Humour Unlimited

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Kapil Naam Ka Ek Aadmi Fauj Mein Major Tha
Usko Log Kaafi Smart Aur Intelligent Bola Karte The
Ek Din Faujiyo Ki Ek Party Chal Rahi Thi. Usmein Ek Ladki Aayi

Usne Kapil Se Pucha: “Aap Log To Fauj Mein Rehte Ho, Desh Ki Seva Mein Busy Rehte Ho, Aapne Last Time Sex Kab Kiya Tha?”

Kapil Ne Kuch Socha Aur Bola: “1955”

Ladki Khush Hote Hue: “Wow, Yeh Toh Bahut Time Ho Gaya, Kya Aap Abhi Mere Sath Sex Karna Chahenge?”

Kapil Ne Apni Watch Dekhi Aur Muskurate Hue Bola: “Nahin Dear Abhi Nahin, Abhi Toh Sirf 2035 Hue Hai, Thodi Der Baad Karenge“

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Girl: What Is Your Name?

Boy: "Black Lion"

Girl: You Are Joking, Right?

Boy: No, It Means, "Kaloo Singh"

Girl: Oh! Okay.

Boy: So, What Is Your Name?

Girl: "Soft Underwear"

Boy: “Now Who Is Joking, Huh?”

Girl: “No Yaar. It Means, "Komal Chaddha"

[abhisays]

Ladkiyon Ki Shaadi Jab Hoti Hai To Unki Friends Unki Suhaag Raat Pe Apni Friend Se Kya Kehti Hain?

1980: Dulha Bhai Jo Kare, Unko Kar Lene Dena

1990: Jo Bhi Ho Bardaasht Kar Lena, Rokna Mat

2000: Fikar Na Kar Yaar, Tujhe To Sab Pata Hai

2010: Yaar Koi Naya Style Pata Chale To Mujhe Bhi Batana Plz

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[IMG]http://img600.imageshack.us/img600/4937/iam****.jpg[/IMG]

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[abhisays]

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress R5000.
Tux rental-R200.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks..
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is R180.95 for a three-pack.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neckYou can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife..
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.