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Old 01-04-2015, 12:38 AM   #21
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!



मुझे बन जाने दो, या बिखर जाने दो,
या मिट जाने दो, या निखर जाने दो।

होगा एतबार ईस नशेमन पर भी,
एक तुफान यहां से गुज़र जाने दो।

बहुत राह देखी, तब समझा हूं मैं...
नहीं लौटता वक्त, अगर जाने दो!

बेईन्तहा रहा है, बेईन्तहा सहा है,
अगर ईश्क नशा है, उतर जाने दो!

मुझे जाल में ईतना न उलझाओ,
झुल्फें संवारो दो, या बिखर जाने दो।

सपनें दिखा दिखा, पागल किया मुझे,
चोट भी दे दी, अब सुधर जाने दो!

(दीप १.४.१५)
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Old 01-04-2015, 05:07 PM   #22
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

बहुत ही शानदार ,दीप जी आप वाकई बहुत ही अच्छा लिखते हैं। आपकी सारी कवितायेँ लाजवाब हैं।
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Old 01-04-2015, 08:31 PM   #23
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

आपकी कविताओं में भावनाओं की अच्छी अभिव्यक्ति हुयी है. इन्हें पढ़ना एक सुखद अनुभव से गुज़रने के समान है. धन्यवाद, दीप जी.


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Old 01-04-2015, 09:39 PM   #24
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

Quote:
Originally Posted by kuki View Post
बहुत ही शानदार ,दीप जी आप वाकई बहुत ही अच्छा लिखते हैं। आपकी सारी कवितायेँ लाजवाब हैं।
रचनाए पसंद करने के लिए धन्यवाद कुकी जी!
Quote:
Originally Posted by rajnish manga View Post
आपकी कविताओं में भावनाओं की अच्छी अभिव्यक्ति हुयी है. इन्हें पढ़ना एक सुखद अनुभव से गुज़रने के समान है. धन्यवाद, दीप जी.
रजनीश जी, आपकी टिप्पणी हंमेशा प्रेरणादायक रही है। ईसके लिए धन्यवाद!
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Old 07-04-2015, 02:09 AM   #25
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!




तु दुर रहे चाहे पास रहे,
मिलने की झुठी आस रहे।

तेरे आने की ना तमन्ना हो,
तेरी राह में हम क्यूं उदास रहे?

तेरा नाम लबों पे आए नहीं,
मुझे ईतना होश-ओ-हवास रहे।

मेरे होने से बढ कर है की,
तेरे होने का एहसास रहे।

वो हंस दे कभी तो क्या होगा?
जिसे ग़म ही हंमेशा रास रहे।

खुशीयों के पल बीतें है मगर...
जितने भी रहे, वो खास रहे।

दीप (७.४.१५)
अभी अभी रात २.०० बजे गज़ल पुरी की है!

Last edited by Deep_; 07-04-2015 at 03:55 PM.
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Old 04-05-2015, 03:28 PM   #26
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

एहसान




बस एक मुलाकात का एहसान हो जाए ।
मुझे भी कुछ होने का गुमान हो जाए ।

सदियों से शायद तुम्हे जानता हुं मैं,
तुम्हे भी मेरी कुछ पहेचान हो जाए ।

जो दुनिया आज मुजे अनदेखा करती है,
तुम्हे देख मेरे साथ, वो भी हैरान हो जाए !

तुम जिसे दो कदम चलना कहती हो,
हो सकता है वह मेरी उडान हो जाए ।

पाना तुम्हें कभी मुमकीन ही नही,
यह समज़ना ओर भी आसान हो जाए।

फिर चाहे बाद में हम अन्जान हो जाएं,
बस एक मुलाकात का एहसान हो जाए ।


दीप
(4.5.15)
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Old 04-05-2015, 03:46 PM   #27
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

[QUOTE=Deep_;550925]एहसान

बेहतरीन .....बहुत ही बढिया लिखा है आपने दीप जी.......
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Old 04-06-2015, 09:58 PM   #28
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

वाह दीप बाबू ! आप तो शायरे-आज़म निकले।
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Old 13-06-2015, 01:23 AM   #29
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

गज़ल




कागज़-कलम उठाए, तो गज़ल बन गई,
फिर कुछ लिख ना पाए, तो गज़ल बन गई!

हमने तुम को मांगा और तुम मुस्कुराए,
कुछ ख्वाब ऍसे आए, तो गज़ल बन गई!

मुलाकातों में अक्सर खामोश ही रहे हम,
तनहा दो पल बिताए, तो गज़ल बन गई!

चिंगारी जैसी यादें सीने में उठ रही थी,
जब शोले लपलपाए, तो गज़ल बन गई!

भेजने से जिनको कोई फर्क भी न पड़ता,
ख़त सारे वो जलाए, तो गज़ल बन गई!

दर्द-ओ-ग़म, ग़म-ए-शाम और शाम-ए-तनहाई,
सीने से जब लगाए, तो गज़ल बन गई!

(दीप ९.६.१५)

'गज़ल' बस ऍसे ही बन गई है, शायद आपको पीछली रचनाओं के मुकाबले थोडी फिकी लगे। शब्दों की त्रुटियां तो खैर रजनीश जी सुधरवा ही देंगे, बाकी टीका-टिप्पणी आवकार्य है!

Last edited by Deep_; 13-06-2015 at 01:26 AM.
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Old 13-06-2015, 11:02 PM   #30
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Default Re: कुछ ओर!

Quote:
Originally Posted by deep_ View Post
गज़ल
......
दर्द-ओ-ग़म, ग़म-ए-शाम और शाम-ए-तनहाई,
सीने से जब लगाए, तो गज़ल बन गई!

(दीप ९.६.१५)

'गज़ल' बस ऍसे ही बन गई है, शायद आपको पीछलीरचनाओं के मुकाबले थोडी फिकी लगे। शब्दों की त्रुटियां तो खैर रजनीश जी सुधरवा हीदेंगे, बाकी टीका-टिप्पणी आवकार्य है!
बहुत सुंदर, दीप जी. आदि से अंत तक पूरी ग़ज़ल पर आपकी छाप है, प्रशंसनीय रचना और कमाल की अभिव्यक्ति. हाँ, आपकी इजाज़त से अंतिम शे'र यदि मैं लिखता तो उसकी शक्ल ऐसे होती:

शाम-ए-ग़म सरल थी न आसाँ शब-ए-फ़िराक़
दोनों से ज़ख्म खाये, तो ग़ज़ल बन गई !!

(शब-ए-फ़िराक = विरह की रात)
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Last edited by rajnish manga; 14-06-2015 at 10:13 AM.
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