Laloo Jokes

Awara · 20-12-2012, 09:27 AM

Laloo Jokes

Awara · 20-12-2012, 09:27 AM

Laallooo Prasad Yadav gave a speech to "pharin delegation" from Amrika. The topic of the speech was COWW

What is a Cow
HE IS THE COW. The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks, (but will do so when he is got child.). He is same like - God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilized for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. (Horses don't have any such attachment.)

Use of a cow
What can it do? Various - ghee, butter, cream, curd, and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species. Also, his other motion... (gobar) is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making Pizza that can be used for heating oneself in winter. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chews with his teeth who are situated in the inside of the mouth.

Tailing a cow
He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies, which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he, gives hit with it.

I am now ending this fastly. My God blast you! Thank you and thank God I am finished. Jay Hind!"

Awara · 20-12-2012, 09:31 AM

Laloo becomes PM and goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Nawaz Sharif.They decide to meet without aides and are closeted for about 5 minutes. Laloo then emerges from the room. Reporters clamour for a statement. "Nawazbhai will make the announcement" is all Laloo will say. Nawaz Sharif comes out and drops a bombshell - Pakistan has decided to give up all claims on Kashmir, with no strings attached! The world is stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had failed to in 50 years! How did you do it, what did you promise, the press clamours. "Sab akai-waalon ka kamaal hai," (All because of the Akai company people) says Laloo. "Woh kehte hain na, TV loge tho fridge doonga, video khareedein to cellphone free (They give fridge free if you buy TV, cellphone free if you buy VCR )... tho ham bhi Nawazbhai se keh diye: "aapko Kashmir chaahiye na? Le jaayie. Magar saath mein Bihar free milega, bas!" (SO, I said to Nawazbhai - "You want Kashmir, right? Take it. But you will get Bihar free with it!")

Awara · 20-12-2012, 09:31 AM

Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...

Awara · 20-12-2012, 09:31 AM

Laloos family planning policy."DONT HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR"

At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the
bartender,"JOHNNIE WALKER,SINGLE." And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite Sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me only 5 months to do it," Laloo brags. "Five months? That's too long." the friend exclaims. "You are a fool," Laloo replies."Read the box, It says 5-7 years."

Awara · 20-12-2012, 09:32 AM

Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don't Laugh). As she stood in front of yamraj , she saw a huge wall of clocks behind. She asked, "What are all those clocks?" Yamraj answered, "Those are LieClocks. Everyone on Earth has a LieClock.Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said Rabri, "Who's clock is that?"That's Gautam Buddha's. The hands have never moved indicating that he
never told a lie. "And whose clock is that? "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life." Rabri asked, "Where's my Laloo's clock?" Laloo"s clock is in my office", replied yamraj, "I'm using it as a ceiling fan.

Awara · 20-12-2012, 09:32 AM

Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar.The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated,`Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan.` Laloo was very surprised. `You Japanese are very inepicient (inefficient),` he stated.`Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the next Bihar!`

A reporter asked Laloo "What the main reason for divorce?" Laloo replies "Marriage".

Awara · 20-12-2012, 09:32 AM

In an interview,
Interviewer: Lalooji aapne apne beti ki shaadi ke liye zabardasti gaadi le li car showroom se. Iske baare mein aapko kya kehna kya hai?

Laloo: Arrey hum thodi zabardasti karna chaahte the. Hum prem se pooche rahe to oo boley nahi de sakte. Ab aur kouno chaara hi nahi tha ka karen

Awara · 20-12-2012, 09:33 AM

Once Laloo prasad yadav took some photos with a herd of buffaloes , Next day the photo appeared on the front page of a Bihari newspaper. Guess the caption!! 'Laloo,third from left!'

Awara · 20-12-2012, 09:33 AM

STATE OF BIHAR DRIVING LICEN APPLIKASON PHA-RUM

NOTE: If you dont know the answers, please capi fram another applikason pharum and submit. For further instruktions, see battum
applikason.

Please do not shoot the person at the applikason kounter. He will give
you the lisen immediately.

(Check appropriate box)

Last name:
(_) Yadav
(_) Sinha
(_) Pandey
(_) Mishra
(_) do not know

First name:
(_) Ramprasad
(_) Lakhan
(_) Sivaprasad
(_) Jamnaprasad
(_) Dont know

Age:
(_) Less than zero
(_) Zero
(_) Greater than zero
(_) Don't know

Sex:
____ M _____ F _____ not sure _____ not applicable

Chappal Size:
____ Left ____ Right

Occupasion:
(_) Politician
(_) Doodhwala
(_) Pehelwaan
(_) House wife
(_) Un-employed

Number of children living in household:
___
Number tha t are yours: ___
Mother\'s Name: _______________________
Father\'s Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)

Ejjucason:
1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you bathe?

(_) Yes (_) No Not applicable

If yes, how often do you bathe?
(_) Weekly
(_) Monthly
(_) Yearly
Color of teeth:
(_) Yellow
(_) Brownish-Yellow
(_) Brown
(_) Black
(_) Others - Give exact color (call nearest Asian Paints dealer if U
dont know the color of your teeth)

How far is your home from a paved road?
(_)1 mile (_)2 miles (_)don\'t know

_________________________
(Your thumb imparesson)
....contd....

20-12-2012, 09:27 AM	#1
Awara Special Member Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: फूटपाथ Posts: 3,861 Rep Power: 23	Laloo Jokes Laloo Jokes

20-12-2012, 09:27 AM	#2
Awara Special Member Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: फूटपाथ Posts: 3,861 Rep Power: 23	Re: Laloo Jokes Laallooo Prasad Yadav gave a speech to "pharin delegation" from Amrika. The topic of the speech was COWW What is a Cow HE IS THE COW. The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks, (but will do so when he is got child.). He is same like - God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilized for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. (Horses don't have any such attachment.) Use of a cow What can it do? Various - ghee, butter, cream, curd, and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species. Also, his other motion... (gobar) is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making Pizza that can be used for heating oneself in winter. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chews with his teeth who are situated in the inside of the mouth. Tailing a cow He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies, which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he, gives hit with it. I am now ending this fastly. My God blast you! Thank you and thank God I am finished. Jay Hind!"

20-12-2012, 09:31 AM	#3
Awara Special Member Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: फूटपाथ Posts: 3,861 Rep Power: 23	Re: Laloo Jokes Laloo becomes PM and goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Nawaz Sharif.They decide to meet without aides and are closeted for about 5 minutes. Laloo then emerges from the room. Reporters clamour for a statement. "Nawazbhai will make the announcement" is all Laloo will say. Nawaz Sharif comes out and drops a bombshell - Pakistan has decided to give up all claims on Kashmir, with no strings attached! The world is stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had failed to in 50 years! How did you do it, what did you promise, the press clamours. "Sab akai-waalon ka kamaal hai," (All because of the Akai company people) says Laloo. "Woh kehte hain na, TV loge tho fridge doonga, video khareedein to cellphone free (They give fridge free if you buy TV, cellphone free if you buy VCR )... tho ham bhi Nawazbhai se keh diye: "aapko Kashmir chaahiye na? Le jaayie. Magar saath mein Bihar free milega, bas!" (SO, I said to Nawazbhai - "You want Kashmir, right? Take it. But you will get Bihar free with it!")

20-12-2012, 09:31 AM	#4
Awara Special Member Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: फूटपाथ Posts: 3,861 Rep Power: 23	Re: Laloo Jokes Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...

20-12-2012, 09:31 AM	#5
Awara Special Member Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: फूटपाथ Posts: 3,861 Rep Power: 23	Re: Laloo Jokes Laloos family planning policy."DONT HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR" At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender,"JOHNNIE WALKER,SINGLE." And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED." After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite Sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me only 5 months to do it," Laloo brags. "Five months? That's too long." the friend exclaims. "You are a fool," Laloo replies."Read the box, It says 5-7 years."

20-12-2012, 09:32 AM	#6
Awara Special Member Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: फूटपाथ Posts: 3,861 Rep Power: 23	Re: Laloo Jokes Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don't Laugh). As she stood in front of yamraj , she saw a huge wall of clocks behind. She asked, "What are all those clocks?" Yamraj answered, "Those are LieClocks. Everyone on Earth has a LieClock.Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said Rabri, "Who's clock is that?"That's Gautam Buddha's. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie. "And whose clock is that? "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life." Rabri asked, "Where's my Laloo's clock?" Laloo"s clock is in my office", replied yamraj, "I'm using it as a ceiling fan.

20-12-2012, 09:32 AM	#7
Awara Special Member Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: फूटपाथ Posts: 3,861 Rep Power: 23	Re: Laloo Jokes Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar.The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated,`Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan.` Laloo was very surprised. `You Japanese are very inepicient (inefficient),` he stated.`Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the next Bihar!` A reporter asked Laloo "What the main reason for divorce?" Laloo replies "Marriage".

20-12-2012, 09:32 AM	#8
Awara Special Member Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: फूटपाथ Posts: 3,861 Rep Power: 23	Re: Laloo Jokes In an interview, Interviewer: Lalooji aapne apne beti ki shaadi ke liye zabardasti gaadi le li car showroom se. Iske baare mein aapko kya kehna kya hai? Laloo: Arrey hum thodi zabardasti karna chaahte the. Hum prem se pooche rahe to oo boley nahi de sakte. Ab aur kouno chaara hi nahi tha ka karen

20-12-2012, 09:33 AM	#9
Awara Special Member Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: फूटपाथ Posts: 3,861 Rep Power: 23	Re: Laloo Jokes Once Laloo prasad yadav took some photos with a herd of buffaloes , Next day the photo appeared on the front page of a Bihari newspaper. Guess the caption!! 'Laloo,third from left!'

20-12-2012, 09:33 AM	#10
Awara Special Member Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: फूटपाथ Posts: 3,861 Rep Power: 23	Re: Laloo Jokes STATE OF BIHAR DRIVING LICEN APPLIKASON PHA-RUM NOTE: If you dont know the answers, please capi fram another applikason pharum and submit. For further instruktions, see battum applikason. Please do not shoot the person at the applikason kounter. He will give you the lisen immediately. (Check appropriate box) Last name: (_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Mishra (_) do not know First name: (_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivaprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dont know Age: (_) Less than zero (_) Zero (_) Greater than zero (_) Don't know Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ not sure _____ not applicable Chappal Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupasion: (_) Politician (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed Number of children living in household: ___ Number tha t are yours: ___ Mother\'s Name: _______________________ Father\'s Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank) Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed) Do you bathe? (_) Yes (_) No Not applicable If yes, how often do you bathe? (_) Weekly (_) Monthly (_) Yearly Color of teeth: (_) Yellow (_) Brownish-Yellow (_) Brown (_) Black (_) Others - Give exact color (call nearest Asian Paints dealer if U dont know the color of your teeth) How far is your home from a paved road? (_)1 mile (_)2 miles (_)don\'t know _________________________ (Your thumb imparesson) ....contd....