Humour Unlimited

[raju]

Love Letter Of A Computer Engineer


Sweet heart,


I’ve seen you yesterday while surfing on the local train platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For a long time I’ve been lonely; this has been the bug in my life and you can be a real debugger for me now.

My life is an uncompiled program without you, which never produces an executable code and hence is useless. You are not only beautiful by face but all your ActiveX controls are attractive as well.

Your smile is so delightful; it encourages me and gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes processing power.

When you looked at me last evening, I felt like all my program modules are running smoothly and giving expected results. which I never experienced before.

With this letter, I just want to convey to you that if we are linked together, I’ll provide you all objects & libraries necessary for a human being to live an error free life.

I anticipate that nobody has already logged in to your database so that my connect script will fail.

And its all but certain that if this happened to me, my system will crash beyond recovery. Kindly interpret this letter properly and grant me all privileges of your inbox. Error free…


Regards,



Software Programmer


Today This company
Tomorrow That Company
But always want Ur Company!

[raju]

Once a smart Sales Executive and his Manager were traveling towards Ooty in a train.

Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma.

After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.

Suddenly, every body heard a kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.

Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.


Grand ma thought that," The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is?

He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine;

she immediately slapped that guy."


Manager thought that,

"I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl!

But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"


That girl thought,"I feel happy, when that guy kissed me,

but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".


Finally, do u know what our clever Sales Executive thought?
"This one minute in my life is wonderful, It hardly comes...because,

at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my Boss”

[anjaan]

"A Question Asked In A Talent Test "

If U R Married To One Of The Twin Sisters,
How Would You Recognize Your Wife ?
.
.......
.
.
.
.
.
.
The Answer Came:
"Why Should I"

[ndhebar]

5 ke bich men 4 likhkar bataao ?

China : Don't joke

Japan : Imposible

Amerikan : Wrong question

Uk : Not on google

Indian : Easy
"F(IV)E"

So proud to be indian

[amit_tiwari]

Nice and amazingly fresh jokes. Keep it up brother!!!

[ndhebar]

Top Ten Reasons To Go To Work Naked...

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"

2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."

4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

5. You want to see if it's like the dream.

6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

10. No one steals your chair.

[ndhebar]

Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

To test this theory:
Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour.
Then open it and see who's happy to see you.

It is recommended that you NOT try this at home!!!!

[amit_tiwari]

Originally Posted by ndhebar

Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:
It is recommended that you NOT try this at home!!!![/SIZE][/FONT][/B]

:bravo :

[ndhebar]

This is the best I have read in a LONG time

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy

Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work

In other words,
A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
Equation 2

Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money

Therefore:
Man-earn money = Donkey

In other words,
Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
Equation 3

Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend
Woman - spend = Donkey

In other words,
Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend

So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

So, We have:
Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

[amit_tiwari]

Originally Posted by ndhebar

this is the best i have read in a long time

equation 1

human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
donkey = eat + sleep

therefore:
Human = donkey + work + enjoy

therefore:
Human-enjoy = donkey + work

in other words,
a human that doesn't know how to enjoy = donkey that works.

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
equation 2

man = eat + sleep + earn money
donkey = eat + sleep

therefore:
Man = donkey + earn money

therefore:
Man-earn money = donkey

in other words,
man who doesn't earn money = donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
equation 3

woman= eat + sleep + spend
donkey = eat + sleep

therefore:
Woman = donkey + spend
woman - spend = donkey

in other words,
woman who doesn't spend = donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
to conclude:
from equation 2 and equation 3

man who doesn't earn money = woman who doesn't spend

so man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

so, we have:
man + woman = donkey + earn money + donkey + spend money

therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude

man + woman = 2 donkeys that live happily together!

हेहेहे सही गणित लगाया है भाई