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Old 28-04-2012, 11:01 PM   #211
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Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends.

You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

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Old 28-04-2012, 11:01 PM   #212
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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger."

The other replied, "Yes I am. I married the wrong man."

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Old 28-04-2012, 11:02 PM   #213
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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
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Old 28-04-2012, 11:02 PM   #214
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When a newly married man looks happy; we know why.

But when a man who is married for ten years looks happy - we wonder why.

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Old 28-04-2012, 11:02 PM   #215
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Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

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Old 28-04-2012, 11:03 PM   #216
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After a quarrel, a wife said to the husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."

The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."


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Old 28-04-2012, 11:04 PM   #217
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Young Boy: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad: "That happens in most countries, son."

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Old 28-04-2012, 11:05 PM   #218
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Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

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Old 28-04-2012, 11:05 PM   #219
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A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the new doctors. after about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. an older doctor stopped her and asked her what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down in another room and told her to relax. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs.Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"

The new doctor calmly continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

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Old 28-04-2012, 11:06 PM   #220
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A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?"

He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry. I'm sure it will be all right."

The first nurse said, "She was just trying to comfort you. what's so frigtening about that?"

Patient: "She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"

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