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Old 08-10-2013, 10:47 PM   #7791
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

एक अनपढ़ आदमी अपनी पढ़ी- लिखी पत्नी को दिल्ली घुमाने ले गया!


जब वो कुतुबमीनार देखने जाते हैं तो...



पति : देख ले गोर से फिर न कहना की लालकिला नहीं दिखाया!



पत्नी : अजी....ये तो कुतुबमीनार है! (कहकर मुस्करा उठती है और पति को गुस्सा आता है)


पति (थप्पड़ मारकर) : दिल्ली घुमाने मैं लाया हूं या तू लाई है?



गुस्से में दोनों वापिस अपने गांव आ जाते हैं, पति शाम को कहता है की पराठे बना लेना!



पत्नी पराठे की जगह बाजरे की रोटी बनती है! और पति को परोसते हुए कहती है...।



पत्नी : ले पराठे खा ले!



पति : ये पराठे हैं? ये तो बाजरे की रोटी है!



पत्नी (थप्पड़ मारकर) : पराठे तूने बनाये हैं या मैंने?
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Old 08-10-2013, 11:44 PM   #7792
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

वहां पहुँच कर उसने देखा कि उसे कंपनी ने रहने के लिए एक फ्लैट भी दे दिया है, यह देख उसने तुरंत अपने पत्नी को इसके बारे में सूचना देने के इरादे से अपने मोबाइल पे sms लिखा, परन्तु गलती से उसे गलत नंबर पर भेज दिया।


===============
त्रुटि सुधार
पत्नि की जगह पति होना चाहिए


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Old 09-10-2013, 09:18 PM   #7793
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

गाँव की दुकान पर ग्वाले की लड़की जा कर कहती है
लाला जी माँ ने एक किलो चीनी मंगाई है! ठीक है; लाला ने चीनी देते हुए पूछा;

"घी बनाया आज?"
"जी लाला जी"
"अच्छा एक किलो ले आना!"

लड़की घर जा कर कहती है "लाला जी ने घी मंगवाया है"
एक किलो घी तोल कर लाला की दुकान पर पहुंचा दिया गया !

ज़रा ही देर में लाला जी ग्वाले के घर आधमकते हैं,
गुस्से से लाल पीले, लड़की के सामने पड़ जाते है,
-बुला अपनी माँ को!
-क्या हुआ लाला, इतने नाराज क्यों हो रहे हो ?
-अरे मैं ही मिला बेवकूफ़ बनाने के लिए !
-लाला कुछ बताओगे भी ?
-एक किलो घी मंगवाया था, आठ सौ ग्राम निकला !

-बस लाला इत्ती सी बात ! वो तो एक किलो का बट्टा कहीं दब गया, मिल नहीं रहा था, अभी अभी लड़की एक किलो चीनी लेकर आई थी ना,
सो मैं ने तराजू पर रख कर घी तोल दिया !!!
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Old 09-10-2013, 09:20 PM   #7794
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

A person on his death bed (in Mumbai at Hospital) with Wife, Kids and Nurse beside him.

Man to Eldest son : You take the 15 Bungalows at Borivali.

To daughter : You take the 8 bungalows at Juhu.

To youngest son : You are my youngest and most dearest and I want your future to be bright, so you keep the 20 offices at Nariman Point.

To wife : Dear Kavita, you keep all 11 of our Lokhandwala building flats.

Nurse - quite impressed - Wow ...
To wife : You are lucky to have such a husband who is so rich and giving you all the properties etc.

Wife: What properties, what rich ... he's distributing out responsibilities of delivering Milk to his clients in the morning
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Old 09-10-2013, 09:23 PM   #7795
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

In Ladkiyon Ke Dar Bhi Ajeeb Hote Hai
Bheed Mein Ho To Logo Ka Dar,
Akele Mein Ho To Sunsaan Raaho Ka Dar,
Garmi Mein Ho To Pasine Se Bheegne Ka Dar,
Hawa Chale To Dupatte Ke Udane Ka Dar,
Koi Na Dekhe To Apne Chehre Se Dar,
Koi Dekhe To Dekhne Wale Ki Aankhon Se Dar,
Bachpan Ho To Maan-Baap Ka Dar,
Relationship Mein Ho To Bhaiyon Ka Dar,
Jawani Aaye To Duniya Waalo Ka Dar,
Raste Mein Khadi Dhoop Ho To, Chehre Ke Murjhane Ka Dar,
Baarish Aa Jaye To Usmein Bheeg Jaane Ka Dar,
Wo Darti Hai Aur Tab Tak Darti Hai Jab Tak Unhe Pyar Karne Wala Nahi Mil Jaata?
Wo Alag Baat Hai Wo Sabse Jayada Usi Ko Darati Hai.
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Old 09-10-2013, 09:23 PM   #7796
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

Education Related Song:
.
.
School:" Ye Duniya Ye Mehfil Mere Kaam Ki nahi..
..
Tution:" Idher Chala Main Udher Chala Janey Kahan Main Kidher Chala..
..
Maths:" Ajeeb Daastaan Hai Ye Kahan Shuru Kahan Khatam..
..
Science:" Aa Khushi Se Khud Khushi Karle..
..
Exam:" Choti Choti Raatein Lambi Ho Jaati Hain..
..
Result ( Naat ): jab dil hi tootgaya hum jeeke kya kare..
..
Pass:" Aaj Lagta Hai main Hawa Mein hoon Aaj Itni Khushi Mili hai..
..
Fail:" Chann se Jo Tootey Koi sapna jag soona soona laagay..
..
Agree Students ??
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Old 11-10-2013, 08:59 PM   #7797
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

__________________


*** Dr.Shri Vijay Ji ***

ऑनलाईन या ऑफलाइन हिंदी में लिखने के लिए क्लिक करे:

.........: सूत्र पर अपनी प्रतिक्रिया अवश्य दे :.........


Disclaimer:All these my post have been collected from the internet and none is my own property. By chance,any of this is copyright, please feel free to contact me for its removal from the thread.



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Old 11-10-2013, 09:00 PM   #7798
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

एक आदमी रात को शराब पीकर घर आया,
और सोते सोते भगवान को प्यारा हो गया.
ऊपर जाकर उसने भगवान से जीने का एक मौका और माँगा.
भगवान नेँ उसे मुर्गी बना कर वापस भेज दिया.मुर्गी बन कर उसने एक अण्डा दिया
जैसे ही उसने अण्डे को देखा तो उसके होश उड़ गये.अण्डा सोने का था...
खुशी मेँ उसने जोर लगाया और दूसरा अण्डा दिया.
और जैसे ही वो तीसरा अण्डा देने के लिए जोर लगाने लगा
तो उसके सर पे किसी नेँ जूता मारा...
और जब उसने आँखे खोली तो उसने देखा बीवी चिल्ला रही थी..???
उठ जा बेवड़े !!!!! बिस्तर पे पोटी किये जा रहा हैँ..!!!
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:01 PM   #7799
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

दो बच्चों की मां तीसरी बार शादी कर रही थी.

फेरों के वक्त छोटा बच्चा रोने लगा. बहुत कोशिश की पर उसका रोना बंद नहीं हुआ.
तंग आकर मां बोली:
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,,
चुप हो जा वरना अगली शादी में लेकर नहीं जाऊंगी.,,,
..............................बच्चा चुप !!
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:01 PM   #7800
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Default Re: गुदगुदाते, चुटीले और मजेदार चुटकुले (Jokes)

पहलवान का विवाह...

एक पहलवान का होने वाला था विवाह ,
उसके दोस्तों ने दी उसे सलाह ...

लड़की से ज़रा कोमल बात करना ,
लड़की से ज़रा कोमल बात करना ,
भाभुकता भरे शब्दों की बरसात करना ..

प्रथम रात्री को पहलवान ने मुगदर घुमाया,
पलंग का बेसवा चक्कर लगाया,
और बहुत सोच समझ कर बोला,

पंजा लड़ाएगी ....!! :-))
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