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Old 10-04-2017, 09:40 PM   #12921
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

टीचर: एक तरफ पैसा और दूसरी तरफ अक्ल हो तो तुम क्या चुनोगे?

पप्पू: जी पैसा।

टीचर: मैं होता तो अक्ल चुनता।

पप्पू: आप सही कह रहे हो सर, जिसके पास जिस चीज की कमी होती है, वह उसे ही चुनता है।
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Old 10-04-2017, 09:43 PM   #12922
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

बीवी गांव वाली हो या पढ़ी-लिखी, सभी औरतों का दिमाग ऊपर वाला एक ही फैक्टरी में बनाता है !!!!

*आप उस दिमाग को जानना चाहते हैं ना..*

चावल में पानी ज्यादा हुआ तो..
"चावल नया था,"

रोटियाँ कड़क हो गई तो...
"कमबख्त ने अच्छा आटा पीस कर ही नहीं दिया,"

चाय ज्यादा मीठी हो गयी...
"शक्कर ही मोटी थी"

चाय पतली हो गयी तो ...
"दूध में पानी ज्यादा था,"

शादी या किसी Function में जाते समय...
"कौन सी साड़ी पहनूं ?"
"मेरे पास अच्छी साड़ी ही नहीं है !"

घर पर जल्दी आ गए तो...
"आज जल्दी कैसे आ गए ?"

लेट हो गए तो....
"इतने वक़्त तक कहाँ थे ?"

कोई चीज सस्ती मिल जाए तो...
"तुमको सभी फंसा देते हैं" ...

महंगी लाई तो...
"तुमको किसने कहा था लाने को ?"

खाने की तारीफ़ कर दो तो.
"मैं तो रोज ऐसा ही खाना बनाती हूँ ."

खाने को गलत कहा तो...
"तुमको तो मेरी कदर ही नहीं"....

कोई काम करो तो...
"एक काम कभी ढंग से करते नहीं..".

और न किया तो...
"तुम्हारे भरोसे रहे तो कोई काम नहीं होने वाला."..

नुस्खा यह है कि...
1 )खुद का ध्यान रखें,
2) शांत रहने का प्रयास करें.
3) डरना नहीं,
4) ईश्वर आपके साथ है...

सभी पुरुषों को प्रेषित

नोट: बीवी ने मैसेज पढ़ा तो इसके जिम्मेदार आप खुद। _-
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Old 10-04-2017, 10:00 PM   #12923
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

मुसीबतें उनका रास्ता कभी नहीं रोक सकतीं
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जिन्हें मोज़े के इलास्टिक ढीले होने पर उनमें रबरबैंड लगाकर 3-4 महीने और चलाने की कला आती हो।
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Old 10-04-2017, 11:15 PM   #12924
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

पप्पू: डॉक्टर साहब, मैं सुबह 6 बजे सुसु करता हूं।

डॉक्टर: तो इसमें परेशानी क्या है?

पप्पू: परेशानी यह है कि मैं उठता ही 8 बजे हूं।
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Old 11-04-2017, 09:30 PM   #12925
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

पप्पू, गप्पू के घर खाना खाने गया।

पप्पू: यार, तेरा कुत्ता मुझे घूर क्यों रहा है?

गप्पू: तू फटाफट खाना खा, शायद वह अपनी थाली पहचान गया है।
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Old 11-04-2017, 10:02 PM   #12926
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

दिल्ली वाले ने उत्तर प्रदेश के लडके से पुछा: यार..
ये ipl में तुम्हारी उत्तर प्रदेश के टीम क्यों नहीं खेलेती...
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उत्तर प्रदेश वाला लडका: अबे
सब क्रिकेट खेलेंगे तो सट्टा कौन खेलेगा बे.............
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Old 11-04-2017, 10:02 PM   #12927
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

लड़की देखने का *कार्यक्रम* तय हुआ। लड़के वाले बहुत सीधे लोग थे।

*लड़का* --- आपकी शिक्षा ?
*लड़की* --- MF. I.A.S.
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लड़के ने आगे डिग्री की detail यह सोचकर नहीं पूछी कि , कहीं लड़की उसे अशिक्षित ना समझे !!
बाद में वे लोग चले आये । और शादी भी हो गई।

शादी के बाद लड़के ने लड़की से पूछा कि ये
MF, IAS , क्या होता है
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उसने बताया ........

*Matric Fail In All Subjects* .
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लड़का 4 दिन से बेहोश हैं
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Old 12-04-2017, 09:21 PM   #12928
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

कर गयी घर मेरा खाली मैरे सो जाने के बाद
मुझको डर था कुछ होगा तेरे आने के बाद
इसलिए दोनों बार रपट लिखियी थी थाने में
एक तेरे आने से पहले एक तेरे जाने के बाद
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Old 12-04-2017, 09:26 PM   #12929
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

डॉक्टर: आप मरीज को 1 घंटे पहले लाते तो शायद हम इसे बचा पाते।

सोनू: 10 मिनट पहले तो इसका ऐक्सिडेंट हुआ है, 1 घंटे पहले जबरदस्ती थोड़ी ठोक लाते।
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Old 13-04-2017, 10:27 PM   #12930
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

सोहन: यार तुम कल इतने दुखी क्यों थे?

मोहन: मेरी पत्नी ने साड़ी के लिए मुझसे 2,000 रुपये लिए थे।

सोहन: ...लेकिन आज इतना खुश क्यों हो रहा है?

मोहन: मेरी पत्नी वही साड़ी पहनकर तुम्हारी पत्नी से मिलने जा रही है।
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