Humour Unlimited

[abhisays]

Yamraj asked to 3 ladies..
.
.
“ kabhii kiss kiya hai ??
.
1st lady: shadi se pehle
.
.
yamraj: nark me jao
.
2nd lady: shadi ke baad
.
yamraj: swarg me jao
.
.
.
.
3rd lady: kabhi nahi kiya
.
.
Yamraj: kone me aao…

[abhisays]

Boy:" Mere Paas Apne Dost Jaisi Car
To
Nahin
Par Tumhe Apni Palkon Pe Bitha ke
Ghumaunga!
.
Mere Paas Uss Jaisa Bada Bangla To
Nahin
Par Tumhe Apne Dil Mein Jagah
Dunga..
.
Mere Paas Uss ke Jitne Paise To
Nahin
Par Main Mehnat Kar ke Khilaunga .
.
Aur Tumhe Kya Chahiye.. ??
.
.
Girl:" ab bs kar pagle rulaega Kya

Apne Dost Ka Number de.

[abhisays]

Boy 2 doctor:-

Meri girlfriend pregnant hai. .
Par maine to protection li thi...

Doctor:-
Ek kahani suno
Ek shikari ek Gun ki jagah ek
umbrella le Gaya...
achanak Lion samne aaya toh usne
umbrella ka
handle khicha aur fire kiya...
Lion wahi mar Gaya...

Boy:-
Impossible...kisi aur ne goli mari
hogi...

Doctor :-
Ecaxtly ...!

[abhisays]

18 Unsaid fact About Engineers:

1. For engineers every course apart from engineering is easy.
2. An engineer has the power of getting up at 9.25 am and reaching the class at 9.30 am.
3. T-shirt and jeans are engineer's national dress and Maggi is the national food.
4. A normal person will fix the broken things but an engineer will first break a thing and then he would fix it.
5. An engineer can build a car, spaceship and they even can make time machine. However, he just can’t build a relationship with a girl.
6. An engineer doesn't care for the rise in price of petrol or gold but he gets mad when cigarette costs Rs.5.50 instead of 5.20.
7. An engineer loves to solve a problem. If there is no problem, then he will create one and would start solving it.
8. An engineer can derive any relation just give them the final expression.
9. Are you made of copper(CU) and tellurium(TE), because you’re CUTE. This is how engineers flirt.
10. An engineers’s worst nightmare is teacher taking the class but not taking the attendance.
11. An engineer can finish his syllabus in one night.
12. An Engineer knows nothing, but only an Engineer knows this.
13. An Engineer will never sleep in night and will never wake up in morning.
14. An Engineer is the most innocent person in front of his parents.
15. Never argue with an engineer because arguing with Engineers is like killing the mosquito on your cheek, you might or might not kill it, but you’ll end up slapping yourself.
16. The most common dialogue on the opening day of an engineering college is, “Bhai, iss saal bhi koi khaas ladkiya nahi hain!”
17. No one can speak better English than an engineer who is having a bottle of beer in his hand.
18. There is always a hidden folder in engineer's laptop.....

[abhisays]

Bill Gates: mera
ghar itna bada k ghar k ander
'local' train chalti h.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Rajnikanth: mera ghar itna bada h k
ghar k ek kone se dusre kone me
phone pe baat kro toh roaming lagti
hai..

[abhisays]

girls pc folder:
C\desktop\songs\romantic songs!
.
.
Boy's pc folder
.
.
.
C\windows\system32\drivers\studymaterial\important files\educational stuff\datastructure an alogrithims\SUNNYLEONE.

[abhisays]

Girl - What are you doing ?

Boy- I was doing a job with TIMES
OF INDIA..
but now I left job.
Girl-Oh God why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Boy-kaun sala subah subah uthe
aur paper
daalne jaaye..

[abhisays]

Log kehte hai ki 40,000/- ka royal
paint lagaye to ghar
rangeen dikhta he.
.
.
. . .
.
.
.
. .
. Are pagal 400/-ki ROYAL STAG piyo,
sara shehar rangeen dikhega..!...

[abhisays]

Impact of movies...
Teacher : Who is Mahatma Gandhi???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Student : He is the one who helped
Munna Bhai to impress his girlfriend.

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Nice.........