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Old 08-10-2011, 04:28 PM   #171
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

PRANSHU'S interview



Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of good.
PRANSHU : Bad.
Interviewer : Come.

PRANSHU: Go.
Interviewer : Ugly.

PRANSHU : Pichlli.
Interviewer : U G L Y?

PRANSHU: PICHLLY !!!!!!!
Interviewer : Shut Up.

PRANSHU: Keep Talking.
Interviewer : Get Out.

PRANSHU: Come In.
Interviewer : Oh my God.

PRANSHU: Oh my Devil.
Interviewer : U r Rejected.

PRANSHU: I am Selected.
oyeee chak de phathe.oooo
baalllleeeeeeeeeeeee
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Old 08-10-2011, 04:28 PM   #172
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

Following are the questions which were asked in an interview and here is disclosed them 4 all those who r in seek of a good job.
don't take it as a joke.

1. Why did you apply for this job?
I have applied for many jobs along with this one and it's just that you
called me first.

2. Why do you want to work for this company?
I have to work for some company, whoever gives me a job, I don't have
any specific company in mind.

3. Why should I hire you?
You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.

4. What would you do if this happened?
Well, it depends on my mindset and mood in that situation...

5. What is your biggest strength?
I dare to join any company who pays me well, without thinking about the
fate of company.

6. What is your biggest weakness?
Girls

7. What was your worst mistake and how did you learn from it?
Joining my earlier company and I learnt that I need to switch my job to
get more money, so I am here today.
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Old 08-10-2011, 04:29 PM   #173
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

English is a very FuNNy Language.. here's some translations from English to Hindi.. EnJOy
Have a nice day!


----- * Achcha din lo!
What's up?
----- *Uppar kya hai?
You're kidding!
----- *Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!
Don't kid me!
----- * Mera bachcha mat banaao!
Yo, baby! What's up?
-----* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?
Cool man!
-----* Thandaa aadmi!
Check this out, man!
----* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!
Don't mess with me, dude.
----- * Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.
She's so fine!
----- * Woh itnee baareek hai!
Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!?
----- * Suno dost, woh chooza mera hai, theek?
Hey good looking; what's cooking?
----* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya pakaa rahee ho?
Are you nuts?
----- * Kya aap akhrot hain?
Son of a gun.
----- * Bachcha bandook ka.
Rock the party.
---- * Party mein patthar feko.
And the best ones are.....
How do you do?
----- * Kaise karte ho?
Keep in touch!
----- * Chhoote Raho
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Old 12-10-2011, 07:58 AM   #174
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.


Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.


Candidate A.


Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.




Candidate B.


He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C


<>He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.
Wait till you see the end of this note! Keep reading...

Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember: Amateurs...built the ark.
Professionals...built the Titanic

And Finally, can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:
* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting

* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year...
Can you guess which organization this is?


Give up yet?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group
that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.



Make sure you read all the way down to the last
> >
> > > sentence, and don't skip ahead.
> >
> > > I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet
> >
> > > paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
> >
> > > I've learned....That we should be glad God doesn't
> >
> > > give us everything we ask for.
> >
> > > I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.
> >
> > > I've learned....That it's those small daily happenings
> >
> > > that make life so spectacular.
> >
> > > I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell is
> >
> > > someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
> >
> > > I've learned....That the Lord didn't do it all in one
> >
> > > day.
> >
> >


What makes me think I can?
> >
> > > I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not
> >
> > > change the facts.
> >
> > > I've learned....That the less time I have to work, the
> >
> > > more things I get done.
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Old 12-10-2011, 08:00 AM   #175
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

I wrote your name on sand it got washed.

I wrote your name in air,it was blown away.then

I wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack .

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*

God saw me hungry, he created pizza .

He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi .

He saw me in dark, he created light .

He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*

Twinkle Twinkle little star

You should know what you are

And once you know what you are

Mental hospital is not so far.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*

TEACHER= Name four members of the cat family?

STUDENTS= Daddy cat,Mummy cat and two kittens !

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*

Why does history keep repeating it self?

Because we weren't listening the first time !

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*

A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house...

still he was in jail.......why?

coz all the 6 were firebrigade staff !

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*

An Astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope.

A sardar was observing him, Suddenly a star falls, seeings

that sardar shouted "kya nishana hai"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*

"Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the

violin after the operation?"

"yes of course...."

"Great ! i never could before"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*

The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass and flowers too.

If rain makes all things beautiful why dosen't it rain on you?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*

Roses are red, Violents are blue monkeys

like u should be kept in zoo.

Don't feel so angry you will find me there too

not in cage but laughing at you.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*

When ur life is in darkness pray to God ask him to

free u from darkness and if after you pray and your

still in darkness, please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL !
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Old 24-10-2011, 12:48 PM   #176
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

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घर से निकले थे लौट कर आने को
मंजिल तो याद रही, घर का पता भूल गए
बिगड़ैल
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Old 25-10-2011, 01:11 AM   #177
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

Quote:
Originally Posted by ndhebar View Post
Good one!!
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काम्या

What does not kill me
makes me stronger!
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Old 30-10-2011, 12:16 PM   #178
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

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घर से निकले थे लौट कर आने को
मंजिल तो याद रही, घर का पता भूल गए
बिगड़ैल
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Old 30-10-2011, 12:44 PM   #179
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

HOW TO CONTROL A WOMAN

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घर से निकले थे लौट कर आने को
मंजिल तो याद रही, घर का पता भूल गए
बिगड़ैल
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Old 01-11-2011, 06:26 PM   #180
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan

Love is holding hands in the street.

Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.

Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.

Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.

Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.

Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.

Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac.

Love is losing your appetite.

Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.


Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

Tv has no place in love.

Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.

Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".


Conclusion: "Love is blind,
Marriage is an eye opener
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घर से निकले थे लौट कर आने को
मंजिल तो याद रही, घर का पता भूल गए
बिगड़ैल

Last edited by ndhebar; 01-11-2011 at 06:41 PM.
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