Funny Jokes....

Rinu · 09-07-2010, 07:44 AM

I am sharing some wonderful funny jokes....njoy

Rinu · 09-07-2010, 07:49 AM

One day, down in the mystical forest, a magical frog was hopping towards a water hole.

The forest was so enormous that the frog had never laid eyes on another animal before. But today, by chance a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner.

The frog called for the two to stop and said, "Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant both of you three wishes. Bear, you can go first."

The bear thought for a moment, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, apart from me, to be female."

For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on.

The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that.

It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well."

The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and roared the engine.

The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for such idiotic items, because after all, he could have asked for money and bought the bike.

For the last wish the bear thought for a while and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, apart from me, were female."

The rabbit grinned, roared the engine, and said, "I wish that the bear was gay."

Rinu · 09-07-2010, 07:50 AM

Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields.

The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast! I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."

The other cow replied, "Heck, I ain't worried. It won't affect us ducks."

Rinu · 09-07-2010, 07:52 AM

A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, "You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.

"The cat thought for a minute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on."

God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.

The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again."

God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.

About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked,

"Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?"

The cat replied, "Oh, it is wonderful. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on wheels you have been sending over are delicious!"

Rinu · 09-07-2010, 07:56 AM

Two little snakes were wiggling along the side of the road when the first little snake turned to the second little snake and asked, "Are we poisonous?"

"Why?" asked the second little snake, to which the first little snake replied, "Because I just bit my lip!"

Rinu · 09-07-2010, 07:57 AM

Once there were these two birds that, every year for quite a few years, had one egg, which they hatched and nurtured and loved until the little chick was ready to leave the nest.

Then, one year, they had two eggs! Well, they were just so excited they could hardly stand it; this year they would each have an egg to take care of and love. They kept close watch on those two eggs so that no harm came to them.

Then one day when the eggs were ready to hatch, an earthquake shook the tree that the nest was in; the two birds flew away to safety, all the while worrying about those two eggs that were about to hatch.

When the tremor was finished, they hurried back to the nest.

As they neared it, they heard one strong "Cheep" coming from the nest. They were worried that something might have happened to the other egg, but when they got to the nest, they found that there were two chicks cheeping in unison.

This just goes to show that two can cheep as lively as one.

Rinu · 09-07-2010, 07:59 AM

Over dinner, Jill said to John, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!"

"How did you meet this fellow?" John asked, very concerned.

Jill said, "Well, we met by accident. I hit him with the car."

Rinu · 09-07-2010, 08:00 AM

Bernie is walking down High Street in Brooklyn when he notices the following sign in the shop window of 'Moshe's Kosher Emporium' -ALL THE DEVCIES YOU NEED FOR YOUR HOEM

So he goes inside and asks to see Moshe.

"Can I help you, sir?" Moshe asks Bernie.

"I just wanted to point out that you have two spelling errors in the sign you have in your window."

"Yes, I know," says Moshe. "It's a deliberate marketing policy. You see, we get around a dozen people coming in here each day to point this out to us, and of these, at least 3 or 4 buy something. And now that you're in here, sir, can I interest you in our special low price for a kitchen table and four chairs?"

Rinu · 09-07-2010, 08:01 AM

After a lengthy delay for plane repairs, the passengers were becoming impatient but quit complaining when the pilot told them:

"Why don't you look at it this way? Wouldn't you rather be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here?"

Rinu · 09-07-2010, 08:02 AM

There once was a wise sage who wandered the countryside. One day, as he passed near a village, he was approached by a woman who told him of a sick child nearby. She beseeched him to help this child.

So the sage came to the village, and a crowd gathered around him, for such a man was a rare sight. One woman brought the sick child to him, and he said a prayer over her.

"Do you really think your prayer will help her, when medicine has failed?" yelled a man from the crowd.

"You know nothing of such things! You are a stupid fool!" said the sage to the man.

The man became very angry with these words and his face grew hot and red. He was about to say something, or perhaps strike out, when the sage walked over to him and said: "If one word has such power as to make you so angry and hot, may not another have the power to heal?"

And thus, the sage healed two people that day.

09-07-2010, 07:44 AM	#1
Rinu Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 150 Rep Power: 15	Funny Jokes.... I am sharing some wonderful funny jokes....njoy

09-07-2010, 07:49 AM	#2
Rinu Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 150 Rep Power: 15	One day, down in the mystical forest, a magical frog was hopping towards a water hole. The forest was so enormous that the frog had never laid eyes on another animal before. But today, by chance a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop and said, "Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant both of you three wishes. Bear, you can go first." The bear thought for a moment, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, apart from me, to be female." For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that. It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well." The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and roared the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for such idiotic items, because after all, he could have asked for money and bought the bike. For the last wish the bear thought for a while and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, apart from me, were female." The rabbit grinned, roared the engine, and said, "I wish that the bear was gay."

09-07-2010, 07:50 AM	#3
Rinu Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 150 Rep Power: 15	Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast! I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replied, "Heck, I ain't worried. It won't affect us ducks."

09-07-2010, 07:52 AM	#4
Rinu Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 150 Rep Power: 15	A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, "You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking. "The cat thought for a minute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on." God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow. A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat. The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again." God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller skates. About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?" The cat replied, "Oh, it is wonderful. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on wheels you have been sending over are delicious!"

09-07-2010, 07:56 AM	#5
Rinu Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 150 Rep Power: 15	Two little snakes were wiggling along the side of the road when the first little snake turned to the second little snake and asked, "Are we poisonous?" "Why?" asked the second little snake, to which the first little snake replied, "Because I just bit my lip!"

09-07-2010, 07:57 AM	#6
Rinu Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 150 Rep Power: 15	Once there were these two birds that, every year for quite a few years, had one egg, which they hatched and nurtured and loved until the little chick was ready to leave the nest. Then, one year, they had two eggs! Well, they were just so excited they could hardly stand it; this year they would each have an egg to take care of and love. They kept close watch on those two eggs so that no harm came to them. Then one day when the eggs were ready to hatch, an earthquake shook the tree that the nest was in; the two birds flew away to safety, all the while worrying about those two eggs that were about to hatch. When the tremor was finished, they hurried back to the nest. As they neared it, they heard one strong "Cheep" coming from the nest. They were worried that something might have happened to the other egg, but when they got to the nest, they found that there were two chicks cheeping in unison. This just goes to show that two can cheep as lively as one.

09-07-2010, 07:59 AM	#7
Rinu Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 150 Rep Power: 15	Over dinner, Jill said to John, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!" "How did you meet this fellow?" John asked, very concerned. Jill said, "Well, we met by accident. I hit him with the car."

09-07-2010, 08:00 AM	#8
Rinu Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 150 Rep Power: 15	Bernie is walking down High Street in Brooklyn when he notices the following sign in the shop window of 'Moshe's Kosher Emporium' -ALL THE DEVCIES YOU NEED FOR YOUR HOEM So he goes inside and asks to see Moshe. "Can I help you, sir?" Moshe asks Bernie. "I just wanted to point out that you have two spelling errors in the sign you have in your window." "Yes, I know," says Moshe. "It's a deliberate marketing policy. You see, we get around a dozen people coming in here each day to point this out to us, and of these, at least 3 or 4 buy something. And now that you're in here, sir, can I interest you in our special low price for a kitchen table and four chairs?"

09-07-2010, 08:01 AM	#9
Rinu Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 150 Rep Power: 15	After a lengthy delay for plane repairs, the passengers were becoming impatient but quit complaining when the pilot told them: "Why don't you look at it this way? Wouldn't you rather be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here?"

09-07-2010, 08:02 AM	#10
Rinu Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 150 Rep Power: 15	There once was a wise sage who wandered the countryside. One day, as he passed near a village, he was approached by a woman who told him of a sick child nearby. She beseeched him to help this child. So the sage came to the village, and a crowd gathered around him, for such a man was a rare sight. One woman brought the sick child to him, and he said a prayer over her. "Do you really think your prayer will help her, when medicine has failed?" yelled a man from the crowd. "You know nothing of such things! You are a stupid fool!" said the sage to the man. The man became very angry with these words and his face grew hot and red. He was about to say something, or perhaps strike out, when the sage walked over to him and said: "If one word has such power as to make you so angry and hot, may not another have the power to heal?" And thus, the sage healed two people that day.