Share Santa and Banta Jokes

shilpa · 05-01-2010, 07:13 AM

Hi friends, I have started one thread for Santa and Banta Jokes.. Please share your favorite jokes. I am sharing some of my favorites.

shilpa · 05-01-2010, 07:14 AM

Santa and Banta are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Banta smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around.

He says, "Hey, you shit your pants?"

Santa says, "No."

He believes him and they keep riding. As they go on, the smell gets worse. The smell is so bad, flys begin to swarm. Banta stops his horse and turns around.

He then says, "Are you sure you did not shit your pants?"

Santa, "Yes, I am sure."

They keep going and now the smell is getting to be unbearable. Santa is swatting the flys away. Banta stops his horse and gets off his horse. He then says, "Get of your horse. Pull down your pants. I thought you said you did not shit your pants?"

Santa replies, "I thought you meant today!"

shilpa · 05-01-2010, 07:14 AM

Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow?
A. Send it through courier.

Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.

Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Sorry, Non living things can't communicate.

Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.

Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.

Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.

Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.

Q. What is JINI?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.

Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.

Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.

Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed, a binary tree will grow.

shilpa · 05-01-2010, 07:15 AM

Banta, “All of the thrill is gone from my marriage.”

Santa, “Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?"

Banta, “But what if my wife finds out?”

Santa, “Heck, this is a new age we live in. Go ahead and just tell her about it.”

Banta goes home to his wife and says, “Preeto, I think an affair will help bring us closer together.”

Preeto, “Forget it, I’ve already tried that. It didn’t work.”

shilpa · 05-01-2010, 07:16 AM

Banta called his friend, Santa, and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

Santa said, "Send her some flowers, and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal."

Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman.

The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal.

Banta, "It was a flop idea."

Santa, "Didn't the girl come to your house?"

Banta, "She did, but she refused to cook!"

shilpa · 05-01-2010, 07:16 AM

A cop stops his patrol car when he sees Banta and his girlfriend sitting on the curb. Banta is laying on his side with his pants pulled down, the girl has her finger in his butt, and she's reaming away with a vengeance.

The cop says, "What the hell is going on?"

The girl says, "This is my date. When I told him I wouldn't spend the night with him, he started pounding down the booze. Now, he's too drunk to drive me home, so I'm trying to sober him up by making him puke."

The cop says, "That's not going to make him puke."

She says, "Yeah? Wait till I switch this finger to his mouth."

shilpa · 05-01-2010, 07:17 AM

Having snuck out with a very cute young woman that he met at a party, Banta, exhausted from hours of hot sex, woke up at her apartment at 3 A.M.

"Oh God!" Banta thought, "Jeeto's gonna kill me!"

Trying to figure out how he would explain this to Jeeto without getting whacked with a frying pan, inspiration struck first.

Banta dashed out to the nearest pay phone, dialed his home number quickly, and breathlessly said, "Jeeto, Jeeto! Don't pay the ransom!!! I escaped!!!"

sony · 10-04-2010, 06:56 PM

Santa came to know about his wife's affair and decided to kill her and himself

First he pointed the gun towards himself. His wife started laughing. He said "stop laughing, next is your turn."

sony · 10-04-2010, 06:57 PM

SANTA: there is hole in my bucket
DOCTOR: why did you bring it to me?
SANTA: because you are plastic surgeon

sony · 25-06-2010, 10:09 AM

Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.

************************************************** ******************

Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,C Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9 tak aty hia..
Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k pathy 9 A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,Main ata hai:

************************************************** ******************

Sardar Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala

Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi

Kyun...

Kyun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa-Oye!what R U doing?

Banta-Recording this babys voice.

Santa-Why?

Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi

To usne apne baap ki photo kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya

Aur Niche Likha

"COMING SOON”

------------------------------------------------------------------------

SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?

FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.

SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying

Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Waiter gives bill to Sardar

Sardar: "Take my card."

Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."

************************************************** *************

SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.
Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,

Dost: Garam pani Q?

Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.

************************************************** ***************

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then a Little Sardarji spoke up: "We are all human beans."

************************************************** **************

Sardar k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha:

Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Sardar ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai?

Sardarni: Sartaj, sirf yehi aapka hai.

************************************************** **************

Sardar: Mery dada ny 1857 ke jang main dushman ki tangain kaat di thin.

Dost: Gardanien q nai katin?

Sardar: Wo pehly he kati hui thin...

************************************************** *************

Sardar: Muje E-Mail bnana hy. Sardar, Sardarg, Sardar123, Sardarabc Koi bhi nhe mil rha.

Major Rohail: Tum "Akalmand_Sardar" try kro 100% mil jye ga.

************************************************** *************

Computer Lesson:

Major Rohail: Plz turn ON your computer

Sardar: OK kar liya.

Major Rohail: Now Plz click on MY Computer.

Sardar: OK! Kaha hai "AAP" ka computer?

************************************************** *************

Sardar to wife: rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere age kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,
Wife: Kaun si movie thi?
Sardar: Apni shadi ki

************************************************** ************

Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaye

Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:- to behan kuch or paka lo:

************************************************** *************

Judge: why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover?
Sardar: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one
man every week.

05-01-2010, 07:13 AM	#1
shilpa Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 74 Rep Power: 15	Share Santa and Banta Jokes Hi friends, I have started one thread for Santa and Banta Jokes.. Please share your favorite jokes. I am sharing some of my favorites.

05-01-2010, 07:14 AM	#3
shilpa Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 74 Rep Power: 15	Java Interview Attended by Santa Singh Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ? A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres. Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow? A. Send it through courier. Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA? A. As you wish , I do not have any objections. Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ? A. Sorry, Non living things can't communicate. Q. Explain RMI Architecture? A. I am a computer professional not an architect student. Q. What is the use of Servlets ? A. In hotels, they can replace servers. Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads? A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process. Q. What is JAR file ? A. File that can be kept inside a jar. Q. What is JINI? A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend. Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script? A. I will give invitation. Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ? A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used. Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ? A. When we sow a binary seed, a binary tree will grow.

05-01-2010, 07:15 AM	#4
shilpa Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 74 Rep Power: 15	Have an Affair Banta, “All of the thrill is gone from my marriage.” Santa, “Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" Banta, “But what if my wife finds out?” Santa, “Heck, this is a new age we live in. Go ahead and just tell her about it.” Banta goes home to his wife and says, “Preeto, I think an affair will help bring us closer together.” Preeto, “Forget it, I’ve already tried that. It didn’t work.”

05-01-2010, 07:16 AM	#5
shilpa Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 74 Rep Power: 15	Banta Singh's Date Banta called his friend, Santa, and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? Santa said, "Send her some flowers, and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal." Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman. The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal. Banta, "It was a flop idea." Santa, "Didn't the girl come to your house?" Banta, "She did, but she refused to cook!"

05-01-2010, 07:16 AM	#6
shilpa Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 74 Rep Power: 15	Santa Singh's Date A cop stops his patrol car when he sees Banta and his girlfriend sitting on the curb. Banta is laying on his side with his pants pulled down, the girl has her finger in his butt, and she's reaming away with a vengeance. The cop says, "What the hell is going on?" The girl says, "This is my date. When I told him I wouldn't spend the night with him, he started pounding down the booze. Now, he's too drunk to drive me home, so I'm trying to sober him up by making him puke." The cop says, "That's not going to make him puke." She says, "Yeah? Wait till I switch this finger to his mouth."

05-01-2010, 07:17 AM	#7
shilpa Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 74 Rep Power: 15	Overnight Stay Having snuck out with a very cute young woman that he met at a party, Banta, exhausted from hours of hot sex, woke up at her apartment at 3 A.M. "Oh God!" Banta thought, "Jeeto's gonna kill me!" Trying to figure out how he would explain this to Jeeto without getting whacked with a frying pan, inspiration struck first. Banta dashed out to the nearest pay phone, dialed his home number quickly, and breathlessly said, "Jeeto, Jeeto! Don't pay the ransom!!! I escaped!!!"

10-04-2010, 06:56 PM	#8
sony Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 243 Rep Power: 16	Santa came to know about his wife's affair and decided to kill her and himself First he pointed the gun towards himself. His wife started laughing. He said "stop laughing, next is your turn."

10-04-2010, 06:57 PM	#9
sony Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 243 Rep Power: 16	SANTA: there is hole in my bucket DOCTOR: why did you bring it to me? SANTA: because you are plastic surgeon

25-06-2010, 10:09 AM	#10
sony Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 243 Rep Power: 16	Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank. Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine, Happily they drank & went away. Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya. ************************************************ ************** Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,C Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9 tak aty hia.. Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k pathy 9 A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,Main ata hai: ********************************************** ************** Sardar Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi Kyun... Kyun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa-Oye!what R U doing? Banta-Recording this babys voice. Santa-Why? Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi To usne apne baap ki photo kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya Aur Niche Likha "COMING SOON” ------------------------------------------------------------------------ SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"? FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun. SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa.. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Waiter gives bill to Sardar Sardar: "Take my card." Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card." ********************************************** ********* SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai. Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai, Dost: Garam pani Q? Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain. ********************************************** *********** A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans".. "My father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said another. Then a Little Sardarji spoke up: "We are all human beans." ********************************************** ********** Sardar k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha: Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Sardar ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai? Sardarni: Sartaj, sirf yehi aapka hai. ********************************************** ********** Sardar: Mery dada ny 1857 ke jang main dushman ki tangain kaat di thin. Dost: Gardanien q nai katin? Sardar: Wo pehly he kati hui thin... ********************************************** ********* Sardar: Muje E-Mail bnana hy. Sardar, Sardarg, Sardar123, Sardarabc Koi bhi nhe mil rha. Major Rohail: Tum "Akalmand_Sardar" try kro 100% mil jye ga. ********************************************** ********* Computer Lesson: Major Rohail: Plz turn ON your computer Sardar: OK kar liya. Major Rohail: Now Plz click on MY Computer. Sardar: OK! Kaha hai "AAP" ka computer? ********************************************** ********* Sardar to wife: rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere age kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi, Wife: Kaun si movie thi? Sardar: Apni shadi ki ********************************************** ******** Sardar ki wife inspecter se! Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaye Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:- to behan kuch or paka lo: ********************************************** *********** Judge: why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover? Sardar: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.