he just wanted to look at it. And my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was—God, I miss him."

[abhisays]

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered.”
The second said, “I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order.”
The third said, “I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded.”
The fourth one said, “I like to operate on lawyers. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their a*s are interchangeable.”

[abhisays]

[abhisays]

[abhisays]

a marwari joke that still bring a smile

a marwari was on his death bed.all his family members were crowded around him.Suddenly he spoke

marwari-raju,sweta,puja,sab bache log kahaa hai?
his wife-arre sab yahi hain,aap ke paas...
marwari- aur mere dono bete aur unki biwi?
wife- arre sab yahii hai,chinta mat kariye aap...

marwari- phir woh samne room ka fan kyu on hai,current ka bill kaun bharega,tera baap???????

[abhisays]

There is another alteration..

a marwari was on his death bed.all his family members were crowded around him.Suddenly he spoke

marwari-raju,sweta,puja,sab bache log kahaa hai?
his wife-arre sab yahi hain,aap ke paas...
marwari- aur mere dono bete aur unki biwi?
wife- arre sab yahii hai,chinta mat kariye aap...

marwari- phir dukan mein kaun hai ?

[abhisays]

[abhisays]

[abhisays]

A big game hunter went on a safari with his wife and mother-in-law.

One morning, while still deep in the jungle, the hunter's wife awakened to find her mother gone.

She woke her husband, and they both set off in search of the old woman. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight.

The mother-in-law was standing face to face with a ferocious lion. "What are we going to do?" his horrified wife asked.

"Nothing," her husband replied, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it....!!!!!!"

[abhisays]

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh summons the secretary and asks him "How come these Gujaratis know everything before anyone else knows about it"

Secretary: There is a phrase in Gujarati "Shu Khabar?

Manmohan Singh: What does that mean?

Secretary: It means "Whats the news" and each Gujjubhai asks this to other whenever they meet and the answers given by the other one circulates the news very fast and they happen to know everything the fastest.

PM decides to experience this so he removes his turban and disguises himself and dresses typically like a Gujrarati and reaches Ghatkopar the typical Gujju hub of Mumbai city.

He sees one Gujjubhai and asks him "Shu Khabar?"

The Gujjubhai replies "Salo Manmohaniyo Ghatkopar ma aavyo chhe em sambhaliyu chhe".