Funny Jokes....

[raju]

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

[raju]

Java Interview attended by our Banta Singh

Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different ... nothing more

Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee

Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.

Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.

Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can't communicate.

Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.

Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.

Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.

Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.

Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?

Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.

Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.

Q. How will you call an Applet from a Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.

Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus dep ot.

Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.

Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.

Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.

Q. What is the exact diffe rence between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast

[raju]

There was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters.
They were planning for a free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point,
"Oh...we'll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a tough one indeed. Banta Singh had a brainwave...
"No problem! We'll attack Amrika, it would take over us and then
we would become a State of USA and develop automatically."
All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surd
was not. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL VERY WELL...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE
WE TOOK OVER AMRIKA???"

[raju]

Wife to BANTA, "how much do you love me?"
BANTA, “like how Shahjahan loved Mumtaz ....!"
Wife, "then will you make Taj Mahal for me once I am dead?"
BANTA, "I have already bought the plot, but you are the one who is delaying the project."

[raju]

The doctor told Sarddarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days,he would loose 34kilos.
At the end of 300 days,Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?"asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home",replied sardarji.

[raju]

Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall
building in Bombay. One is a Mallu, the second is a Bengali and the
third is a Sardarji.


Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch
together One fine day -- the Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis
in the box.
He says " I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in
the box tommorow, i will jump from the 20th floor and die".

Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says If I
find fish in my lunch box tommorow, I am going to jump from the 20th
floor of this building and die"

Next the Sardarji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says
"Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box tommorow I am also going
to jump from the 20th floor"

Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch. Mallu opens
his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and
dies.

The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the
20th floor and dies.

Sardarji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the
20th floor and dies.

In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their
colleagues, the Mallu's widow says "I did not know he hated idlis so
much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch"

The Bengali's widow says "I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I
would have packed something else for his lunch"

The sardarji's widow says "I do not understand what went wrong. My
husband always prepared his own lunch....!!!

[raju]

This happened about a month or two ago near Lonavala and even though it sounds like something from an Alfred Hitchcock movie.

This guy drives from Mumbai to Pune and decides not to take the new expressway as he wants to see the scenery. The inevitable happens and when he reaches the ghats his car breaks down - he's stranded miles from nowhere.

Having no choice he starts walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest human habitation. It's dark and raining and pretty soon he's wet and shivering. The night rolls on and no car goes by, the monsoon rains are so strong he can hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he sees a car coming towards
him.

It slows and then stops next to him - without thinking the guy opens the car's door and jumps in. Seated in the back, he leans forward to thank the person who had saved him when he realizes there is nobody behind the steering!!!
Even though there's no one in the front seat and no sound of any engine, the car starts moving slowly.

The guy looks at the road ahead and sees a curve coming (remember, this is in the hills and there is a steep,steep drop beyond the curve).

Scared almost to death he starts to pray, begging the Lord for his life. He hasn't come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and moves the steering! The car makes the curve safely and continues on the road to the next bend. The guy, now paralyzed in terror, watches how the hand appears every time they are before acurve and moves the steering wheel just enough to get the car around each bend.

Finally, the guy sees lights ahead. Gathering his courage he wrenches open the door of the silent, slowly moving car, scrambles out and runs as hard as he can towards the lights.It's a small town.

Wet and in shock goes to a roadside dhaba, which is open, and asks for a drink.They find some hooch and give him a shot. And he starts telling whoever is in
the dhabba about the horrible experience he's just been through. A silence envelops everybody when they realize the guy isn't drunk, and is really frightened - he's crying and shaking. So they give him more hooch and talk about what they should do, whether to call the police or find a priest, or what.

But just then santa and banta walk into the dhaba. santa says oye banta
"Look, - that's the guy who got in our car when we were pushing it !!!!!!! "

[raju]

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Sardars had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Sardar community.

So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Sardar community. If the Sardar won, the Sardars could stay. If the Pope won, the Sardars would leave.

The Sardars realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle aged man named Santa Singh to represent them. Santa Singh asked for one condition to be added to the debate. To make it more interesting, the debate was to be conducted using sign language and neither side would be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came. Santa Singh and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Santa Singh looked back at him and raised one finger.

The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Santa Singh pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Santa Singh pulled out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Sardars can stay. " An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what had happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Sardar community had crowded around Santa Singh. "What happened ?" they asked. "Well", said Santa Singh, "First he said to me that the Sardars had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Sardars. I let him know that we were staying right here." "And then?", asked the crowd. "I don't know," said Santa Singh, "He took out his lunch and I took out mine".

[raju]

One Sardar fed up with all Sardar scenarios and went to doctor. He asked
doctor to put 1 Kg of brain in his head.
He asked about the cost. Doctor asked him whose brain it shoud be? It
depends on that.

Doctor explaining about brain cost
"If Engineers Brain - Rs. 1000 per gram"
"If Doctors Brain - Rs. 1200 per gram"
"If Lawyers Brain - Rs. 2000 per gram"

Sardar questioned "What about a Sardar's ?"
Doctor answered "Its too costly, Rs. 100000 per Gram"

Sardar is happy about the cost of Sardar's brain and he think its precious,
but asked doctor with anxiety
"Why? Doctor, Its so costly".
Doctor explained "Because to collect 1 gram brain, do you know how many
Sardars are needed?"

[raju]

Day a monkey kicked a sarder on his back and run away.
Sarder run to catch him and find a zebra in the field.
Sarder kicked the zebra on his back and said " Salla Trackshut pahenke dhoka de raha tha..."

A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken,
Waiter comes with the order
Sardar:Murgi di taang kithe hai?
Waiter:Woh langda tha.
Sardar: Dil?
Waiteril murgi le gayee.
Sardar: Dimaag?
Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha

SARDAR:: Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho ek bhi nahi jal rahi
SON :: kya baat kartay ho pappa sub check kar kay laya hoooon

This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start
approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him ;
kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.;
Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to
janwar hai, usko kya pata