The Wit Of Tenali Raman

[maria]

Jokes are universal with local variations. Most of us have heard of the wit of birbal as Akbar and Birbal jokes. We have the Mulla Naziruddin jokes. And we have the Jokes of Tenali Raman. Tenali is a small town in Andhra Pradesh. Raman was originally a simple Brahmin boy from this town. With his wit and intelligence, he went on to become the Court Jester of Krishna Deva Raya of Vijaynagar (Hampi) Empire. Krishna Deva Raya was one of the most famous and successful ruler of Vijaynagar and he ruled between 1509 and 1529, much before even Babar established the Mughal Dynasty.

Raman of Tenali was well aware that if he had to progress in life, he had to move out of Tenali and move to the commercial capital of that time Vijaynagar. Once the Rajguru of Vijaynagar visited the temple of Kali at Tenali and Raman was told to come to Vijaynagar where the Rajguru would introduce him to the Emperor.

Now legend has it that in a dream he was told by Godess Kali to worship her at the temple on a particular new moon night. On that night Raman was in the Temple and the Godess appeared before him with her 108 heads and 8 arms. Seeing Her, Raman burst out laughing. The angry Godess demanded why he was laughing at her. Raman replied, "I was thinking, when we get a cold and our nose runs, we find it difficult to manage one nose with two hands: and when I thought of how you could manage 108 noses with eight hands I found it very funny. Happy at his witty answer, the Godess showed two bowls and said, "In the golden bowl is sweet milk of wealth and in the silver bowl the sour curds of knowledge and learning. You can have any one of them." Prentending to smell both, Raman took the two bowls simultaneously and swallowed the contents of both, and hence he was blessed with the wisdom of knowledge tempered with humourous wit and also plenty of wealth which he acquired in due course.

Raman left Tenali and came to Vijaynagar. The Rajguru obviously did not recognise him. Raman reminded him of his promise and was given a royal brush-off. Not to be deprived of his chance of meeting the Emperor Krishna Deva Raya, one morning he waited near the river Tungabadhra. The Rajguru came for his morning bath to the river. Once the Rajguru finished his bath, Raman jumped on his back and told him to carry him. The Rajguru had no option as he didn't want to create a scene. Some people who espied this, went and reported to the Emperor. the emperor flew into a royal rage and climed into his chariot and came to see and punish the culprit. However, Raman espied the royal entourage from afar, and he nimbly jumped down from the Rajguru's shoulder and hoisted the Royal Priest on his shoulders. When the Emperor saw this, he was impressed. He patted Raman and asked him to meet him in the palace for receiving the Emperor's appreciation and a gift. And from here starts the tale of Raman's Wit and the saga of Tenali Raman.

[maria]

Andare used to tease the village girls. One day the girls got together and decided to challenge him. Each girl hid an egg in her clothes and went to the village pond to take a bath. The girls got into the pond with the hidden eggs and called out to Andare:

"Andare! Andare! Come to the pond! Can you produce an egg? We can!"

An Answer

Andare wondered what to do. He stood on the bank and watched the girls splash about.

"Are you afraid! Jump in! Produce an egg!" challenged one of the girls, as she dived in and came out with an egg, "Like this!"

Another girl did the same. And another. And another.....

Andare could no longer stand on the bank and watch. They were all teasing him, laughing and egging him on. He jumped in. the girls watched.

After a few seconds underwater he came out flapping his elbows, making a noise with his palms tucked in his arm-pits, "pak-pak-pak-pak...."

"I am a cock! Naturally I don't lay eggs like all you hens!" he declared, pretending to look indignant.

The girls gave up and enjoyed his witty answer.

[maria]

Now I will tell you how Tenali Raman met Emperor Krishna Deva Raya and was rewarded with the post of the Court Jester.

As desired by the Emperor, Raman went to the Palace. At the gates the guard stopped him and said that to-day was not the day for commoners and he could not go in. Raman told the guard that the Emperor had summoned him to the Palace and if he came to know that the guard had stopped him, then the guard would be severly punished.

The guard said, "If the Emperor has summoned you today, he is going to give you some reward. If you agree to give half of the reward, I will let ou go in. Raman agreed to teh deal.

Just outside the Hall where the Emperor held his court, another guard stopped him. On being told of his summons, this guard also demanded half the reward. Raman explained that already he had give half to some one. The guard agreed to accept half of what was left and Raman was ushered into the Emperor's presence.

The Emperor praised Raman for his manners and said, "The respect you gave the Raj Guru is of the highest order. Ask for any reward and you shall have it."

Raman said, "Your Majesty give me one hundred whip lashes."

The courtiers felt Raman was mad and the Emperor too was slightly annoyed. He tried to amke Raman change his mind and when he failed, he ordered the one hundred lashes to be given.

When he had received twenty five lashes, Raman asked that the whipping be stopped. The Emperor was annoyed and asked, "What the problem was?"

Raman replied, "Your Majesty I have promised the remaining reward to two others in your employ!'

The Emperor was amzed and asked him to explain. Raman said, "When I came to the palace, teh guard stopped me and allowed me inside only if I would part with half of the reward I got. So he should get fifty lashes. Just outside your chamber, Your Majesty, the guard there wanted half of teh remaining reward. Hence he should get twenty five lashes."

Emperor Krishna Deva Raya was astounded at the remarkable wit of this villager from Tenali. He immediately had the two guards brought before him, ordered one lashes to each and imprison them for life.

He rewarded Raman with one hundred gold coins, which Raman was not willing to accept. On being pressed, Raman told the emperor he would rather be employed by such a glorious ruler, than receive a one time reward.

Krishna Deva Raya immediately announced that henceforth Raman would be the Court Jester and gave him a paltial house near the palace with large tracts of land and asked him to come the next day clad as a courtier.

[abhishek]

Nice story Maria, thanks for sharing.. Would expect more from your in future..

[raju]

Once a debate was going on in the court of Maharaja Krishna Deva Raya. The subject of the debate was "Who is the most important person, responsible for the prosperity of the State?"

One courtier said, "The prosperity depends on the King of that State. The king brings affluence in his State by upholding the rights of all, safeguarding the freedom of the State from internal unrests and external attacks. He also maintains law and order ny punishing the guilty."

"In myopinion the king of course is important for the prosperity of the State, but not alone. What is the assurance that the king will not be wicked and opressive," said the Maharaja.

Princess Mohanangi (the Queen) said, "The common citizens like farmers, blacksmiths, carpenters, goldsmiths, potters, barbers, weavers. painters, artisans, labourers,etc. are the backbone of the State. Only these people with their dedication and efforts add multifold richness to themselves and the State."

The Maharaja disagreed, "How can it be possible that they bring prosperity to the State. They being illiterate have to depend on the King, the Ministers and the Brahmins."

The Chief Minister said, "The Minister is the most important person for the flourishing of a State."

The Maharaja replied, "How can it be? Ministers also have to depend on the King, nevertheless an able Minister might also take steps which might result in damage to the State."

"I think the military Commander is the most important person for the prosperity of the State," said the Commander-in-Chief.

"Then there will always be war, with no peace in the State, in the absence of the King's control over them," interjected the Maharaja.

Another courtier suggested, "The most vital item is the state of the Forts in the State."

The Maharaja immediately disagreed, "No...No... The bold public is much more important than all the Forts."

"The Brahmin is the most significant body," said the Raja Guru.

"What is your opinion about it, Raman?", the Maharaja asked Tenali Raman.

"Sire, whether a person is good or bad has no relation to being a Brahmin. A good person, irrespective of being a Brahmin or not, would always be beneficial to the State, whereas even a Brahmin can cause enormous loss to the State," said Tenali Raman.

The Raja Guru reacted to this, "You are blaming the Brahmins. I am sure no Brahmin can ever cause harm to his King or the State."

"Raj Guru sir, I shall prove your claim wrong. A wicked person who may even be a Brahmin, can stoop low to any extent for the sake of money," Tenali Raman retorted.

Seeing that the arguements were becoming heated, the Maharaja adjourned the meeting.

A month passed by and everyone forgot the whole discussion. Tenali Raman appraised the Maharaja of his scheme and went to eight main Brahmins of the town.. He told them that Emperor Krishna Deva Raya desires to distribute gold sovereigns in silver plates to eight chosen Brahmins.

The Brahmins were overjoyed and expressed gratefulness to Tenali Raman for such distinction. They said, "We will just come after taking our bath."

"There is no time left for bathing. The Maharaja is waiting lest the auspicious time for donation may lapse, forget your bathing," stressed Raman, "In that case I shall call other Brahmins."

"Wait please, Tenali Raman, allow us to sprinkle some water onour hair. This will be treated as equivalent to a bath as per religious doctorines," said one of those Brahmins.

Tenali Raman did not reply and kept waitng quitely. The Brahmins sprinkled water on their individula heads, applied the religious mark on their foreheads, and reached the Court behind Tenali Raman. On seeing the gold sovereigns in big silver plates kept in Court by the Maharaja, they got puffed up with joy.

When the Maharaja was about to donate, Tenali Raman interupted, "My Lord, I think you don't mind if these Brahmins had no bath. These poor fellows were in a great hurry to reach and receive donations here, and hence sprinkled water on their head."

The Maharaja got furious and asked, "Is it true?"

The Brahmins were stupefied. They accepted slowly that they had not had a bath and slipped off quitely.

Tenali Raman impressed upon the Raja Guru, "Yes Raja Guruji, what do you have to say now on that debate held earlier. Tempted by the money they forgot all those religious rites. One does not get a higher pedestal just by being a Brahmin. This proves the Queen's arguement that common hardworking public, is more important than brahmins, who under the guidance of an able king and his wise Ministers can bring prosperity to the State in no time."

[raju]

Once there was a discussion between Maharaja Krishna Deva Raya and Tenali Raman to ascertain whether people usually accept any matter easily or not.

The Maharaja stressed that people cannot be fooled easily.

Tenali Raman was of the opinion that people believed anything easily.

The Maharaja said, "You can't make anybody to do whatever you wish."

Tenali Raman said, "Excuse me your Majesty! I can get the most impracticable job done. To prove this I can even make a person strike you with a shoe."

"What?" said the Maharaja, "I challenge you to demonstrate so."

"I accept your challenge Sire! But you have to give me some time for it," replied Tenali Raman.

"You cantake your own time," offered the Mahjaraja.

The challenge got lost in time. The Maharaja also forgot this incident.

After about a month Maharaja Krishna Deva Raya decided to marry the very beautiful daughter of a Tribal Chief from Coorg (Kodagu) province. The Chief was ignorant about the Royal Customs of Vijayanagar.

The Maharaja said, " I only need your daughter in the marriage. The rituals vary in each state and you don't have to worry about them.

Still the Chief wanted to observe all the customs of a Royal Marriage.

One day Tenali Raman secretly went to the Chief to explain the marriage rituals. The Chief was delighted and promised to keep secret the source of his information.

Tenali Raman then suggested, "There is an old custom in the family of Maharaja Krishna Deva Raya that on completion of all rituals of a marriage, the bride throws removes her own footwear and throws it on the bridegroom. after that the bridegroom takes the bride to his house. I was wanting that this ritual must also be performed. Therefor I have brought a pair of velvet ladies' shoes from Portugese Goa. The Portugese further apprised me about this custom of shoe throwing in Europe as well, though they throw leather footwear. But the question of leather footwear cannot be imagined amongst us, whereas the velvet shoes are altogether different."

The Chief replied, "Whatsoever Sri Raman, though made of velvet, a shoe is after all a shoe. Will it be proper for a wife to throw a shoe on her husband?"

Tenali Raman replied, "Though this ritual is followed in marriages of Vijayanagar you can drop it if you have any hesitation.

The Chief reacted, " No... No... Please give it to me. I do not wish to leave any stone unturned in my daughter's marriage."

The marriage took place and all the rituals were over. The Maharaja was very happy and busy making arrangements to take the bride home. All of sudden the bride removed her velvet shoe and threw it at the Maharaja smilingly. Tenali Raman standing near the Maharaja whishpered in his ear, "My Lord! Kindly forgive her, this is all my doing."

The Maharaja laughed, lifted the shoe and returned it to the bride. The helpless bride clarified apologizing, "I had to do this to complete the rituals."

Maharaja Krishna Deva Raya learnt the mystery behind this episode from Tenali Raman on reaching his palace. The king was highly amused and laughed uproariously. He said, "You were right, Raman, people would easily believe any utterance," and he rewarded Tenali Raman well.

[raju]

Continuing with the story of Tenali Raman, here is yet another instance of his intelligence and acumen.

THE SUSPICION OF TENALI RAMAN

Having defeated the King of Orissa, Maharaja Krishna Deva Raya was preparing to attack the Muslim States to the North of his empire Raichur, Bijapur and Gulbarga. He instructed the Governor to collect money and recruits for the Army so that the enemy can be completely crushed.

The sultan of Bijapur was a worried man. With the powerful army, resources and other preparations, it would impossible to save the empire from Krishna Deva Raya's attack. He sent a Muslim spy disguised as a Brahmin by the name of Raja Iyer to the Court of Vijayanagaram to win the Maharaja's heart and kill him on getting an appropriate opportunity. the sultan conceived that with the Maharaja killed, there would be internal disturbances and an attack on Vijayanagaram could be made.

Raja Iyer was from the Sultan's dynasty and hailed originally from Mathura. His ancestors were defeated by the kings of Vijayanagaram and they were chased out of Mathura. This was a good opportunity for Raja Iyer to avenge the defeat of his ancestors. He was an orthodox Muslim, very dark in complexion and highly educated. He was well versed with the customs of Tamil Brahmins and thus he reached the court of Vjayanagaram. He used to speak pure Sanskrit, recite Vedasas well as portions of Hindu scriptures and mythological episodes.

Maharaja Krishna Deva Raya had high regards for learned persons and so the dummy Raja Iyer made a special niche for himself in the court. He was granted permission to visit the Royal Palace at any timeduring the day or night.

He was cautious in the beginning but gradually started visiting the inner rooms of the palace. He was looking for a place where he attack and kill the Maharaja. There was another problem, wherever theMaharaja went he was always accompanied by a few people, and there was a chance of Raja Iyer being caught. Raja Iyer was averse to Tenali Raman as he always accompanied the Maharaja. Tenali Raman also disliked Raja Iyer. He had definite apprehensions about the latter being a Muslim spy. Tenali Raman was plotting to entrap Raja Iyer.

Once Tenali Raman in the presence of the Maharaja spontaneously asked Raja Iyer, "What is your Veda and lineage?"

Raja Iyer instantly replied, "Krishna Yajur Veda and Sanskriti lineage."

After teh departure of Raja Iyer, the Maharaja asked Tenali Raman, "Why did you raise this question to him?"

Tenali Raman: "My Lord, I have a doubt that this person is a Muslim spy. He needs to be checked before relying on him. The trust reposed on an improper person could be disastorous."

Maharaja: "What do you say/ You still have suspicions, when he speaks pure sanskrit and is more regular in offering prayers than you."

Tenali Raman: "How does it matter? A foreigner will always try to speak our language more refined. He only needs to show off in more prayers."

Maharaja: "You have apoint in what you say, but it is difficult for me to digest. What would the Sultan get by killing me alone? My lakhs of soldiers would be there even after me."

Tenali Raman: "One lion is more powerful than lakhs of sheep. and in your absence the army will split, providing chance to the enemy to trample us. My Lord, if you permit I canprove that this man is a spy of the enemy."

"How come?" enquired the Maharaja.

"There is a very simple method which will expose him," confirmed Tenali raman.

"You have my permission, but whatever you wish to do has to be done in my presence. Till his guilt is proved, he should not come to any harm," instructed the Maharaja.

The same night when Raja Iyer was fast asleep in hisroom, Tenali Raman along with Maharaja Krishna Deva Raya reached there and poure over him a bucket full of cold water with leeches. Raja Iyer woke up at once crying, "Hai Allah! Yah Allah!"

In a fit of anger he pulled out his sword and was about to attack Tenali Raman, when Maharaja Krishna Deva Raya beheaded him with his sword.

Thus The wisdom of Tenali Raman saved Maharaja Krishna Deva Raya's precious life.

[raju]

THE GREAT DEBATE or
TILAKASTHA MAHISHA BANDHANA

To the Court of Maharaja Krishna Deva Raya came a very learned scholar. Maharaja Krishna Deva Raya was a patron of learned men, literature and art, welcomed and honoured the scholar. The scholar was very well learned in Sanskrit and a great debater who had not been beaten by scholars in any kindom in Hindusthan including the Mughal Empire. Unfortunately this had made him very conceited.

The scholar paid his respects to the Maharaja, thanked him for his courtsey and gifts and issued a challenge to scholars in the Kingdom of Vijayanagaram to debate with him at any time they desired. He then retired to his quarters. Mahjaraja Krishna Deva Raya asked the advice of Raja Guru, who opined that it would be foolhardy to debate with such a scholar as any person in the empire was not as learned in Sanskrit or as skilled in the art of debating.

Seeing the Maharaja crestfallen Tenali Raman stepped forward and said' "My Lord, I am willing to debate with that scholar."

In spite of the gravity of the situation, the Maharaja smiled and said, "Raman, this is not one of your practical problems or jokes which you perform. It is a question of Vijayanagaram's prestige and is best left to the specialists, i.e. the scholars."

But Tenali Raman was adamant. He said, "My Lord, I know that. Have I ever played with the prestige and good name of Vijayanagaram. Please let the debate be held after two days."

After some consideration, the Maharaja agreed. The Raja Guru could hardly hide his glee as also some of the courtiers. This would show their Maharaja that he was dependent on a semi literate village bumpkin, and once Tenali Raman fell out of grace, they could once again start showing of their wit and learning.

On the day of the Great Debate, the Courtroom was fully packed. News had spread and even common people had come to hear the debate between the famed scholar and the equally famous Tenali Raman. The scholar supremely confident of himself said, "Your Majesty, with your permission, Shri Ramakrishnayya of Tenali, please select the first work of the debate."

On Tenali Raman's indication one of his disciples (only for that day) brought forward a big bundle of manuscripts fully covered ad tied in a white cloth. Tenali Raman said, "Greeting My Lord, thank you. I think we shall commence the debate with an easy work, "Tilakastha Mahisha Bandhana of ......."

The scholar interrupted, "Please repeat the name again, did you say, 'Tilakastha Mahisha Bandhana'?"

Tenali Raman replied, "Yes. As I was saying 'Tilakastha Mahisha Bandhana' of...."

The scholar said, "I'm sorry I have not come across that work. Can we start debating on some other work?"

Tenali Raman said, in surprise, "What you have not come across 'Tilakastha Mahisha Bandhana'? Why even the cowherds of Vijayanagaram Empire know about it."

The scholar humbly rose from his seat, bowed to Tenali Raman and bowing to the Maharaja said, "Your Majesty, there is still much more I have to study. Please pardon my arrogance", so saying he left the Palace and in due course the city.

After the scholar had gone, the Raja Guru asked, "What is this work you are talking about. I have also not heard of any 'Tilakastha Mahisha Bandhana'."

The Maharaja was intrigued and he asked Tenali Raman to explain

Tenali Raman opened the bundles of manuscripts. In all the bundles, there were heaps of seasme stalks tied with a rope. Tenali Raman explained, "As you know the seasme stalks are Tilka and they are tied up with the rope cowherds use to tie(bandhana) their buffaloes (mahisha) and cows. Hence, Tilakastha Mahisha Bandhana. That is why I said even the cowherds of Vijayanagaram Empire know of it. They do the same every season when the seasme crop is ready."

Maharaja Krishna Deva Raya, enjoyed the joke and laughed heartily. He also rewarded Tenali Raman well for saving the respect and prestige of Vijayanagaram.

and the poor Raja Guru was heard mutering, "Tilakstha Mahisha Bandhana indeed. Well wait and see."

[raju]

THE CAT THAT REFUSED MILK

Maharaja Krishna Deva Raya was fond of animals and he supported the maintenance and upkeep of animals. {Such rulers, if they are there today, would be PETA's heartthrobs and idols.}

One day ther was a debate in the Court, wherein everyone held that animals follow the rules of nature and no animal would go against its nature. Only Tenali Raman differed.

The menace of rats was increasing in the Kingdom and the Maharaja imported dozens of Persian Cats purchased and gave all his courtiers one cat. Each recipient was also given a cow to feed the cat on the cow's milk. He instructed them to maintain the cat and the cow well and announced that at the end of the year, the owner of the best maintained cat would be suitably rewarded in the open Court.

To ensure that no courtier could complain that the expenses of maintaining the cat and cow was upsetting their family budget, he also annouced that each of the owners' of the animals would get ten gold coins from the treasury every month for the upkeep of the animals.

A year later all the owners came with their cats sleek, well maintained and all of them fat cats. Did I say all? No, there was one that was looking lean and ill fed. Its fur had fallen off at places and it was indeed a piteous sight. And the cat belonged to Tenali Raman.

The Raja Guru thought that this was the chance to get even with Tenali Raman. When the Court assembled, he addressed the Maharaja, "My Lord, all of us have obeyed your orders and maintained our cats well. I have to complain that Tenali Raman has not only taken the money from the Royal treasury but has also misused it. His is the only cat that is lean ill-fed and a piteous animal."

The Maharaja, looked at Tenali Raman and his cat, and asked, "What do you have to say Raman? This time I think the Raja Guru is right!"

Tenali Raman replied, "My Lord, what could I do. The cat just refuses to drink milk. What else could I have fed it on?"

The Raja Guru replied, "My Lord, he is lying. No animal will go against it's nature and all of us know that cat's love milk."

But Tenali Raman insisted that his cat just abhorred milk.

The Maharaja ordered an attendant to bring the cat some milk. As soon as the bowl of milk was brought near it, teh cat mewed pietouely and started backing away. Everyone was surprised and the Raja Guru's face was a sight to look at.

The Maharaja then judged the other cats and rewarded the winner.

He then asked Tenali Raman, "Okay Raman. What mischief have you played this time that your cat is positively afraid of milk."

Tenali Raman said, "My Lord, I am sorry to have mistreated the cat, but all I did was when I took it home, I offered it boiling milk. when it came to drink the milk, its tongue was scalded. After that, even if I offered it cold milk, it was afraid and would back away from milk. This shows that animal's can also be made to go and act against their nature."

Later, the Maharaja said: "I know Raman that it is dificult to win over you in arguements. But you must tell me truly as to why did you do so?"

Smiling Tenali Raman replied, "Your Majesty, the cats can also fill their bellies by eating rats which is the purpose here among other things. I think cow's milk should not be wasted on cats but given to growing children of our kingdom."

The Maharaja also saw great sense in what Tenali Raman said and stopped the feeding of the catrs on cow's milk.

[raju]

THE KING'S FACE

Once Maharaja Krishna Deva Raya decided to test his courtiers. Accordingly all the courtiers were given a velvet bag full of gold coins. While handing over the bag to each person the king cautioned, "This is agift from me with a rider that you need to look at my ace while spending these coins. Report to me after a week about the purchases made from these coins."

Each courtier accepted the bag gladly. When theywent to the market for purchasing they became nervous. The mere thought of the Maharaja's condition stunned them. How could they spend the coins while seeing the Maharaja's face.

A week was over in this worry alone. On the appointed day when the Court was full, the Maharaja asked his courtiers, "Would you tell me as to what all did you purchase with those gold coins?"

All the courtiers were speechless. The Raja Guru said, "My Lord, how could we fulfill your condition? How and where could we have your view in the market, as after which the coins were to be spent?"

All the courtiers supported the statement of the Raja Guru.

The Maharaja then asked Tenali Raman, "You tell me Raman, what did you purchase with teh gold coins?"

Tenali Raman replied, "My Lord, I puurchased my necessities with the gold coins on the next day itself. This new dhoti, silken scarf and new spectacles which I am wearing are purchased from those gold coins only."

"This indicates that you have not obsereved my condition," said the Maharaja.

"How can it be possible My Lord?" replied Tenali Raman. "I have not ommitted your condition. Your figure is engraved on the coin, therefore before spending them I repeatedly looked at your image, greeted and then made the purchase."

On hearing this all the courtiers felt ashamed.

The Maharaja rewarded Tenali Raman for his wisdom.