Humour Unlimited

[anjaan]

[anjaan]

Some funny Tech Support conversations:

1. Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."


2. Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$


3. Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?


4. Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."


5. Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech Support:"What does it say?"

Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

[anjaan]

Ek Ladki, ek din Art Gallery dekhne Jati Hai Aur Ek Tasveer Dekhkar,
Gallery Ke Malik Se Kahti Hai:

Ladki : iss Bhayanak Tasveer Ko Aap Modern
Art Kehte Ho !?

Maalik : Meri Maa Tu Dimag Mat Laga, Ghar Jaa,

Ye Aaina ( mirror ) Hai.

[anjaan]

Man was smoking in a bus. Conductor: No Smoking ka board nahin dikhta ?
Man: Uske side mein 'Always Wear Condom' ka board hai, ab vo bhi laga ke baithoon?


A man married a Lady Traffic police Inspector
Friend: How was ur first night?
Man: She charged Rs 100 from me for Overspeed, 200 for wrongside entry
and
Rs 500 for no helmet


Jab tumahara rape hua to tumne kya mehsoos kiya?
Girl: Ladoo agar zabardasti bhi khilaya jaye to bhi lagta to meetha hi hai


A lady from 2nd floor asking a bananawala: Kaise diye?
Bananawala: Memsaab Aath mein Bara
Lady: Saat mein Tera deta hai to oopar aaja


My Favourite one:
Hindi class mein master ki pant ki zip khuli dekh Ladkiyan zor se hasne
lagi Masterji bole: Zyada hehe ki to bahar nikaal kar khada kar doonga

[anjaan]

Birthday Present

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real b*tch tonight, Dave."

[anjaan]

Boys ki 2 baate Bahut achi hai.
.
.
.
.
.
1) Kisi Parayi Ladki Par Nazar Nahi
Dalte,
.
.
.
.
.
.
2) Kisi Ladki Ko Parayi Nahi Mante

[anjaan]

[anjaan]

If Vijay Mallya gets into film
production..,
Kingfisher Productions (Films of Good Times)
Presents:
1) Soda Akbar
2) Rab Ne Pila di Thodi
3) Rum de basanti.
4) Hum tight ho chuke sanam
5)Beer Zaara
6)Bevde Zameen par..
7)kabhi whisky,kabhi rum
8)brandy rathore
10)3 drunkards
11)Ek tha kingfisher
&
12)Whisky donor

[anjaan]

[anjaan]

HINDI SONGS & THEIR MEDICAL INTERPRETATIONS

Jiya Jale jaan jale,
Raat bhar dhuan chale
-FEVER

Tadap tadap ke is dil se aah nikalti rahi
-HEART ATTACK

Suhani raat dhal chuki ...naa jaane tum kab aoge
-CONSTIPATION

Bidi jalayle jigar se piya jigar ma badi aag he
-ACIDITY

Tujhme rab dikhta hai ..yaara main kya karoo
-CATARACT

Tuje yaad na meri aayi kisi se ab kya kahna
-ALZHEIMER'S

Mann dole mera tann dole
-VERTIGO

Tip tip barsa paani,
paani ne aag lagayee
-URINARY INFECTION

Dil Dhadak Dhadak ke keh raha he..
-HYPERTENSION

Aaj Kal Paaon Zameen par nahi padte mere..
-CORN ON FEET

Haay re
haay Neend nahin aaye..
-INSOMNIA

Batana bi nahi aata, Chupana bi nahi aata..
-PILES
And Above All

Lagi Aaj Saawan ki phir woh Zadi he..
-LOOSE MOTION