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Old 05-03-2015, 11:41 PM   #11
Arvind Shah
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

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Originally Posted by deep_ View Post


बीती बातें दोहराई जाए,
सूखी आंखे रुलाई जए ।

आती जाती है जो सांस सी,
यादें वो सारी भुलाई जाए ।

अब रोशनी की क्या जरुरत?
उमीद हर एक मिटाई जाए...

फिर कभी भी जल न पाए,
हर लौ...एसे बुझाई जाए।

उसके दिल पे बोझ न पड़े,
कुछ एसी चाल चलाई जाए...

मै ही बेवफा था आखिर,
यह बात उसको मनवाई जाए ।

कत्ल करने को काफी है,
पलकें गिराई जाए, उठाई जाए।

जहां आना जाना हो उनका,
लाश वहीं दफनाई जाए|


(दीप)
२.३.१५
बहुत खुब !!
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Old 07-03-2015, 02:12 PM   #12
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

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Originally Posted by Pavitra View Post
दीप जी आपका ये सूत्र देखा तो आपकी पहली कविता "कुछ और" के लिये था जो कि बहुत ही प्रशन्सनीय है , लेकिन आपकी दूसरी रचना पढने के बाद मुझे समझ नहीं आ रहा कि किन शब्दों में आपकी तारीफ करूँ , आपकी ये दूसरी रचना वास्तव में बहुत बहुत ज्यादा अच्छी है ।
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very very nice deepji
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Originally Posted by soni pushpa View Post
bahut achche deep ji ....
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Originally Posted by Arvind Shah View Post
बहुत खुब !!
सभी मित्रों को धन्यवाद!
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Old 12-03-2015, 11:25 PM   #13
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

आदतन


छेड़ दी वो ही बात आदतन,
रोए फिर सारी रात आदतन,
चैन न जाने कहां सो गया...
जाग उठे जज़्बात आदतन।

रुत बदली, मौसम भी बदले,
बदल गए हालात आदतन...
तुम बदले, दुनिया बदली,
मन क्या चाहे सौगात आदतन?

हुआ वही, होता जो अक्सर,
आंखो से गीरी बरसात आदतन,
उन आंसु में पिघल चले,
जो पुछे थे सवालात आदतन!

आगे क्या करते बात आदतन?
खा ली हमने मात आदतन!
खत्म हुई हर बार की तरहा...
आखरी वो मुलाकात आदतन!


(दीप १२.३.१५)

Last edited by Deep_; 13-03-2015 at 09:16 PM.
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Old 13-03-2015, 12:08 AM   #14
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

बहुत बढिया....बहुत बहुत बढिया......अब जब से आपको भी गजल लिखते देख रही हूँ तो मुझे भी बहुत मन हो रहा है कि कुछ लिखूँ , पर समझ नहीं आता कि आप लोग इतने अच्छे शब्द लेकर कहाँ से आते हैं? मुझे तो कुछ सूझता ही नहीं.....
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Old 13-03-2015, 12:15 AM   #15
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

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बहुत बढिया....बहुत बहुत बढिया......अब जब से आपको भी गजल लिखते देख रही हूँ तो मुझे भी बहुत मन हो रहा है कि कुछ लिखूँ , पर समझ नहीं आता कि आप लोग इतने अच्छे शब्द लेकर कहाँ से आते हैं? मुझे तो कुछ सूझता ही नहीं.....
एक बार शुरु कर दिजीए बस! आप भी कमाल का अच्छा सोचते और लिखते तो हो ही!
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Old 13-03-2015, 12:18 AM   #16
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

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एक बार शुरु कर दिजीए बस! आप भी कमाल का अच्छा सोचते और लिखते तो हो ही!
जी कोशिश करूँगी कि मैं भी आप लोगों जैसे लिख सकूँ.......
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Old 13-03-2015, 12:14 PM   #17
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

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आदतन

.....
हुआ वही, होता जो अक्सर,
आंखो से गिरी बरसात आदतन,
उन आंसू में पिघल चले,
जो पूछे थे सवालात आदतन!

(दीप १२.३.१५)
बहुत खूब, बहुत सुंदर. आपकी कविताओं में जज़्बात की अच्छी अभिव्यक्ति नज़र आती है. इसी प्रकार लिखते रहें और हम मित्रों के साथ शेयर करते रहें. एक दिन आप कवियों की अगली पंक्ति में होंगे. धन्यवाद, दीप जी.
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Old 13-03-2015, 09:14 PM   #18
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

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बहुत खूब, बहुत सुंदर. आपकी कविताओं में जज़्बात की अच्छी अभिव्यक्ति नज़र आती है. इसी प्रकार लिखते रहें और हम मित्रों के साथ शेयर करते रहें. एक दिन आप कवियों की अगली पंक्ति में होंगे. धन्यवाद, दीप जी.
खुब खुब धन्यवाद रजनीश जी!
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Old 13-03-2015, 10:52 PM   #19
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

शाम



यह दिन ढल रहा है,
पर शाम रुक गई है,
वो पंछी उड़ रहें है,
आवाम रुक गई है।

जो धुप में थी दौडी,
वह बादलों की टोली,
ईस सांझ के किनारे,
सरेआम रुक गई है।

सब रास्ते, चौराहे,
गलीयां तो थक गई है,
चहलपहल भी लेने...
आराम रुक गई है।

बस पोंछ कर पसीना,
मैं आगे बढ रहा हुं,
मेरी जिंदगानी हो कर
बेनाम रुक गई है!

(दीप १३.३.१४)
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Old 13-03-2015, 11:25 PM   #20
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

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शाम

....

जो धुप में थी दौडी,
वह बादलों की टोली,
ईस सांझ के किनारे,
सरेआम रुक गई है।
वाह...वाह !! आपकी कविताओं को पढ़ कर यही कह सकते हैं कि 'एक से बढ़ कर एक'. सारी रचना अद्वितीय है, किंतु उपरोक्त पंक्तियाँ आपकी कल्पना की जैसे खूबसूरती बयान करती है. बहुत बहुत धन्यवाद, दीप जी.
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