Humour Unlimited

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A ship sank close to a deserted island and a group of passengers made it alive on the island. In the group there were:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman
One month later, on various parts of the island, the following was observed:

The Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman (y)

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman:>

The two Greek men are sleeping together, and the Greek woman is cooking & cleaning for them :s

The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island trying to sell them the Mexican woman =D

The two American men are contemplating suicide. The American woman is bitching about her body being fat. 8-|

The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Indian woman..

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Bihari Independence Day Speech.. !!

A Schoolmaster from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new School in Mumbai.

He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the school assembly on Independence Day.
Here's his dynamite speech :

Leddies and Gentulmens, Contemporaries, Children, "This is my first maiden speech. If small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon.

Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following reason. Too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I put complaint on stationmaster. He said me to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my son. Anyway I thanked the stationmaster because he was responsible for getting birth of my son.

We got independent because of great leadersz linke Gundhiji who get-outted all angrezi peoples from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our birth rate and we shall halve it.

Today we all have our birth-rate.You children are future dynamic generators of the Nation. Look into future time only. No backside looking, or looking at your behind.

Be like great like X' raj Ranjan of Germany or Presidents like Loosebelt, Dim Butter, Lipton etc. You know genius, no? It is one per cent perspiration and ninety seven percent evaporation.

They became great by reading great books. After we finish you off here in the school, you can go to college and get B.A., M.A., M.A.M.A and other decrease.

Then you can become great liars in the supreme courts, shattered accountants, or lecherers in college.

The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, classroom is the soil. We will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on your heads and one-day you all will become great phools.

Many vacancy job come in papers. Only yesterday I saw in paper "Wanted for refuted engineering firm: - Generators, highpower condensors" so and so forth, etc. These jobs may be teknickel, but you can shine.

If you have flare in English, you can become teacher.

I am now ending this fastly.

My God blast you!

Thank you and thank God!