Funny Jokes....

[sunita]

Drunk Man & Priest

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained; his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

"My Son, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."

"Well, I’ll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.

"I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

[bhoomi ji]

a Chinese couple Mr. Hoyo & Mrs. Hoyo had white twin babies..
they named
Jo-Hoyo
So- Hoyo


next year they had one black baby..
they named.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Yo-Ki-Hoyo !!!!!!!!!!!!

[bhoomi ji]

piece of PHILOSOPHY from a passionate bunker.....

"a always THINK of attending classes regularly

but............

for THINKING i need to bunk

[bhoomi ji]

girl- dear, what is the difference between personal and secret?

boy- dear, you are my lover that's personal

and your friend is also my lover................

that's secret

[bhoomi ji]

class room is just like a train


1st two benches are RESERVED

middle 3 benches are general compartments


last two benches are VIP sleeper coaches

[antonhoton]

CHANDIGARH OR JALANDHAR

Santa was flying to Chandigarh from Pune. He was allotted a middle seat but decided to take the window seat instead, which had been allotted to an old lady.
The lady requested Santa to exchange the seats and let her sit on the seat allotted to her. He refused, saying, 'I want to see the view from the window.' The old lady complained to the air hostess who requested Santa to sit on his allotted middle seat. Santa was adamant and bluntly refused.
The air hostess went up to the co-pilot. He too came and requested Santa, but in vain.
Finally, the captain of the aircraft came. He whispered something in Santa's ears. Santa immediately vacated the window seat and took the middle seat.
Astonished, the air hostess and the co-pilot asked the captain what he had said to Santa. The captain replied: 'Nothing, I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others were going to Jalandhar.

[abhisays]

BRIGHT IDEA

Just married, Sukhwant had bad news for her husband when he returned home from his day's work. 'I feel so sorry,' Sukhwant said with a sob, 'I was pressing your best suit and burnt a hole in the seat of the trousers.'
'Don't worry, darling,' said the husband amorously, 'I have another pair of trousers to match that suit.'
'Yes, I know,' Sukhwant replied. 'You're lucky that you have. Thanks to that, I was able to patch up the

[abhisays]

GREED UNLIMITED

Lala Garib Chand was a wealthy zamindar. He asked his maneem (accountant) to add up all he owned and how long it could last. The muneem added up all his assets and assured him that it would certainly hold out till the traditional saat pusht — seven generations. Far from being relieved Lala Garib Chand looked more disconsolate than before and with a great sigh of sorrow exclaimed, Hai! Hamaaree aathveen pusht ka kya hogaV (Oh! What will happen to our eighth generation?)

[abhisays]

RIDDLE

Santa and Banta met on a village road. Santa was carrying a large gunny bag over his shoulder.

'Oye,

Santa,' hailed Banta, 'what is in the bag?'

'Murgiyan

— Chickens,' came the reply.
'If I guess how many, can I have one?' asked Banta

'You can have both of them.'

'OK,' said Banta, 'five.'

[abhisays]

INDIA — THE NEW MILLENNIUM

Cheer up my son, buck up my boy,
You are living in 'The Land of Joy'. You go to school where they do not teach,
In the House of God, they hatred preach. If you have merit, you will sigh and sob,
If you are backward, you might get a job. Out of caste, if you dare to wed,
Your kith and kin will chop your head. If you are honest, in north or in south,
You will live from hand to mouth. If you are wily and your means sinister,
You are likely to become a chief minister. But remember the new maxim, my lad,

Defection is good, conversion is bad.