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Old 28-11-2011, 02:53 AM   #41
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Default Re: Hollywood Wit : Classic Off-Screen Quips and Quotes
Roseanne went on Saturday Night Live and said I had a 3-inch penis. Well, even a 747 looks small if it's landing in the Grand Canyon.



-Tom Arnold (Ex-Husband Roseanne)
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Old 28-11-2011, 02:59 AM   #42
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Default Re: Hollywood Wit : Classic Off-Screen Quips and Quotes
A TV host asked my wife, "Have you ever considered divorce?" She replied, "Divorce never, murder often."



-Charlton Heston
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Old 28-11-2011, 03:06 AM   #43
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Default Re: Hollywood Wit : Classic Off-Screen Quips and Quotes
There's a group for men in Hollywood called Divorce Anonymous. It works like this : if a member of the group starts to feel the urge to divorce, they send over an accountant to talk him out of it.



-Sean Connery
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Old 28-11-2011, 03:12 AM   #44
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Default Re: Hollywood Wit : Classic Off-Screen Quips and Quotes
I never speak of my ex-husbands excepts under hypnosis.



-Joan Collins
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Old 02-12-2011, 05:38 AM   #45
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The monster was the best friend I ever had.



-Boris Karloff
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Old 02-12-2011, 05:45 AM   #46
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Default Re: Hollywood Wit : Classic Off-Screen Quips and Quotes
Most of my fellow picture stars I only know well enough to sneer at.



-Constance Bennett
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Old 02-12-2011, 05:50 AM   #47
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Default Re: Hollywood Wit : Classic Off-Screen Quips and Quotes
Why do Hollywood divorces cost so much? Because they're worth it.



-Johnny Carson
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Old 02-12-2011, 05:57 AM   #48
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Default Re: Hollywood Wit : Classic Off-Screen Quips and Quotes
Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett broke up this week. Roberts says that for her, the marriage was over when she realized, "I'm Julia Roberts, and he's Lyle Lovett."



-Norm McDonald
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Old 02-12-2011, 06:04 AM   #49
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Default Re: Hollywood Wit : Classic Off-Screen Quips and Quotes
The only friends I have in this goddamned town are Haig & Haig.



-John Barrymore
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Old 02-12-2011, 06:12 AM   #50
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Default Re: Hollywood Wit : Classic Off-Screen Quips and Quotes
Ben Affleck is my best friend. He's the first guy I'd call if I woke up in a hotel room with a dead hooker.



-Matt Damon
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