Punography

[internetpremi]

Our social studies teacher says that her globe means the world to her.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too

Obituaries of those hanged in the old west used to be posted in the noose paper.

Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.

A cheetah and a jaguar were in a race. The cheetah won because he is a cheetah.

The proctologist reassured the patient that his condition could be rectified.

I see you have some graph paper. You must be plotting something.

[Dr.Shree Vijay]

Nice..................

[internetpremi]

Without geometry, life is pointless.

For plumbers, a flush beats a full house

It's a fact, taller people sleep longer in bed.

In a recession, the most secure job is a garbageman. Business is always picking up.

An electrician is a bright spark who knows what's watt.


Some people are wise, and some, otherwise.

Crick: The sound that a Japanese camera makes.

[internetpremi]

Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same. Once you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal.

The best part of being a watch maker is that you get to make your own hours.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

My car was once hit by a truck. I wasn't hurt but I got the freight of my life.

When making butter there is little margarine for error.

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.

Shotgun wedding: wife or death.

[internetpremi]

Those who study the moon are optimists. They look at the bright side.

The pediatrician was a real kidder.

Hey, I love u! It's my favorite vowel.

I've just started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven't done a gig yet.

The coffee tasted like mud because it was ground a couple of minutes ago

If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humor.

[rajnish manga]

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.


Hanging: A suspended sentence.


Quartet: Four men, all of whom think that the other three can’t sing.

[internetpremi]

The painter was hospitalized due to too many strokes.

It was a terrible summer for Humpty Dumpty...but he had a great fall.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

He bought lots of pens before starting his new job. He wanted to make his mark.

Someone called you an owl. Hoo?

I tried to tell my parents i was gay, but I couldn't do it will a straight face.

Triangle relationship? Sounds more like a wreck-tangle.

I told a deer joke once. It was very fawny.

[internetpremi]

Did you hear the creator of McAfee is wanted for murder? I heard the trial will last around 30 days.

If a deaf person goes to court, is it still a hearing?

What time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn!

Terrible word play can be such a punishment.

The world's most gigantic deck of cards was created recently. It was a pretty big deal.


Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft office is in big trouble. You have my Word.

Never trust an atom. They make up everything!

[rajnish manga]

Abscond: To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

Deterrence: The art of producing, in the mind of the enemy, the fear to attack.

Perfume: What a woman hopes will make her the scenter of attention.

Liberty: Consists of giving everyone full rights to mind everyone else’s business.

Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.

Vasectomy: Spoil the rod ….. and spare the child.

[internetpremi]

After periodic doubts about his vocational calling, the young chemistry teacher concluded he was out of his element.

The comedian stopped at the fabric store on his way to a comedy gig. He was looking for new material.

I was looking for watch batteries but I wound up at a clock shop

My cartography job is really going to put me on the map.

Cinderella was thrown off the basketball team because she ran away from the ball.

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.