22-10-2013, 08:56 AM | #51 |
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Re: Punography
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23-10-2013, 07:29 AM | #52 |
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Re: Punography
What have a frog and a spaceship got in common?
Answer:- One uses flies for fuel and the other uses fuel when it flies Why are government inquiries like shots out of a cannon? Answer:- Because they both make big reports. Why is an orange like a church bell? Answer:- They both have a peel (peal What would happen if a man choked to death on a teaspoon? Answer:- . He wouldn't be able to stir. Why is a dog catching his tail like a financial manager? Answer:- Because the dog also tries to make ends meet Why is the letter "w" like a political scandal? Answer:- It makes ill-will. |
23-10-2013, 07:44 PM | #53 |
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What do you have to keep in order to part with it?
Answer:- A comb (for your hair). ============ Why is the letter "g" like 12 a.m.? Answer:- It is in the middle of the night ========================== Why didn't Noah do any fishing off of the Ark? Answer:- He only had two worms ========================= If it loses an eye, only a nose is left. What is it? Answer:- Noise ======================= What is the best way to do bookkeeping? Answer:- Don't lend any (books) =============================== What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? Answer:- A jeweller sells watches; a jailer watches cells ================= Why is a weary traveler like a bicycle? Answer:- Because they*re both too (two) tired ============== |
24-10-2013, 11:57 PM | #54 |
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Why was King Darius worried when Daniel was in the lions den?
Answer:- He didn*t want the lions eating up all the prophets (profits) ================= When the Egyptians chased Moses and the Hebrew people they encountered a cloud of darkness. What did they do? Answer:- They turned on the Israelites. ================== What was Joan of Arc made of? Answer:- Joan of Arc, maid of Orleans ====================== What is the difference between a man who has no money and a feather pillow? Answer:- The first is hard up and the second is soft down ====================== When is coffee like the soil? Answer:- When it is ground ================= Why is thought like the sea? Answer:- Because it is an ocean (a notion) =============== |
25-10-2013, 10:23 AM | #55 |
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25-10-2013, 10:54 PM | #56 |
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Re: Punography
What is black and white and red all over?
Answer:- A newspaper ================== When does a sculptor explode in strong convulsions? Answer:- When he makes faces and busts ========================= If you stumble over your new mat in the passage, what science are you shown to have neglected? Answer:- P-neu-matics ============================ When is a door not a door? Answer:- When it*s ajar. ====================== What is the difference between a hard-to-please literature critic and a fisherman? Answer: a. The critic hates the books and the fisherman baits the hooks. b. The critic is a carper who tries to catch humans and a fisherman is a human who likes to catch carpers. =================== Why is a beehive like a spectator? Answer:- They are both be(e )holders =================== What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Answer:- Hailing taxis. ======================== |
27-10-2013, 10:38 PM | #57 |
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Why is the Panama Canal like the first "u" in cucumber?
Answer:- Because it is also between two Seas/Cs* ===================== What wears shoes, but has no feet? Answer:- The lining of brakes ========================== When is a boat like a heap of snow? Answer:- When it is adrift. =============================== How do you communicate with a fish? Answer:- Just drop them a line =========================== Why does a puss purr? Answer:- For an obvious purr-puss ======================= Why is the Desert of Arabia the best place for a picnic? Answer:- Because of the sand which is there ====================== Why do ducks put their heads in the water? Answer:- For divers reasons ===================== What is the difference between an engine-driver and a schoolmaster? Answer:- One minds the train, the other trains the mind ===================== |
29-10-2013, 03:18 AM | #58 |
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What is the difference between an accepted and a rejected lover?
Answer:- One kisses his missus, the other misses his kisses ================ Why did Friday not need a cockerel to wake him up? Answer:- Because Robinson crew so. =================== What is the difference between a New England fisher and a Mafia network? Answer:- One is a lobster man, the other a mobster LAN ===================== What's the difference between a scheme to take over the world and a group of people who love this type of puzzle? Answer:- One is a cunning plan, the other is a punning clan ================= Why is six afraid of seven? Answer:- Because seven eight nine! =================== What is the difference between a skit about the wages of sin and a scam in which diluted solutions are sold as full-strength? Answer:- One is a morality play, the other a molarity ploy. ================ |
29-10-2013, 06:32 AM | #59 |
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What's the difference between a big embrace and a louse?
Answer:- One is a bear hug and the other a hair bug. ================ What's the difference between unlawful and illegal? Answer:- Unlawful is against the law; illegal is a sick bird. ================= What's the difference between a rabbit and a lumberjack? Answer:- One chews and hops, the other hews and chops ========================= What is the difference between a cloud and a child receiving a spanking? Answer:- One pours with rain and the other roars with pain. ====================== Why is a naughty boy like a postage stamp? Answer:- Because you lick him and stick him in a corner =================== Who gains most at a coronation, the king or his people? Aswer:- The king gains a crown, the people a sovereign. ===================== |
30-10-2013, 03:39 AM | #60 |
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What is the difference between a lady and her mirror?
Answer:- One speaks without reflecting, the other reflects without speaking ================= Why is the figure nine like a peacock ? Answer:- Because it is nothing without its tail ============================== What is the difference between a naughty boy and a postage stamp? Answer:- The one you lick with a stick and the other you stick with a lick ============================== What is the difference between a democracy and feudalism? Answer:- In a democracy it's your vote that counts and in feudalism, it's your Count that votes. ============================ |
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