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Old 20-10-2015, 08:29 AM   #1291
abhisays
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited

Einstein & a Indian sitting next to each other on a long flight...

Einstein says:
"Let's play a game...
I will ask you a question,
if you don't know the answer,
you pay me only $5
and
if I don't know the answer,
I will pay you $500..."

Einstein asks the first question:
What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon...?

Indian doesn't say a word,
Reaches his pocket,
Pulls out a $5...

Now...
It's the indian turn...

He asks Einstein:
What goes up a hill with 3 legs
and
comes down on 4 legs..?

Einstein searches the net and asks all his smart friends...
After an hour he gives Indian $500...

Einstein going nuts and asks:
Well...
so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four..?

Indian reaches his pocket and gives Einstein $5...

Einstein fainted.....
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Old 20-10-2015, 08:30 AM   #1292
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited

WELCOME TO 21st CENTURY
PHONES - WIRELESS
COOKING - FIRELESS
CARS - KEYLESS
FOOD - FATLESS
TYRES - TUBELESS
DRESS - SLEEVELESS
YOUTH - JOBLESS
LEADERS - SHAMELESS
ATTITUDE - CARELESS
WIVES - FEARLESS
BABIES. - FATHERLESS
FEELINGS - HEARTLESS
EDUCATION - VALUELESS
CHILDREN - MANNERLESS
RELATIONSHIPS-MEANINGLESS
EVERYTHING IS BECOMING LESS BUT OUR HOPES ARE STILL - ENDLESS
IN FACT I'M -SPEECHLESS
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Old 21-10-2015, 02:04 PM   #1293
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited

Quote:
Originally Posted by abhisays View Post
WELCOME TO 21st CENTURY
PHONES - WIRELESS
COOKING - FIRELESS
CARS - KEYLESS
FOOD - FATLESS
TYRES - TUBELESS
DRESS - SLEEVELESS
YOUTH - JOBLESS
LEADERS - SHAMELESS
ATTITUDE - CARELESS
WIVES - FEARLESS
BABIES. - FATHERLESS
FEELINGS - HEARTLESS
EDUCATION - VALUELESS
CHILDREN - MANNERLESS
RELATIONSHIPS-MEANINGLESS
EVERYTHING IS BECOMING LESS BUT OUR HOPES ARE STILL - ENDLESS
IN FACT I'M -SPEECHLESS
Amazing lessfulness everywhere. Very interesting. Thanks.
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Old 21-10-2015, 08:52 PM   #1294
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited

Motivational message of the year

1) "If you don't love your job ..
Take a home loan ".


U will start loving it...


Addition to the above one... take another car loan, you will start loving your boss as well..
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Old 30-10-2015, 01:12 PM   #1295
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited

Quotes for Software developers to keep in mind.

1) A complex program that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simple program that worked.

2)The first place to look for information, is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it

3) The root cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

4) A computer program will always do what you tell it to do but not what you want it to do.

5) When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it is obsolete.

==========
GV
(Not my quotes. Sharing what I received over the net)
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Old 05-11-2015, 07:00 PM   #1296
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited

YOU THINK MUKESH AMBANI DOESN'T HAVE PROBLEMS. ....

Mukesh bhai gets up from his bed room on 15th floor,

takes a swim in the swimming pool on 17th floor,
has breakfast on the 19th floor, dresses up for office on 14th floor, collects his files and office bag from his personal office on 21st floor, wishes bye to Nita bhabhi on 16th floor, says ‘see you’ to his children on 13th floor and goes down on 3rd floor to self drive his 2.5 Crore BMW to office, but then he finds out that he has forgotten the car keys upstairs.
But on which floor?
15th,17th,19th,14th,21st,16th or 13th? He phones all his servants, cooks,
maids, secretaries, pool attendants, gym
trainers, lift attendants etc. on all the floors.
There is a hectic search and lot of running around on all the floors, but the key is not traceable. Fed up, after half an hour of frantic search, Mukesh bhai leaves in a huff in a
chauffeur driven Ikon car.
At 3.30 pm late in the afternoon it is discovered that 4 days back, a temporary replacement maid had washed Mukesh bhai's pant and hung it to dry on a string in the
balcony of 16th floor, with car keys in the pant pocket.
The key was blown away
somewhere by the high winds at 16th floor
level and was never found.

This was detected because of Nita bhabhi’s
habit of checking clothes given for ironing personally.

Meanwhile, after 3 days of the incident, Nita bhabhi with all irritation writ large on her face, complained to Mukesh bhai asking him where he was roaming till 3 am last night.

Mukesh replied that he was at home all night. “Then why did the helicopter land in the terrace at 3 am? I was so worried. I could not sleep whole night," quizzed Nita bhabhi.

"Oh that helicopter”.. That helicopter came from Germany, sent by guys from BMW to deliver the duplicate car key... mumbled Mukesh.

Moral of The Story :
A two bed room flat is better. So guys, be happy in ur two BHK flat....it saves lots of hassles!!!
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Old 06-11-2015, 02:15 PM   #1297
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited

Quote:
Originally Posted by abhisays View Post
YOU THINK MUKESH AMBANI DOESN'T HAVE PROBLEMS. ....

Mukesh bhai gets up from his bed room on 15th floor,

takes a swim in the swimming pool on 17th floor,
has breakfast on the 19th floor, dresses up for office on 14th floor, collects his files and office bag from his personal office on 21st floor, wishes bye to Nita bhabhi on 16th floor, says ‘see you’ to his children on 13th floor and goes down on 3rd floor to self drive his 2.5 Crore BMW to office, but then he finds out that he has forgotten the car keys upstairs.
But on which floor?
15th,17th,19th,14th,21st,16th or 13th? He phones all his servants, cooks,
maids, secretaries, pool attendants, gym
trainers, lift attendants etc. on all the floors.

>>>>>>

Moral of The Story :
A two bed room flat is better. So guys, be happy in ur two BHK flat....it saves lots of hassles!!!
Very interesting. Enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing the story. Moral of the story remains of paramount importance.
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आ नो भद्रा: क्रतवो यन्तु विश्वतः (ऋग्वेद)
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Old 08-11-2015, 02:54 AM   #1298
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited

Absolute Classic!!!

Astrologer: Do u want to know about your husband's future?

Wife: Rubbish, I will decide his future ! you tell me his past.
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Old 07-01-2016, 11:45 AM   #1299
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
"Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
"Well... are you religious?" He said yes.
I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
"Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant ?
"Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist"
"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God!"
"Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God!"
"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off. (courtesy: Emo Philips)



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Old 02-02-2017, 05:00 AM   #1300
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Default Re: Humour Unlimited

Whatsapp Group admin: Hi guys, adding Radha to the group. Radha is new to town as well. So...*

Radha: Hi all....*

Member # 1: Hiiiii....*

Member # 2: Hi Radha... How are you?*

Member # 3: Hey Radha... Let me know if you need any help, OK.*

Member # 4: Hi..*

Member # 5: what's your full name Radha?

Radha: Radhakrishna Chaudhary


(Group remained silent for next 2 days)
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