Humour Unlimited - Page 16

ndhebar · 19-09-2011, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abhisays

An Airline Introduced
A Special Package For Business Men.
Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife’s Ticket Free
After Great Success,
The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives
Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply…
“Which Trip ?”

MissK · 23-09-2011, 11:31 PM

A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they arrived home, the mailman was dead on their porch...

ndhebar · 24-09-2011, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissK

When they arrived home, the mailman was dead on their porch...

Naughty girl

abhisays · 25-09-2011, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissK

A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they arrived home, the mailman was dead on their porch...

ndhebar · 27-09-2011, 01:40 PM

Nice Excuse

A fellow bought a new Mercedes on the Christmas eve and was out on the highway
for a nice evening drive. The top was dowfrn, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he
decided to open her up.

As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further.

The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him.

"What in the heck am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the
end of my shift and it's Christmas eve. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving
that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her
back!" "Have a nice Christmas," said the officer.

singhtheking · 08-10-2011, 03:56 PM

New age poem

Chatting chatting.....
Yes Papaaaa
with new girlfriends...
No Papaaa
.........telling lies......
No Papaaa
open your facebook...

ha..ha..ha....

singhtheking · 08-10-2011, 04:01 PM

Shopkeeper:Oh ho Deepika ji , aaiye aaiye.Kaun sa sabun lena pasand
karengi.Ye dekhiye ye..(Someother soap which is not nirma)

Deepika(Customer) :Nahi Nahi ye nahi woh(pointing at nirma).

Shopkeeper:Par aap to woh, purana wala sabun....(stammerin g)

Deepika(Customer) :Leti thi, par wahi safedi mujhe kam damo mein mile to
koi
woh kyun le, ye(nirma) na le!

Shopkeeper:Man gaye!!

Deepika(Customer) :Kise?

Shopkeeper:Aapki par ki nazar aur nirma super dono ko !!!

Now the song starts... ;-)

WASHING POWDER NIRMA

WASHING POWDER NIRMA

DUDH SE SAFEDI NIRMA SE AAYE

RANGEEN KAPDA BHI KHIL KHIL JAYE

SABKI PASAND NIRMA

WASHING POWDER NIRMA

NIRMA....... ......... ...

LOGO KO KUCH BHI BHEJO PADHNE LAG JATE HAIN........ kya yaar kab sudhroge...

singhtheking · 08-10-2011, 04:07 PM

GALILEO: Great mind!
EINSTINE: Genius mind!
NEWTON: Extraordinary mind!
BILL GATES: Brilliant mind!
ME: Master mind!
YOU??? Never mind!
A - U are attractive
B - U are the Best
C - U are Cute
D - U are Dear to me
E - U are Excellent
F - U are Funny
G - U are Goodlooking
H - Hehehe
I - I'm
J - Joking

singhtheking · 08-10-2011, 04:08 PM

HINDI:

A Kya Bolti Tu ?
A Kya Mai Bolu ?
Sun
Suna
Ati Kya Khandala ?
Kya karu Ake mai Khandala ?
Are Ghumenge, nachenge, gayenge Aish karenge or kya

URDU

AAP KUCH BOLEIN?
HUM KYA BOLEIN??
MULAIZA FARMAYEIN
IRSHAD
TASHREEF LAYEINGI KHANDALA?
KYA KAREIN HUM KHANDALA TASHREEF LAAKE??
ARRE GHOOMEINGE, NAACHEINGE, NAGMEIN SUNAYEINGE, TAFREE KAREINGE OR
KYA!!

ENGLISH:

Aye what do you say?
Aye what should I say?
Listen.
Speak on.
Coming to khandala?
What should I do, coming to khandala?
We'll roam, we'll loaf, we'll sing, we'll dance we"ll
freak, baby,what else?

SANSKRIT :

Aye balike, twam katham kathisyasi
Aye balakah aham kim kathisyamh
Shrinvasi!
Shrunha
Kim twam khandaalaa agchasyasi
Aham kim kurwasyami khandaalayeh
gamisyami, bhramisyami, nryuthyami, gaayami, maja
karishma, kim karishyam .......

singhtheking · 08-10-2011, 04:12 PM

LADKIYON KI KAHANI:

If v treat her nice she says "yaar mujhe line de raha hai"
If v dont she says "kitna akarta hai"
If v dress nicely she says "mujhe impress karna chahta hai"
If v dont she says "tasteless hai yaar"
If v argue with her she says "ziddi hai"
If v sit quietly she says "dumb hai"
If v act smarter she'll lose her brain as u r insulting her
If she acts smarter she thinks its her right
If v dont love her she says "is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai"
If v love her she says "peechhe hi pad gayaa hai"
If v dont tell her ur prob she says " u r not honest 2 me"
If u do tell to her she says "u r a problem child"
If v scold her she says "you act like a grandpa giving lecture"
If she scolds us she says "Yaar, its becoz i care for u.

23-09-2011, 11:31 PM	#152
MissK Special Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Patna Posts: 1,687 Rep Power: 36	Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they arrived home, the mailman was dead on their porch... __________________ काम्या What does not kill me makes me stronger!

27-09-2011, 01:40 PM	#155
ndhebar Special Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Kerrville, Texas Posts: 4,605 Rep Power: 49	Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan Nice Excuse A fellow bought a new Mercedes on the Christmas eve and was out on the highway for a nice evening drive. The top was dowfrn, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What in the heck am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Christmas eve. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go." The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!" "Have a nice Christmas," said the officer. __________________ घर से निकले थे लौट कर आने को मंजिल तो याद रही, घर का पता भूल गए बिगड़ैल

08-10-2011, 03:56 PM	#156
singhtheking Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 180 Rep Power: 14	Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan New age poem Chatting chatting..... Yes Papaaaa with new girlfriends... No Papaaa .........telling lies...... No Papaaa open your facebook... ha..ha..ha....

08-10-2011, 04:01 PM	#157
singhtheking Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 180 Rep Power: 14	Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan Shopkeeper:Oh ho Deepika ji , aaiye aaiye.Kaun sa sabun lena pasand karengi.Ye dekhiye ye..(Someother soap which is not nirma) Deepika(Customer) :Nahi Nahi ye nahi woh(pointing at nirma). Shopkeeper:Par aap to woh, purana wala sabun....(stammerin g) Deepika(Customer) :Leti thi, par wahi safedi mujhe kam damo mein mile to koi woh kyun le, ye(nirma) na le! Shopkeeper:Man gaye!! Deepika(Customer) :Kise? Shopkeeper:Aapki par ki nazar aur nirma super dono ko !!! Now the song starts... ;-) WASHING POWDER NIRMA WASHING POWDER NIRMA DUDH SE SAFEDI NIRMA SE AAYE RANGEEN KAPDA BHI KHIL KHIL JAYE SABKI PASAND NIRMA WASHING POWDER NIRMA NIRMA....... ......... ... LOGO KO KUCH BHI BHEJO PADHNE LAG JATE HAIN........ kya yaar kab sudhroge...

08-10-2011, 04:07 PM	#158
singhtheking Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 180 Rep Power: 14	Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan GALILEO: Great mind! EINSTINE: Genius mind! NEWTON: Extraordinary mind! BILL GATES: Brilliant mind! ME: Master mind! YOU??? Never mind! A - U are attractive B - U are the Best C - U are Cute D - U are Dear to me E - U are Excellent F - U are Funny G - U are Goodlooking H - Hehehe I - I'm J - Joking

08-10-2011, 04:08 PM	#159
singhtheking Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 180 Rep Power: 14	Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan HINDI: A Kya Bolti Tu ? A Kya Mai Bolu ? Sun Suna Ati Kya Khandala ? Kya karu Ake mai Khandala ? Are Ghumenge, nachenge, gayenge Aish karenge or kya URDU AAP KUCH BOLEIN? HUM KYA BOLEIN?? MULAIZA FARMAYEIN IRSHAD TASHREEF LAYEINGI KHANDALA? KYA KAREIN HUM KHANDALA TASHREEF LAAKE?? ARRE GHOOMEINGE, NAACHEINGE, NAGMEIN SUNAYEINGE, TAFREE KAREINGE OR KYA!! ENGLISH: Aye what do you say? Aye what should I say? Listen. Speak on. Coming to khandala? What should I do, coming to khandala? We'll roam, we'll loaf, we'll sing, we'll dance we"ll freak, baby,what else? SANSKRIT : Aye balike, twam katham kathisyasi Aye balakah aham kim kathisyamh Shrinvasi! Shrunha Kim twam khandaalaa agchasyasi Aham kim kurwasyami khandaalayeh gamisyami, bhramisyami, nryuthyami, gaayami, maja karishma, kim karishyam .......

08-10-2011, 04:12 PM	#160
singhtheking Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 180 Rep Power: 14	Re: Humour Unlimited by Anjaan LADKIYON KI KAHANI: If v treat her nice she says "yaar mujhe line de raha hai" If v dont she says "kitna akarta hai" If v dress nicely she says "mujhe impress karna chahta hai" If v dont she says "tasteless hai yaar" If v argue with her she says "ziddi hai" If v sit quietly she says "dumb hai" If v act smarter she'll lose her brain as u r insulting her If she acts smarter she thinks its her right If v dont love her she says "is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai" If v love her she says "peechhe hi pad gayaa hai" If v dont tell her ur prob she says " u r not honest 2 me" If u do tell to her she says "u r a problem child" If v scold her she says "you act like a grandpa giving lecture" If she scolds us she says "Yaar, its becoz i care for u.